Vibrator

His lips met mine and he kissed me passionately and I kissed him back. I began to undo his tie, pushing his jacket off of his shoulders. Continuing to kiss him, I started to unbutton his shirt, struggling a bit due to how fast I was going. Andy pulled back for a second and he chuckled, moving my hand away and then taking off his own shirt. I turned around and he unzipped my dress, pulling it off of me and placing it on the floor. I was thinking that this is what was going to happen tonight, so I put on a pair of sexy black panties and a bra. Andy’s pants were already off. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his hips. My hands went to the back of his head, playing with his hair and kissing him. Our bodies were so close that I could feel his heart beating in his chest. He placed me down on the bed, and I tried my best to flip us over so I was on top of him. He turned himself over so he was beneath me, his hands going to my ass and groping it. I started to pull down Andy’s boxers and he pulled down my panties. He then reached up and unclipped my bra, pulling it off and throwing it to the side. I sat up straight, staring into his eyes before Andy positioned himself at my entrance, and I slowly went down. Things felt different this way with me on top, it was deeper than it would usually be. My hands rested on his chested and my mouth opened, letting out a quiet, high pitched moan. His hands held my hips, guiding me up and down slowly. I squeezed my eyes shut, tipping my head back a bit and letting out more moans. It was unexpected when he pulled my hips down fast and hard, causing me to nearly scream. This still felt so strange from how he was going so deep into me. Andy guided my hips at a steady pace, still bringing me back down hard each time. But I started to get use to it.
“Nnnng...A...Andy…” I moaned out softly. He could see how I was starting to struggle with this, so he flipped us over so I was underneath him. Without saying anything, he thrusted into me hard and fast, my hands going to his back to hold onto him. His lips met mine and he kissed me, and I had a feeling it was also to muffle any moans since we knew people were next to us. His thrusts got harder and my moans got louder, and I found myself scratching at his back a bit.
“Ohhh...fuck.” Andy said and when I looked into his eyes, all I saw was lust and love. The staring didn’t last that long though. I tipped my head back and let out another loud moan, Andy grabbing my face and bringing my lips back to his. This went on for a bit, Andy’s thrusts getting quicker and harder. His mouth opened and he let out a shaky moan as he came, his thrusts slowing until they came to a stop.
“Holy shit, (NAME). That’s all I’m saying,” Andy said and I closed my eyes, laughing softly.
“I can easily say the same about you,” I responded and Andy rolled off from on top of me.
“Hope we didn’t wake up the people in the other room, they might have gotten jealous,” Andy said and I laughed again.
“They probably would get jealous since they heard how loud you can make someone moan,” I said, rolling over so I was on my stomach next to him. He gave me a cute grin then sat up.
“I think I’m gonna take a shower...Do you wanna come with?” He asked and I nodded. We both got up and went into bathroom. He turned on the shower and climbed in, then he helped me in after him. Once I got in, he pulled me close, staring me in the eye.
“You know...When I say you are beautiful I really do mean it. Everything about you is beautiful, and its so hard to see you ever be upset,” Andy said as he looked down at me. I felt myself falling again. I closed my eyes tightly, putting my forehead against Andy’s chest.
“Wh...When I’m with you...my pain is numbed. Its like I can barely feel it. But the seconds I spend away from you set me spiraling back down to the start of the darkness. All I want to ask of you is...don’t leave me alone...don’t send me away...I wouldn’t be able to live…” I felt tears streaming down my cheeks, or was that just water from the shower? A finger traced down my spine.
“I know...I feel so bad when I am away from you, but I was starting to think that I should take you with me to more places, only if you want though.” Andy spoke softly, his hand moving to trace my collar bone.
“I’d love to, and you know I would.” I responded, looking up at him and giving him a smile. He went behind me, gently brushing his fingers over my shoulders. His hands met mine and he grabbed mine, giving them a small and gentle squeeze.

Notes

sorry if it sucks i wasnt in the mood for smut today but wanted to update.

im not sure how many of you saw my panic update last night, but for those who did and messaged me: Thank you.

Last night I ended up self harming, and pretty badly. I started to freak out, I felt faint, and I could barely breathe all due to a panic attack following it. I am so ashamed to admit that I did self harm though, since things were going better. I wrote an author note asking for people to message me and just talk to me, and many people did. I ended up talking to two very amazing people during that time, and they both helped me so much. I cannot express how caring all of you guys are, and I can't believe some of you put up with my bullshit and listen to me. It means a lot though, so thank you.

I'm a bit better now, still scared and I got really dizzy many times today. Next time I talk to my therapist, I'm going to make myself tell her about my self harm problems. I really need the help since I don't want this to happen again.

Weeks ago, I remember crying to myself thinking that depression is going to end my life and that I won't be strong enough. I'm still unsure about this. Honestly, I'm too young to put up with this for much longer and I'm not strong enough to keep on fighting.

Thanks lovies<3