When all else fails... fake a smile.

Brooke's POV

I had Katie drop me off at a hotel, a really tall one. One the way over we were talking about anything but what had happened. All the while Leah and the guys kept blowing up my phone. I just sent them to voice mail or didn't replay to their text. I found out that I knew Katie from Ga. She had gone to my school. She had helped one time when I was sick at school.

*Flash Back*

I ran in to the bathroom at school. I felt like I was about to be sick. I had left my stuff in the classroom. I ran in to one of the stalls and threw up. "Ugh goddamn it," I muttered. I had just found out that I was pregnant from one of they guys that liked to rape me.... and I didn't tell anyone. I was kneeling by the toilet when I heard someone walk in. I stood up slowly, straighten my hair and clothes and walked out after flushing to the toilet. Katie was standing there with all of my things. "Here you left them in class and I thought since you ran out not feeling well, I would bring them to ya," she said. I thanked her and took my things. "Boy or girl," she asked. I froze. "I don't know what you mean," I said playing dumb. We stood there just looking at each other. "Well I hope you feel better," Katie said as she walked out. I was left standing there, shaking. I put my hand on my belly, "Don't worry little angle, mommies here."
*End*

Katie was stopped at a red light. "So boy or girl," she asked once again not even looking at me, just the road. I went rigid, "It was a girl." I guess at the sound of "was" it caught her attention. "Oh my gosh I am soo sorry. I didn't mean to...." I held my hand up, "It's ok. But it was a girl. Her name Annie Lee, but I lost her and that's it." I felt pain stabbing me in my heart. I had lost her because of my stupid fucked up father. I put my hand on my empty belly. I felt sorry for her. She didn't have a choice of bing brought in to this fucked up place, or choice to leave.

When Katie dropped me off at the hotel we said our goodbyes. I gave her my number so we could maybe hang out sometime. I walked in to the lobby. It was grand with a big chandler and a sitting area, and happy people about. I smiled at those who were staring at me. I forgot I still had my war paint on from the concert. I quickly walked past all the people and to the stairs. I had to go up 10 flights of them. I was breathless and tired by the time I reached the door I was looking for. "ROOF" was written in bold letters. I looked around to see if there was any alarm system hooked up to it, and surprisingly there wasn't. I pushed open the door with a loud squeak, and came out on the roof. The lights were so pretty up here. I walked to the edge and sat down, my lags hanging over the edge. I took out my phone and seen it was about 1:30. I unlocked it to find I had about 35 new text messages from the boys. Jinxx telling me to come back, Andy saying he was sorry, CC sending a worried faced emojie, Ashley asking where I was. All of the text were all along those lines. "Don't they understand that sometimes that people just need some space," I said to myself. My phone also said that I had 43 missed calls. I sighed in frustration. I pulled up my music app and the first thing to play was Hollywood Undead, "Bullet". I laughed, kinda ironic.

"My legs are dangling off the edge,
The bottom of a bottle is my only friend,
I think I'll slit my wrists again and I'm gone, gone, gone,
My legs are dangling off the edge,
A stomach full of pills didn't work again,
I'll put a bullet in my head and I'm gone, gone, gone.
Gone too far, yeah I'm gone again,
It's gone on too long, tell you how it ends,
I'm sitting on the edge with my 2 best friends,
One's a bottle of pills and one's a bottle of gin,
I'm 20 stories up, yeah I'm up at the top,
I polish off this bottle, now it's pushing me off,
Asphalt to me has never looked so soft,
I bet my momma found my letter, now she's calling the cops,
I gotta take this opportunity before I miss it,
'Cause now I hear the sirens and they're off in the distance,
Believe me when I tell you that I've been persistent,
'Cause I'm more scarred, more scarred than my wrist is,
I've been trying too long with too dull of a knife,
But tonight I made sure that I sharpened it twice,
I never bought a suit before in for my life,
But when you go to meet god, you know you wanna look nice.
So if I survive, then I'll see you tomorrow, yeah I'll see you tomorrow.
My legs are dangling off the edge,
The bottom of a bottle is my only friend,
I think I'll slit my wrists again and I'm gone, gone, gone, gone,
My legs are dangling off the edge,
A stomach full of pills didn't work again,
I'll put a bullet in my head and I'm gone, gone, gone, gone."

Then I was thinking about Andy, I mean how could he claim I am such an important person to him when he barley knows me? Granted he knows of my past, but he has known me not even a week! I could be some crazy ass psycho stocker killer person, that he claims to love. And the same goes for CC and Ashley. All I simply want is to hang out with them, and if I feel like it, maybe have sex. But that all went to shits when they started to claim to "love" me, and "care" about me. They probably just seen a girl with a horrible past, and that hides thing, and wanted to be with her because they felt BAD for her. Well buddy I don't go along with pity dates. I don't NEED a guy to make me feel important. I just need someone else.... I need Leah. At the thought of her, my phone rang. It was her. I let out a little chuckle and answered. "Did you know I was thinking about you?" I asked. I heard a I sigh of relief, "Brooke where are you!? Omg are ok?" I heard a small smile in between the fear. "Yeah I am ok for right now. I just need some time to my self." I started to pull out my last cigarette I had and twirl it in my fingers. "Well where are you I will come get you. The guys are freaking out too." I heard music in the background. "Are you driving," I asked putting the cigarette in my mouth. "Yes," Leah snapped, "shit head MOVE!" I laughed at her anger, and the cigarette fell out of my mouth and fell over the side of the building to the ground below. "Damn it," I whined. "What?! What did you do," Leah asked fearfully. "I dropped my last cigarette." She sighed, "well pick it up." I smiled sadly, "I can't it's 10 stories below me now." There was a pause. "Brooke please tell me you are not on top of building," Leah said carefully. "Nooooo." There was a loud car horn below from the street. "Damn it Brooke! How.... where.....daww hell," Leah couldn't even form a full sentence. "Don't worry, I'm not gonna.....jump," I said thinking of the idea of it. "If you do, I will drag you back up from the pits of hell and bring you back to life, just to kick you ass, got me," she said sounding like a mother. I laughed, seeing that she is the younger one. "Yes mom," I said before hanging up on her. There she knows I am safe. I went to the text messages and sent a group one, including Ashley, Andy, CC, Jinxx, and Leah. "I am fine, just need space. Boys why say you 'love' me and 'care' about me when you don't even know me. You know of my past, and I don't want a pity date/relationship. For all you know I could be a crazy (crazier then what I am) murder. So think about that. if I survive, then I'll see you tomorrow, yeah I'll see you tomorrow." I sent them the text and turned off my interest in the replies. I just sat there looking at the lights, cars, and people still out. I just sat there and thought about everything.

Notes