It Just One Of Those Days.

As the weeks passed by, I had the lowest moments in my life. Sometimes, I didn't care about the two lives that I was carrying. It's been two years? Since Joe Joe died. And I forgot about her. I've been caught up with my own shit, that I forgot my best friend's death anniversary.
What a friend I am.
I put on a beanie over my hair and grabbed my bag before I got outside the house. Matty was out for the evening, and Carry was busy doing I don't know what. I stopped by a flower shop and brought Joanna's favorite flowers.
Orchids and Tulips.
As I drove to her grave spot, my mind filled it self with our memories, our laughs. I stopped the car, turned it off and walked to her spot, the flowers in hand. I put the bouquet of pink tulips in the little cup thing and I put the orchids next to her stone.
"Hey Joe-Joe." I clean the dry leaves that had swept by during the windy days and sat down. "I miss you," I whispered. "I miss you a lot, oh how I could've needed you the last months. It's been so much happening in my life, I don't even know anymore. First of all,vim sorry I forgot, you know, I've been going through so much shit, I couldn't even think properly and think on what's important." I trace her picture. "Can you believe that I'm pregnant? Yeah, and with twins, I just don't know their gender yet, although the woman said it could be a boy and a girl. How amazing is that? Were they up their with you before they became little seeds in me. Are they gonna look like me or like their father? Joanna, if you were here, I'm 100% sure you've told me not to do so many things, like work. I miss you... And to even think that I haven't visited Miguel really kills me. You guys been there since the beginning of everything, and I don't even say thank you or anything. I hate being suffocating with so many things." I spent almost two hours just talking. I needed to rant, and I knew she was listening, I felt it. I wipe her stone once more before I stood up and walked towards my car. I entered the vehicle and looked into the passenger seat. A white paper was Jailey folded with my name written in big letters. I reached for it, and opened it, carefully.

'I know you hate me, and I'm not complaining. I overheard Jake talk to Andy the other time. We need to talk. -Christian.'


I crumbled the paper and threw it out the window. I turned on the car and drove away from that piece of useless paper.
-----------
I was currently staring at the pictures in my Instagram. The pictures of the both of us were almost littering my feed. Even the picture that Ashley sent me the first weeks was in my feed, that photo making it official. Our second to last photo was the one of our first night. He had gotten my phone and I was sleeping with my head on his chest. The flash had gone off, but his hand covered my eyes. His brown eyes were filled with love and everything with it. The comments were all the same .
'So cute.'
'OTP'
'GET MARRIED!'
But nothing compared to the caption he typed. I didn't even know he put this photo, maybe until right now. Ever since I started dating him, all my notifications were muted.

'It's late at night, and she's out cold. She's going to hate me when she sees this, I know she will, but I don't care. But I'll say one thing, I'm the luckiest man in the entire world to have this sleeping beauty by my side. You can't see her eyes, I didn't want to wake her up with the picture, cause I forgot to turn off the flash. I don't think I would ever be the same if this woman left my side. Her laugh, her advice, her smiles everything about her completes me and I don't want that to change. The guys notice the change, I notice my change. She's the jelly to my peanut butter. Sssh, she's sleeping. I'm so tired right now, but I just had to put this out there. I love you Kenny Hara... I promise I will forever.'


"Lies." I whispered. "I hate you... I hate you with all my heart." I pressed the little extra button, but I couldn't find the heart in me to erase this photo. I looked at my gallery and find a selfie that CC had taken with me when we were on our way to a sound check. He was right next to me when he decided to take away my phone and spam people in my snapchat. Just when I updated the photo with the caption

' Do You Not Tell The Truth At All?'


His notification from Twitter showed. I pressed the little message thing and opened the tweet.

'With the rumors that are going around, this tweet will set them down.'

Another notification.

' Kenny and I are just having a rough patch into our relationship, no we haven't broke up, I'm doing everything into getting this relationship to work. Why we are like this, does not concern any of you. This situation is used in my "personal" life. Please keep it that way.'

"FUCK YOU!" I finally yelled and threw my phone, making it hit the soft carpet. A wave of nausea pass through me and I run towards the bathroom just in time to throw it all out. I clean my mouth with the back of my hand and sat on the floor. Tears ran down my face and I hugged myself. His punch kept repeating in my mind, but so did his love words. He was never to abusive one, no.

I just wish I could understand why he dared to hit me.

Notes

What do you think? You like? Rant below or whatever you'd like to do... Please don't break your computer though, and don't waste your tissues. You guys are amazeballs!!

-Kenia