Save Me From Myself
Possible To Love Again?
I yet again, opened my eyes and looked at my phone. It read a little past 1:00 am. I groaned and threw one of my pillows over my head. I smushed my face down into the mattress, trying to at least get a wink of sleep. After a minute or so, I gave up, and sat up in the bed. A headache pounded through my head. Shit... I was havin' one of those, sorta kinda hangovers. I slightly pulled open the curtain while I rubbed my temple. No one in sight. I slugged out of bed, and stretched. If I wasn't gonna sleep, I might as well do something. I'd mess with my hair That's a start. I trugged to the bathroom, and cracked the door. I flicked on the light, and shuddered at my apperance.
My makeup, smudged and ugly, blended weirdly and was smushed all over my face. Ew. I grabbed my makeup remover, and washed it all off. It took forever, but I finally got most of it all. Then, I brushed out my hair. I flattened it out and got as much hairspray as I could out of it. I continued to brush it until it was amazingly soft, and my bangs lightly fell upon my face. They about covered my eye, but I didn't care. I finished up, and put all my stuff away. Clicking off the light, I opened the door, only to find myself face to face with Andy. Worry was plastered on his face as he looked me over.
"Are you ok?" He asked. "I heard you get up and I just wanted to make sure you were alright."
"What?" I said. "Oh! Ya I'm fine I just... can't sleep for some reason. Don't know why." But I knew exactly why. He sighed with relief. "So you didn't...hurt... yourself?"
I shook my head quickly, shocked. "N-no! I didn't do that! I...I promised to you. I wouldn't just go and break it." I felt oddly hurt. He must have noticed.
"Oh shit." He burried his face in his hands. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been insensitive. Dammit. I was just worried and...ugh dammit."
I half smiled. "It's fine, really." I pulled his hands away from his face. "I understand. I wouldn't exactly trust me either..."
"No, no." He said. He leaned against the wall, next to me. "I do trust you. Honest. I just- That stuff is really deep for me. I get worried so easily."
"It's fine. It's really fine. I get it. You were just worried, its understandable."
His tense figure diminished a bit, as his face flodded with relief. "Hey, I can't sleep either, you wanna talk for a bit?" He asked.
I nodded. "Ya. That sounds nice."
He smiled, and lightly grabbed my hand. He pulled me over to my bunk. He hoisted himself up on it, and held out his hand for me to take. I took it happily, and pulled myself up next to him. He closed the curtain, and we sat against the wall. For a moment, we just stared at each other, then, Andy reached his hand down, and lifted the hair off of my eye, he pushed them to the side, and lightly flashed a small, yet beautiful smile.
"I like it out of your face." He said, and I could see him blush a little. It was cute. "I like looking at your eyes."
I shook my head. "My ugly brown eyes." I chuckled a humorless laugh. "There's nothing pretty about them."
I looked up at him, he was wide eyed, his mouth slightly open. "Emily..." he whispered. He scooted closer a bit. "Your eyes...are beautiful." I blushed a deep red, and started to lower my head again. But this time, his hand stopped me from lowering it any further. His hand moved under my chin, and he pushed my head back up, so I was staring into his eyes. He was about to speak, but I spoke first. "You are the one with the beautiful eyes." His gorgeous, crystal blue eyes. They were nothing compared to mine.
His started to lean in, but stopped. He was only inches away now. His hand almost touching mine. "That couldn't be more untrue." He mumbled. Suddenly, he squinted his eyes. "Hold on a sec." He said. He leaned in even closer, his face now right in front of mine. His hand moved up to my face. His hand rested on my cheek for a moment, then, with his thumb, he lightly pressed against the side of my eyebrow, and rubbed down. "Left over eyeshadow." He softly laughed. I giggled quietly. I didn't want anyone to wake up. It was only like 2:00 am. And, ok I'll admit it, I like spending time with Andy. I didn't want anyone to interrupt this. I expected him to lean away after this, but instead, he stayed where he was. He stared into my eyes, and my heart fluttered. The memory of us kissing popped into my head.
"That kiss," he said, like he was reading my mind, "was breathtaking."
I blushed even harder, if such a thing was possible. I didn't think I would be able to speak right, so I just nodded.
He grinned a smile that seemed full of happiness, and slowly, his lips connected to mine. I was shocked for a second, and hesitated. I guess he could feel it, because he abruptly pulled away. He stared at the ground, blushing almost as bad as I was. But this was blush of embarassment. A blush you did when you were ashamed. Oh god. He thinks he did something wrong. I just hesitated because... I've been in love before, or at least thought I was... and it didn't turn out right. Could I really take that risk again? I was so afraid of getting hurt... But Andy? He was different. He wasn't like other guys. He sincerely cared about me. And I knew he didn't want to hurt me. Maybe... I could be in love again. Maybe I was finally able to take the risk, and move on.
Pulled out of thought, I saw that he had drawn back the curtains, and had one leg hanging off the side.
"I'm sorry," he quickly said, "I should probably go." I quickly grabbed his shoulder, and made him face me. I didn't want him to go. I pulled the curtains closed, and scooted so close I was practically sitting on his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and burried my face into his chest.
"I don't want you to go." I said. "I've... just had a rough time with... things like this." His breath staggered for a moment. Was he tearing up? I was about to look up, when I felt his arms wrap around me. His hugs, usually comforting, felt different this time. It felt more protective. And I felt so safe. Safer than I've ever felt with anyone.
"I get it." He murmured, "It's my fault."
"No," I retorted, "don't think that. It's my fault. You did nothing wrong." He said nothing more. We sat there for a while, until I felt Andy let out a tired sigh. I was started to feel tired too. My body was starting to shake from sitting up too long. I felt him pull us down, until I felt my head rest against the pillow. We laid there, locked in an embrace. Slowly, but heavily, I felt myself drifting off into sleep. My arms started to lossen around his neck, and my body started to relax against his. As I did, I noticed that my body and his, fit together. Mine curled up in his so perfectly, and his wrapped around mine so protectively. It was perfect. My body continued to shake though. I guess I was really more tired than I thought. Before I drifted off, I felt him run his fingers through my hair.
"Stop shaking." I heard him say, "I'll be here all night. I know you're tired. Go to sleep, it's all ok. I wont leave."
"You promise you'll still be here?" I whispered, almost inaudibly.
"Promise. Goodnight, princess," he murmured, and I felt him press his lips against my forehead. He continued to stroke my hair as I fell into a light sleep.
Andy's POV
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I felt her arms loosen around my neck. And after a moment, I could feel her slowly relax. Her body pressed against mine. I smiled, and ran my fingers through her hair. I loved the feeling of her against me. I myself started to drift off, when I felt her body continue to shake. I leaned down to her ear and whispered, "stop shaking. I'll be here all night. I know you're tired. Go to sleep, it's all ok. I won't leave."
"You promise you'll still be here?" I heard her whisper, although it was hard to hear her.
"Promise." I murmured. "Goodnight, princess." She was a princess, and i'd make sure to treat her like one. I lightly kissed her forehead, and continued to stroke her hair. Almost immediately, she stopped shaking, and I knew she had fallen asleep. I thightened my grip around her. I never wanted to let go. I scooted as close as possible to her. Slowly, I started to fall asleep. My arms still cradled around her as I drifted off.
you should totally continue, this story is amazing! its one of my favorites!
4/21/15