Login with:

Facebook

Twitter

Tumblr

Google

Yahoo

Aol.

Mibba

Your info will not be visible on the site. After logging in for the first time you'll be able to choose your display name.

Unsung Heroes

Ch. 42 Part 2 Overcoming Insecurities

My body felt like it was burning. I was sprawled across my bed, my hands straining against the bonds Ash had wrapped around them, my eyes covered with a blindfold, and I was sweating profusely, anticipating whatever he could possibly have in store for me. I could feel every nerve in my body tingling.
I felt his body weight leave the bed briefly, and heard the light sounds of fabric being dropped to the floor, knowing he was taking his clothes off.
I flexed my arms, feeling the fabric of my restraint straining against my wrists, feeling that while they were secure, they were not so tight that I couldn’t escape, nor would they hurt me. I could hear the faint creak of the headboard when I moved.
When the weight of Ash’s body returned to the bed, it wasn’t just on one side of it, it was on either side of my waist. His hands rested gently on my shoulders, and then he lightly grazed his nails down over my chest, over my nipples, and down my stomach. It tingled my skin and I moved up into his hands. I could feel the skin of his inner thighs against my legs.
It wasn’t just the first time for Ash and me to play this way, but it was the first time I was exploring this side of myself. I had been interested in trying out this stuff for a while, even while I was with Him. But I never brought it up because that just meant getting nervous and having another panic attack.
I licked my lower lip, dry and chapped.
“Indy…” Ash said slowly, running his nails lightly along my ribs. “How far do you want to go?”
I hesitated at his sudden seriousness. “Draw blood, bruise me, or put your hands on my throat, and I’m kicking you in your fun parts.”
He chuckled. “Noted. So, if I did this –“ he suddenly ran a nail over my left nipple, and pinched it lightly, sending a shiver down my spine. “How would that make you feel?”
I gasped and arched up into his touch. “Ash,” I said breathlessly. “Do that again.”
Ash hmphed once, and his hands disappeared. “You’re not the one in charge, here, Indigo.” His tone was firm and authoritative. “I will decide what you get, when you get it.”
His body weight disappeared, and I felt his fingers at the ties on my right hand. “Don’t move a muscle.”
Even when the tie was undone, my arm stayed in place, the muscle straining. He grabbed my wrists and brought them over my head and together, cuffing them together and dropping them on the bed, giving me a small reprise.
“Don’t you dare move until I tell you too.”
I felt my body go incredible still, and even my breathing slowed, the rising of my chest with every breath so slight.
I felt his large, callused hands grab my right foot, and rest it up and away from my body. I felt very exposed suddenly, aware of my scars and stretch marks on my thighs. I’d purchased creams and topical medicines to try and combat them, but nothing seemed to make them go away. And the scars around my vagina from having Nicolas never seemed to disappear. Ash often referred to them as my battle scars from going through an ordeal. But I didn’t know if I would ever see them that way.
He grabbed my other ankle, and started to move my leg, but paused when he realized that thanks to my inner thoughts and vulnerability at have my scars on display, my muscles had tensed up and I was very stiff.
“Indy,” he started. “Stop doing that. This is about me showing you that I don’t see you that way, remember? I love your scars, especially the ones that show that you carried our son for eight months.”
He massaged my foot, then my calf, and moved to my thigh, forcing my leg to move and spread open, exposing myself completely to him.
Suddenly, his mouth took the place of his hands, and I could feel him kissing my stretch marks. My skin had become loose after having the baby, and I’d been going to the gym and dance studio as often as I could so that I could tone back up and so that the skin would tighten back up.
He kissed the stretch marks on my stomach, loving every inch. The skin felt sensitive, and it took everything in me not to squirm.
I suddenly felt his finger touch the scar near my opening, and it felt so sensitive that I involuntarily gasped and thrust into his touch. I felt him smile against my skin.
“I think I found a new weakness, doll,” he smirked. I trembled when he called me that. He seldom called me that, only if he was in an especially good mood or was really proud of himself for something. Like when he sold off a lot of items from his fashion line all at once or if he got Nicolas to do something he thought was a big achievement, but at three, nearly four months old, the most fascinating things to Nicolas were Ash’s hair, my boobs, and Ash’s hair.
“Ash,” I gasped out. “Please.”
I felt Ash’s nails drag across my thighs. “I think I like you this way,” he murmured against my skin. “Tied up and begging me to stop teasing you.”
I felt his fingers play with my opening, before one slipped inside. It burned a bit, and I winced. The finger retracted almost immediately, and Ash was at my side.
“Indy?” He said quietly. “I am willing to wait longer if you need more time to heal. I know that hurt.”
I shook my head. “Just go easy on me and maybe… maybe use the lube.” After we left the hospital, the doctor told us that when we started having sex again to use a lube to make the transition back into sex easier for me.
Ash kissed the corner of my mouth, and his weight vanished from the bed, again.
When he came back, he went back to his original spot between my legs. I heard him open the cap to the bottle of lube, and felt a cold, wet finger play with me, sending a shiver down my spine and into my core.
“Is that better?” he asked quietly, his voice throaty.
I nodded, suddenly finding my voice gone as the finger slipped in. It stung slightly, but not enough for me to pull away or stop.
He started to curl the finger within me, and then slipped a second one in and started to gently spread. That made me wince slightly, and then when Ash stopped, I threatened to knee him, so he kept going.
By the time he was done prepping me, I was a panting, writhing mess and I couldn’t take it anymore. I was gasping and sweat was beading down my face and back.
“Indy?” His voice was throaty. “Now is the time to back out but just so you know I’ve never been this aroused before and if you do decide this is as far as you want to go, my balls may implode.”
I fought the urge to laugh. “I’m okay, just… go easy on me.”
Ash picked up my legs from under my knees and rested them around his hips. I felt him against my opening, and he tentatively started to push forward. It almost immediately burned, and to keep from crying out, I bit my lip, hard.
Ash stopped moving. “Indy, I’m hurting you, aren’t I?”
I shook my head. “We knew this would happen, Ash. Keep going, we need to do this now.”
He lowered my legs onto his thighs, and I felt him lean forward to cover me, and he was suddenly kissing me.
“Deep breath, babe,” he said.
As soon as I followed instruction, Ash suddenly thrust forward, kissing me hard simultaneously, and a sharp pain wrenched through me. It was almost like losing my virginity, again.
I cried out into Ash’s mouth, and he put his hands on my hips, rubbing with his thumbs. He was tense, clearly waiting to give me as much time as I needed to adjust.
“Ash?” I gasped. “Please… uncuff me. I need to touch you.”
I felt Ash reach over my head, and he grabbed one of my wrists, uncuffing it, but holding it in place. I felt him unloop the chain, and then he reattached my wrists. He looked my arms over his neck and slid his arms under me. Suddenly he lifted me upward and onto his lap, causing me to sink down further and I let out another yelp.
Ash kept one arm around me and used the other to pull the blindfold off of my eyes. My eyes adjusted to the darkness in the room, and I was practically nose to nose with Ash. I rocked tentatively against him, wincing a little when the pain flared up a bit. Ash wrapped his arms around my waist tightly and started to kiss down my neck to my chest and moved upward into me.
We settled into a rhythm of slowly rocking with me in his lap, my legs wrapped his waist. It stayed slow because of how tight my inner muscles were, and I tightened my legs around his middle, and grasped my arms around his shoulders.
I mouthed kisses along his neck and grabbed the hair at the back of his head. Yanking him back up to me, I pressed my mouth against his, hard, shoving my tongue into his mouth.
I felt his hand come up my neck and grab at the hair on the back of my head. He tugged, separating our lips and started to bite and suck my neck and under my chin, forcing my head back.
I couldn’t stop the loud moan that exploded from my lips.
“Ash…” I whispered. “Por favor, não pare.
Ash groaned against my throat.
Without much warning, Ash had flipped me around and pulled me up on my knees, him behind me.
Lowering himself over my back, he bit down on the joint of my neck and shoulders with a growl.
“Keep talking like that and you’re never gonna leave this room again.”
We kept at it for so long that any residual pain I would have had was long gone. By the time we were done, we were a sweaty, exhausted pile of limbs. We were both breathing heavily, tangled together on the mattress, duvet and sheets somewhere else in the room.
I was laying facing the wrong way on the bed with my head hanging off the edge. Ash was laying on his stomach next to me, arms hanging off the edge next to me. Both of us were panting heavily.
“Oh my god,” Ash gasped. “I don’t think I can move.”
I groaned. “That goes double for me. I don’t think I will ever be capable of even wiggling my toes until tomorrow.”
Just as I finished talking, Nicolas started crying, loud enough to be heard through both the baby monitor on the nightstand and the wall.
Ash and I moaned simultaneously.
“That kid sure has timing,” Ash muttered.
Whining slightly, I forced my body, heavy like cement, to roll over onto my side to push myself into a sitting position. I could feel new aches settling into my body, especially in my crotch. My chest felt heavy; I had to breastfeed Nicolas and do it soon.
I stood up enough to put my underwear on and almost slumped back onto the bed.
Ash nudged me to keep from falling back over.
“Nuh uh,” he mumbled. “My boy’s hungry and needs his mama.”
I rolled my eyes at him and forced myself up and stumbled out of the room to go to Nic’s room.
Nicolas was sitting up in his crib, holding his blankie to his mouth and his face was red and blotchy. Tears rolled out of his eyes and dribbled over his chubby cheeks. His dark hair was mussed and sticking everywhere.
Good evening, sweetheart,” I whispered in Portuguese. “Thank you for waiting until after mommy and daddy were done before waking up.”
I picked him up and gently pulled his blanket from his mouth to throw over my shoulder. He mushed his face into my shoulder and continued to cry against me.
I moved to sit in the rocking chair and maneuvered Nicolas to cradle him to my chest to feed him. He latched on almost immediately and started to suckle so hard that I winced in pain.
“Easy there, kid. I like having those attached to my boobs, thank you.” I ran my fingers through his hair to smooth down his brown tresses, trying to smooth down his bedhead.
I started to gently rock back and forth in the chair, humming a lullaby under my breath. Nicolas’s eyes slid half-way shut and he slowed slightly in his suckling. Aw, he’s milk drunk.
I giggled under my breath. “Are you milk drunk, precious?” I cooed.
“Eh?”
I jumped slightly and looked up to see Ash leaning against the door jam in his boxer briefs.
I grinned and motioned him over. “Come look at Nicolas, he’s milk drunk.”
Ash looked slightly confused but walked over to crouch down and look over my arm to look at Nicolas’s face. He started chuckling under his breath.
“He’s already taking after me,” he whispered proudly. “Already a breast man.”
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t know how comfortable I am with you talking about our infant son’s sexual preferences now, or ever.”
He sighed. “Yeah, sorry.”
I turned my attention back to Nicolas when it started to feel like he was pulling on air. I very carefully pulled him away from my chest to flip him around and allowed him to search for and latch onto my other nipped to keep nursing.
“Are you feeling better about yourself, at all?” Ash asked quietly.
I looked at him. “A little, I guess. I’m still adjusting, but at least we got past the worst of it. I mean, it’s still supposed to hurt at least a little bit, but the worst time has passed.”
Ash nodded in agreement. “Yeah, at least now we can actually get back to where we were before you had Nic.”
I watched Nicolas as his nursing slowed, and his eyes, already half-shut, closed completely. Soon, his mouth came detached from my nipple and he started to wriggle around against me, his noise scrunched up as he struggled to burp.
“I got it,” Ash said taking Nicolas from me and grabbing a burp cloth from the changing table. He carefully leaned Nicolas against his arm and started to sharply tap him on his back with his fingers. He kept doing this until Nicolas’s tiny body jumped as a tiny, sharp sounding burp escaped his mouth.
“Any spit-up?” I stood up and grabbed a baby wipe from the changing table to wipe my chest.
Ash looked over his shoulder at Nicolas’s face. “Doesn’t look like it – oh wait, there it is.”
I laughed softly as Ash massaged Nicolas’s back to help release whatever else he needed to let out, wrinkling his nose slightly.
“Is it all at least on the burp cloth?” I walked around behind him to see Nic’s face hanging over Ash’s shoulder, milky spit-up dribbling off his chin and thankfully was all on the burp cloth.
“I’ll pull the cloth, you clean up Nicolas,” I whispered maneuvering the gross fabric from underneath my son’s chin as Ash gently eased him up and carried him over to the changing table, holding him upright so he could clean the mess off of his face.
I took the cloth and brought it to the laundry room, quickly spraying it with stain remover and throwing it into the wash for later.
By the time I walked back to the nursery, Ash had changed my baby into a new onesie that had blue and white striped on it and was in the process of getting him to settle back down into his crib, blanket tucked around his middle and made sure that none of his blankets or pillows would suffocate him if he turned over in his sleep.
Nicolas did not take to no longer being in Daddy’s arms well. His face immediately scrunched up as he started to build into fit.
Almost immediately, Ash hunkered down over him and started to rub his belly in circles. He continued to get louder and louder.
As amusing as it was, I decided to help him out and walked over to the dresser and grabbed one of his pacifiers. We didn’t really like to give them to him as we didn’t want them to become a crutch or warp his mouth. But desperate times call for desperate measures.
I gently brushed Ash aside and knelt over my baby boy. He was starting to kick his legs up, so I gently slipped the dummy between his lips. He started to settle almost immediately, sucking the pacifier to his heart’s content. He relaxed into the bed and stopped fussing.
Ash groaned. “He’s not gonna start depending on those, is he? I don’t want him to turn into one of those four-year-olds who can’t give them up and end up on nanny shows.”
I laughed quietly. “Well, unless you wanted to sleep in the crib with him, it’ll do for tonight. Don’t worry, he won’t rely on those if I have anything to say about it.”
We left the room as quietly as we could, shutting the door gently behind us.
“You’re still topless,” Ash commented, standing in front of me and eyeing my chest.
I rolled my eyes. “I could say the same thing about you, dude.”
Ash wrapped his arms around my middle. “You up for another round?” He murmured into my ear. “We can go as slow or fast as you want.”
I smiled and wrapped my arms around him. “As fun as that sounds, you have a studio session with the guys tomorrow and I have to go to the dance studio pretty early tomorrow morning.”
Ash chuckled. “We’re parents. Who allowed me to have a child?”
I laughed. “Well for what it’s worth, you’re a great dad. That kid can’t get enough of you.”
He snorted. “Nah, he’s a total mama’s boy. Kid gets so freaked out when you leave the room.”
“How about we just agree he loves us both and go to bed happy that he’s happy, healthy and loved?” I placated.
Ash laughed and swung me in his arms bridal style. “Sounds good babe. I love you.”
I smiled. “I love you, too.”
He started walking us back to the bedroom, and then paused. A serious look came over his face all of a sudden.
“Something wrong?” I asked.
He looked at me.
“Let’s get married. Soon.”

Notes

Hello everyone!
Oh my god it's been forever since I posted!
I am really sorry that happened, but I have good reason:
I moved!
I moved out of my parent's house and now I live in Oregon, going to school. It's taken me a minute to get settled into living here on my own and out of state from where I grew up. I had serious writer's block for a long time, and I have been extremely busy.
I knew that when I finally uploaded a new chapter, though, it had to be worth it. So here is a very smutty chapter for your pleasure!
Also Ash being a dad, which I can't ever picture him actually doing, but I thought it was a cute idea.
I will try to post more, but it's going to be extremely difficult with school, right now.
Thanks for sticking around!
Don't forget to rate, comment and subscribe!

Black Iris

Comments

@Red Phoenix77
I write it out on Microsoft word and then copy and paste. Usually if I type it out directly it lags and refuses to let me edit it. When I write it out and copy and past, it shows paragraph breaks. Maybe it reads differently on other computers or something, but I have always been able to distinguish the paragraphs with my computer.

BlackIris BlackIris
11/12/18

I don't know how it would work on a phone, but I figured out on my computer that I have to click the Enter key twice at the end of a paragraph to get it to space, because just indenting doesn't work on here.

Red Phoenix77 Red Phoenix77
11/11/18

@BlackIris
Im reading on my phone and there are no spaces between each of the paragraphs. It might justf be my phone

@BlackVeilFireGirl99
Thanks. I don't know what medium you're using to read my story, but on my computer it shows separate paragraphs. I don't indent as it takes forever to do and doesn't always read. This site doesn't always like to allow me to edit and upload the way I would in any other scenario.

BlackIris BlackIris
11/1/18

This is a good story but you need to put spaces between the paragraphs otherwise its really hard to read as its just a giant block of text other then that I love the story. Its certainly and interesting read.