Unsung Heroes

Ch. 6 Hangovers and Confessions
I hate sunlight. And noise. And food. But ESPECIALLY alcohol. Oh alcohol, you beautiful sin. How I lovingly despise you.
I was pressed into something warm, smooth, and hard that smelt like cologne, sweat, booze, and cigarettes... What? I opened my eyes slowly to find myself staring into the hollow of someone's neck. I was snuggled on someone's chest, their arm around me protectively. I could see tattoos on the arms... Was that a woman on his arm...? Oh my god.
I peeled myself off and stared down to see Ashley sleeping soundly under me, naked as the day he was born (not that I wasn't). His black hair was fanned out on the pillow under him and his chest rising and falling slowly. I pulled away from him, taking a sheet with me to wrap around my middle and I sat at the edge of my bed. I put my head in my hands and struggled not to have an anxiety attack right there.
Breathe... Breathe... It's okay, you were both drunk, it was a mistake, he'll leave when he wakes up... Breathe
"Indy?"
Aw, fuck.
I looked over my shoulder to see Ashley was sitting up and staring at me. His hair was all fucked up from sleep and sex and he was holding his head with one of his hands. He looked around, confused before realization seemed to dawn on him.
"Did we...?"
I nodded, not willing to open my mouth for fear of what might come out. Ashley sat up and rubbed his head.
"How drunk were we last night?"
"Very." My voice was hoarse and shaking.
Ashley looked at me. "I barely remember anything... Was it any good?"
I shrugged. "Even if I remembered, I don't have enough experience to know the difference."
"Wait, what?" He looked very scared all of a sudden.
"You heard me."
Ashley turned bright red. "Fuck. I am so sorry, Indy. If I had known..." I knew it; it was just a quick fuck.
I waved my hand in his direction. "Just... Don't. Please." I stood up and walked briskly to the bathroom, where I stood staring at myself for about three minutes.
"Indy?" He was suddenly behind me, wearing his underwear. "Are you okay?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. I just gave myself to someone I barely know when I couldn't even do that with someone I dated for five years without having a panic attack."
His eyes widened and he turned me to him. "Would you like me to leave? I can do that, as much as I don't want to."
I nodded again and leaned up to kiss him gently. "I don't remember much, but I do remember enjoying it. Thank you for that, Ashley. But I would really like it if you left. I can call a cab or..."
He shook his head. "I'll walk, it's fine." He kissed my cheek and then turned and walked out of the bathroom. I heard him walk into the front room and lots of fabric on fabric sounds as he got dressed, and then I heard the door open and close. That was when I let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding.
I collapsed onto the toilet and buried my face into my hands and burst into tears. What have I done? I just ruined everything going good for me: no job, no relationship, no nothing I could do at this point. I wiped my eyes and blew my nose with toilet paper.
Letting the sheet fall off me I reached into the shower to turn it on, stepping under the hot spray and just standing there, letting the water soak into my skin.
I stood there for about five minutes, letting all traces of last night wash off of me.
Why did I do that? I got into TWO fights, lost my job, got drunk and lost my virginity all in the same day. That had to be some kind of record.
After my shower I pulled on sweats and a Metallica band shirt. I grabbed my phone to see I had five texts and three missed calls from Angel. Good, I needed to talk to someone. Pressing redial and putting her on speaker so I could make tea and talk to her at the same time.
"Indigo Graham, have you lost your fucking mind?!"
"Hi Angel." Where's my damn mug?
"Angels just told me what happened, Indy. What the fuck were you thinking?! How are you gonna pay rent?!"
"Save it, Angel, I already feel like shit I don't need you adding to that."
"What did you do?" "Um... I kind of... Um... Got really really drunk and.... HadsexwithAshleyPurdyfromblackveilbrides," burying my face into my coffee I waited for the inevitable.
"..."
"Angel? Please say something."
"What?"
"Angel I-"
"I'm coming over."
Oh fuck me - no please don't.
"I'll be right there just sit right."
“Angel, that’s not”—
“Save it, girl. I’m already in my car.” She hung up before I could retaliate.
Groaning, I threw my suddenly unappealing coffee down the drain and went over to my couch. As I was about to lay down, I saw my bra, shirt, and pants and shoes from last night. I kicked them off the couch and down to my room and stuffed them into my hamper. THEN I went and threw myself facedown into the couch.
What the fuck was I thinking? Here I was, HOURS after discovering my first love had been unfaithful, only a couple hours after beating the whore who slept with him up and losing my job, losing my VIRGINITY – which I didn’t even know was possible with my anxiety – to a man I met THAT DAY. God, what was I thinking? Was I thinking? Yeah fucking right. I was so drunk last night that I’m surprised I remembered my own NAME this morning, let alone that I fucked Ashley Purdy.
I sat up. Oh my god. I slept with Ashley. Fucking. Purdy!!! At that moment, there was a loud knock on my door, startling me and almost making me fall off the couch. Brushing my pants with my palms, I fast walked to the door and I’d barely turned the knob before Angel came bursting in, wearing a sparkly QUEEN band shirt, ripped black leggings, and heeled shoes and her blue hair held back in a bun.
“Where’s the fire?” I laughed slightly as she bustled into my kitchen and started rummaging my pantry.
“You are, honey,” she said pointedly. “I’m not the one fucking musicians.” I cringed. “Yeah…” I sighed. She pulled out the tomato sauce and the vodka from my pantry. “So,” she said, getting the lemons and Worcester sauce and horseradish. “You gonna tell me what happened, or do I have to get you even more drunk that you got last night?” Angel unfortunately, even though she is very shy, doesn’t have much of a filter or a way of phrasing things nicely.
“Well,” I sat at the counter. “Yesterday, after the text you sent me, I went to that little coffee shop down by Mark’s. When I was parking my bike, this big, sexist weirdo came up to me and started giving me shit about being a biker and basically called me a hooker. I punched him and he went to hit me and Ashley Purdy came out of fucking NOWHERE and stopped him. Then he made me let him buy me coffee. We literally spent HOURS in that shop talking about random shit and he listened to me yell at Mitch over the phone in Portuguese, and then we exchanged numbers and went on our merry way. After I lost my job” – Angel glared at me when I said that – “I called him and agreed to meet him at Garth’s. I got dressed up, met up with him, we got drunk, I brought him home, mainly to drink more, and then the next thing I know, we’re fucking like rabbits in my room.” I took a sip from the Bloody Mary she pushed in front of me. Oooh that felt good on my aching head. “When we woke up, both of us barely remembered last night, though I remember most of it now. He got all weird when I mentioned I was a virgin and up until last night had panic attacks every time I tried to have sex, and then he left.” I shrugged.
Angel pursued her lips. “Did he leave on his own, or did you tell him to leave?”
I gritted my teeth. “Sort of both. He offered, and I agreed. He left like an hour ago.”
Angel shook her head. “Girl, you can’t be going around and acting like a fucking maniac! You’ll end up somewhere you won’t be able to pull yourself from!”
Putting my head down on the table, I moaned in pain. “Yeah, I realized that, Ange, especially after the look he gave me this morning. What do I do now? I mean, the guy has my number and knows where I live now. Do you think he’ll try anything, or am I just another notch on his bedpost?”
Angel shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t fucking know. He’s a rockstar, Indy. Rockstars don’t do small town chicks. And he likes blonde chicks with big tits and no brains. Plus, he doesn’t do attachment. So you just drunkenly gave yourself basically to the weirdo rockstar mommy and daddy tell you about when they’re afraid you’re gonna become a Satanist to sway you from listening to metal music and getting tats and dying your hair.” She paused suddenly. “Wait, you DIDN’T have a panic attack?” Nodding, I shakily ran my fingers through my still damp hair. “Yup. Maybe it was the alcohol, or…”
Angel shook her head. “No fucking way, Indy. There were more than enough times when you and Mitch got more than tipsy and started fooling around. You would always freak out, no matter how wasted you were.”
Sitting up, I stared at her in disbelief. “Then why the fuck was I more than willing to spread my legs for a guy I’d met only a few hours prior?”
She shrugged. “Maybe it’s destiny or some shit, like your body telling you that you had to keep waiting for the right guy before you fucked anyone.”
I stood up and walked around the counter to the fridge and pulled out the carton of orange juice. “Either way, I don’t think that’s a relationship that’ll ever happen. Like you said, rockstars don’t do small town chicks.”

Notes

I somehow found more time to post this, which means i'm the only one awak right now XP enjoy!