The Devil's My Teacher
PROLOGUE: The Dragonfly
ANDY'S P.O.V
"My White Rabbit, I will love you forever." "And I will love you, my darling Dragonfly, for as long as I shall live."
I bolted upright, the blankets on the bed covering my shivering frame. Juliet, how I missed my Dragonfly, we gave each other the world, the moon and the stars and yet it wasn't enough to keep her next to me.
The guys had spent weeks trying to get me to go to shows, to eat, to actually live like an ordinary human, but to no avail. I was a wreck.
I had spent nearly four years surrounded by her warm, loving nature and just like every other incredible thing that had ever happened to me, minus the band, it was torn away in an instant. Furthermore, the days were gone where I held her when the world tore her down, the days we played with Crowbear and Femme Baby until the sun went down as well as every moment that made me feel alive, gone just like her.
"Every inch,
every mile,
reminded me,
of the vacancy next to me
where you used to be,
how could I say goodbye?"
Her voice echoed through my head, I had that one song on replay since she died. It was exactly how I felt. I knew it was asinine, I knew it probably something I shouldn't do, but the veracity of the situation meant that it was the thing that I could comprehend in this state of mind.
"And its hard to see,
Hard to breathe,
Hard to believe,
That I took a wrong turn and it took you away from me"
I had my notebook lying abandoned on the foot of bed from the numerous occasions I tried to write about her, but they only came up with a few phrases, a verse or a chorus. By the time I came around to editing one, it had started to sound a bit like this:
"Blaming myself,
Tied to these chains,
Living in pain,
All of your tears,
Everything's gone,
Is it too late?
Walk away."
Ashley had seen that one and demanded I kept working on songs like it, so I did. Days flew by as did more and more lyrics, each to a new song, a new beat, a new sound. Before I knew it, we were in the studio recording a self-titled album with eleven tracks and a bonus track (Sons Of The Night) if you brought the album from Best Buy. Every interview we had, we stated that this would be the album going back to our roots, the heavier record, the more personal album and it was.
Two tracks off the album were inspired by Juliet passing; Goodbye Agony and Walk Away, I've been told you can hear the pain and longing in my voice. I still can't believe she's gone, but there's no point in dwelling on the past ... Right?
Wrong. I couldn't stop dwelling on the past, that moment was permanently stuck in my mind. The moment she died, the moment I lost my baby.
We were on our way to San Francisco for another concert of the Black Mass Tour, the last one she'd be with me on, when a truck flipped in front of us. It came rolling back towards us and hit our car at full force, she died instantly. I screamed her name, bashed my fists on the steering wheel while I still had a small amount of consciousness, she couldn't go, it wasn't her time. I managed to survive with a few injuries; a broken arm, four more broken ribs and a pretty severe concussion. It should have been me not her.
My voice was beyond raw for days all because I screamed her name in my sleep, my heart screamed for her, but she never showed up. I spent days in hospital, every waking moment I spent planning her funeral and how to tell her fans that the All Or Nothing EP would never be released ... Unless I released it myself. It was a mess and a mess that I could never fix.
The guys suggested that I take up another job to ease the stress as much as I could, so I did.
I decided nothing would be better than to stuck to music and become a music teacher at an arts school in Ohio. It's not School For Creative and Performing Arts in Cincinnati though, I actually ended up in Columbus. The amount of passion the students have for music is overwhelming, they remind me so much of a younger version of myself.
Armstrong Academy, ColumbusOH.
One of the best Creative Arts schools in Ohio ... scratch that, one of the best Performing And Creative Arts schools in America.
"My White Rabbit, I will love you forever." "And I will love you, my darling Dragonfly, for as long as I shall live."
I bolted upright, the blankets on the bed covering my shivering frame. Juliet, how I missed my Dragonfly, we gave each other the world, the moon and the stars and yet it wasn't enough to keep her next to me.
The guys had spent weeks trying to get me to go to shows, to eat, to actually live like an ordinary human, but to no avail. I was a wreck.
I had spent nearly four years surrounded by her warm, loving nature and just like every other incredible thing that had ever happened to me, minus the band, it was torn away in an instant. Furthermore, the days were gone where I held her when the world tore her down, the days we played with Crowbear and Femme Baby until the sun went down as well as every moment that made me feel alive, gone just like her.
"Every inch,
every mile,
reminded me,
of the vacancy next to me
where you used to be,
how could I say goodbye?"
Her voice echoed through my head, I had that one song on replay since she died. It was exactly how I felt. I knew it was asinine, I knew it probably something I shouldn't do, but the veracity of the situation meant that it was the thing that I could comprehend in this state of mind.
"And its hard to see,
Hard to breathe,
Hard to believe,
That I took a wrong turn and it took you away from me"
I had my notebook lying abandoned on the foot of bed from the numerous occasions I tried to write about her, but they only came up with a few phrases, a verse or a chorus. By the time I came around to editing one, it had started to sound a bit like this:
"Blaming myself,
Tied to these chains,
Living in pain,
All of your tears,
Everything's gone,
Is it too late?
Walk away."
Ashley had seen that one and demanded I kept working on songs like it, so I did. Days flew by as did more and more lyrics, each to a new song, a new beat, a new sound. Before I knew it, we were in the studio recording a self-titled album with eleven tracks and a bonus track (Sons Of The Night) if you brought the album from Best Buy. Every interview we had, we stated that this would be the album going back to our roots, the heavier record, the more personal album and it was.
Two tracks off the album were inspired by Juliet passing; Goodbye Agony and Walk Away, I've been told you can hear the pain and longing in my voice. I still can't believe she's gone, but there's no point in dwelling on the past ... Right?
Wrong. I couldn't stop dwelling on the past, that moment was permanently stuck in my mind. The moment she died, the moment I lost my baby.
We were on our way to San Francisco for another concert of the Black Mass Tour, the last one she'd be with me on, when a truck flipped in front of us. It came rolling back towards us and hit our car at full force, she died instantly. I screamed her name, bashed my fists on the steering wheel while I still had a small amount of consciousness, she couldn't go, it wasn't her time. I managed to survive with a few injuries; a broken arm, four more broken ribs and a pretty severe concussion. It should have been me not her.
My voice was beyond raw for days all because I screamed her name in my sleep, my heart screamed for her, but she never showed up. I spent days in hospital, every waking moment I spent planning her funeral and how to tell her fans that the All Or Nothing EP would never be released ... Unless I released it myself. It was a mess and a mess that I could never fix.
The guys suggested that I take up another job to ease the stress as much as I could, so I did.
I decided nothing would be better than to stuck to music and become a music teacher at an arts school in Ohio. It's not School For Creative and Performing Arts in Cincinnati though, I actually ended up in Columbus. The amount of passion the students have for music is overwhelming, they remind me so much of a younger version of myself.
Armstrong Academy, ColumbusOH.
One of the best Creative Arts schools in Ohio ... scratch that, one of the best Performing And Creative Arts schools in America.
Notes
Okay so I'm not new to fanfic. I was originally @simmsxx.
Anyway, back on track I hope you enjoy this fanfic because without you enjoying it, I wouldn't be as keen to upload stories for you.
If you want a little more insight into me and this story. I'm on wattpad.
>http://www.wattpad.com/user/Biersackers<<br>
Love ya xx
- Janelle
Songs quoted:
1. A Heart Doesn't Beat On It's Own - Juliet Simms
2. Walk Away - Black Veil Brides
