together we will be unbroken

Stephen left today. I went to the airport and sat with him until his plane took off. We hugged and cried. Then I watched his plane take off like I have many times before. And like the many times before, I felt empty when he left. Now I'm sitting on my bathroom florr with a blade in my hand. I trace the vein in my wrist, but I don't break the skin. I could do it, just end everything right here right now. I sigh. This is stupid. I throw the blade across the room and walk to Ronnie's. I hope he's in there. I knock on the door. "Hey Tum what's up?" He smiles. "Can I talk to you?" My voice cracks. He face changes. "Yeah sure come on." He puts his arm around around my shoulders and guids me inside. "So what do you want to talk about?" I swallow. "Can i have a hug." All of my defenses break. "Aw Tum." He pulls me into a tight hug and I start sobbing. "I'm here for you." He says as he strokes my hair. I cry harder and my knees give out. "Whoa, hey I gotchya." He picks me up bridal style and sits down on the bed. You're pathetic. Okay, you have five more seconds to cry and then you're done, ready? Five. I scream into his shoulder. Four. He pulls me tighter. Three. I dig my nails into the backnof his neck. Two. My body goes slack. One. Ibtake a deep breath and pick my head up off his shoulder. "You okay?" I shake my head. "I didn't think so. So do you want to tell me what's wrong?" I nod amd take a deep breath. "Stephen left today." "I know." He sighs. "You miss him already huh?" I nod. "That's not why you came here though." I nod. "Spill it sister." He crosses his legs. I laugh a little. "Okay, well first you have to promise me, promise me, you won't freak out." "I promise." He is so going to freak. "Well let's start at the begining then shall we? It all started when I tweeted that thing about going on tour with you. Aiden called me and said that he was in Cincinatti. I had a panic attack and the only way to stop was to... well..." I wipe off the make up on my wrist. Ronnie's breath hitches, but he doesn't say anuthing. "Then that night you brought the guys over. After allnof you fell asleep I went on a walk. With Ashley. He kissed me, then when we got back to my apartment we slept together. No, not like that, like you and I sleep together. Well... he slept, I watxhed him. Creepy right? Anyway, the whole time I was thinking about how nice it would be to have this every day. Wierd right? Anyway, on the first day of tour I gotna call from Vanessa, she told menthat she had just cut herself. It killed me. She is such a sweet girl..." I sigh. "That night Ashley and I well.... i think you know us both well enough to get the picture. And we di the same thing the night after. Afterward he would act all boyfriendy and I was like aw this is so nice. Then he started to ignore me. It hurt, and Aiden was texting me and when he did I would, well you know." I gesture to my wrist. "Then the Cinci show.... He had been texting me all day, then after I sang he texted me. I went out for a breath of air and he was waiting for me. You have to promise not to freak out. He um... roughed me up a bit... don't start I have to finish this before I loose my nerve. Nothing really happened until the night you got really drunk at the club. When I came to pick you up I sae Ashley makimg out with Kina. I broke. Then a few days later I went back to tje club amd went home with a guy. Then when I came back we got in an argument amd he insulted me for the rest of the day. New Years rilled aroumd and he was really nice to me that day. Then that night when I wasnhere alone he knocked on my door and I think you can guess what happened. I woke up alone and now I'm really sad and I don't kniw what to donso I came to you." I finish. "Tum." He says. "Youbdo some pretty stupid shit. I do to. But you're young and it's your job. Just knoe that I am always here forbuou."

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