Flashback:

Fire! My house is on fire! How, what? I've got to get out of here! I sprint out of my bedroom and down the hall. It's so hard to breath, and the smoke burns my eyes. Just a little further you can do it. I turn and run down the stairs. Almost there... I'm suddenly air born. I scream. The burning stairs fall on top of me. The last thing I remember is the searing pain and my parents' screaming.
end.

"I woke up a few months later in a hospital. I had a lot of internal damage. I'm missing all of the organs that I don't need to survive."

"What happened to your parents?" Ashley's eyes are soft and gentle, but there is something there that I can't quite put my finger on.

Don't cry. "They didn't make it." My voice cracks but no tears come.

"Oh Lace..." His arms tighten around me again, yeilding the same result as last time. "Sorry." He loosens his grip. "That explains the scars, but not the bruises."

"Well... I kinda sorta had a run in with Aiden during the last show..." I avert my eyes.

"You what?!" There is an edge to his voice that makes me wince.

"I went out to get some air between sets, and he was waiting for me in the ally..."


His eyes pop out of his head. "What happened?"

"He ugh..." I'm trying to put this as delicately as possible so he doesn't freak. "I don't know what he was trying to do actually..."

"Did you go to the hospital to get everything checked out?" He is so freaking out and it's making me freak out.

"I just did a little self assessment in the bathroom." I yawn.

"I think you should go and get your shoulder and stomach checked out just in case." He is trying to hide his anger. But he is really tense and his voice is strained.

"I'm fine, everything works the way it should, I'm just banged up." I really want him to drop this.

He sighs. "Okay, well how did you get away?" He asks urgently.

"I hit him in the back of the head with a glass bottle."

He smiles, and lets out a forced laugh. "Nice." I smile but don't respond, hooping he will take the I-don't-want-to-talk-about-it hint. He rubs my forearm with his thumb. "Were you doing this when you said you weren't feeling well?"

"No, it was before the show." Please, please drop it.

"Why?"

Son-of-a-bitch. "He has been texting, and calling me since before the tour started, and I get panic attacks every time he does. The only way I can calm down is if i do this." I know it's a horrible thing to say, but it's true.

"Did he know you would be there?" He looks really concerned.

"Yes."

"That's so messed up. I can't believe people can do things like that."

"Well you better believe it because it happens every day." I really don't want to talk anymore.

"That's it? You just accept it?" He asks coldly.

"It's the way things are." I say flatly. "I know it sucks, but it's just the way it is." I think about all of the things that Aiden did to me and a tear escapes my eye.

"No more crying okay?" Ashley wipes the tear away with his thumb. "Come here." He rolls onto his back, pulling me onto his chest. "You are too beautiful, and two important to do this to yourself." He rubs my back. When he gets to the spinal surgery scar on my lower back I melt into him. There and my hips are my weakness. I hear him chuckle, and feel the vibrations in his chest. He rubs his thumb along the scar, and I begin to drift off to sleep. The last thing I hear is Ashley saying, "God, you make it so hard to stop loving you."

Notes