Vibrator

I didn’t go to sleep.

I haven’t for two nights.

I was too scared of what would await me in my dreams.

I was sleeping with CC and he told me I was safe.

But was I safe from myself?

I got out of the bed and I felt so weak, so empty now.

How could he do this?

I went into the bathroom and stared at my reflection for a long, long time.

I could feel Andy kissing my on my nose and my cheek, but he wasn’t there.

Tears streamed down my cheeks, and I couldn’t seem to stop them from falling.

I shut my eyes tightly.

Footsteps made the floorboards creak and moan, a knock snapping me back into my senses.

“(NAME)?” his voice asked and I looked up. I opened the door, staring at CC.
I stepped towards him and wrapped my arms around him.
“You need to go to sleep…” He whispered to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and leading me back to his room. I climbed under the covers and moved close to him.

“I...I feel so empty…” I spoke out into the silence. I haven’t talked for a while to him. I didn’t want to speak.

No answer.

Did he fall asleep already?

“I just want to be ok again…”

I didn’t care.

“I wish my dad never did that, I wish Andy never did that...And...And I wish I wasn’t...here…”

No answer again.

Notes