The Broken One

I wake up in the morning excited. I didn’t expect that I’d miss Andy so much by the third day of being here. In a way, Andy is my only friend.
The day goes agonizingly slow, the minutes ticking by until Andy will come.
“This is the first time I’ve seen you halfway happy”
Dr. Wesley, my therapist, says.
“Andy's visiting today”
I say, smiling for the first time since coming here.
“That’s good, it usually always seems to help when family comes and visits patients, it lets them know they haven’t been forgotten”
She says, sitting back in her chair and crossing her leg over the other.
“So today, I wanted to talk about how things were at school”
She says, looking at me, waiting for my reaction like always before continuing.
“You mentioned yesterday that kids bully you, did that have anything to with your suicide attempt?”
She asks. I nod instead of saying yes. Dr. Wesley knows I'm not much of a talker to begin with and that just nodding or shaking my head is easier for me to communicate and I'm more likely to give her answers this way.
“I'm assuming it also had to do with the cutting also?”
She asks. I nod again, my stomach starting to twist, I hate talking about this subject, it’s embarrassing for me even though I know I'm not the only person she deals with that has done these kinds of things.
“How did you feel when these kids would bully you?”
She asks, waiting for my response. I think about it for a minute before answering.
“I felt like what they were saying was true, that I really am a weirdo. I just felt like there was something wrong with me”
I say, picking at my nails. Dr. Wesley nods and scribbles something down on her clipboard.
“Why did that lead you to cut?”
She asks.
“Sometimes I felt like I deserved it, that I needed to punish myself for not being like everyone else. Other times I just wanted to feel the pain and see the damage, I wanted the outside to replicate what the inside of me looked like, broken”
I say, my voice shaky.
Dr. Wesley is just about to say something when her phone rings. She picks it up and answers. After talking to whoever is on the other end she sets the phone down.
“I guess our time here will be cut a little short, Andy is here”
She says, smiling and standing up from her chair. I stand up, a smile growing on my lips. The door opens and a nurse comes in.
“Please follow me Cynthia, you have a visitor”

Notes

This chapter is kind of just a filler so it's pretty short.

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~becca