Vibrator

I couldn’t go to sleep that night. I was snuggled up against Andy and he had his arm wrapped around me, but even though I was so comfortable I was traumatized. It was stupid of me to go out with Kevin. It was stupid of me to push Andy away. It was stupid of me to talk to my dad. Everything was becoming so overwhelming and I couldn’t hold it all in anymore. Tears began to well up in my eyes and my mind started to race in so many different directions, going over all of the regrets that I had in my life. I started to sob, shaking in Andy’s arms as I tried to stay as silent as possible to not wake him. My hands gripped onto the blankets and I shoved my face in them, finding it harder to breathe this way but it kept everything silent.
The major thought that kept on entering my mind was how I wanted Andy to wake up and comfort me and kiss and tell me everything would be ok. I wanted Andy to tell me he loved me and to hug me so tightly until every broken pieces were squeezed back together.
I let go off the blankets and instead began to hold onto Andy, not caring if I woke him. I snaked my arms around his chest, holding him tightly and started to sob again. Although I kept them quiet, I felt Andy start to sturr in his sleep.
“(NAME)? What’s the matter?” He asked and began to sit up.
“Oh my god, Andy. I’m so so sorry! I-I didn’t want any of this to happen. I didn’t want to hurt you. I didn’t want to screw up our relationship in any way and I did. I-I just want you to love me like you loved me before. I just want to be happy with you again…” I said sloppily, not looking into his eyes in fear of his expression.
“(NAME), I do love you...So don’t think that I don’t…” He whispered softly in his sleepy voice. Thats when I finally looked up at him. He was staring down at me like I expected. But I couldn’t help but become happier at the amount of comfort in his eyes. “You might not see it...but I love you so much...I hated being away from you all that time while you dated Kevin. It was so difficult not being able to kiss you or hug you. And I’m sorry about bringing some girls around now and then. You shouldn’t be the one apologizing about all of this. It should be me. And I don’t even expect you to forgive me but. I’m so, so sorry, (NAME).” Andy said.
I gave him a small smile before leaning up and pecking his lips. I pulled the covers up to cover both of us and nuzzled into his nest. closing my eyes and trying to calm myself.
“I love you, Andy.” I said.
“I love you, too.”

Notes

kinda wanna eat kinda wanna sleep kinda wanna die kinda wanna blog

idk anymore