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My Darkest Desire (Ashley Purdy/OC/Andy Biersack)

88. I said I love you as I left you

Ashley's Pov:

I groaned and I reached to touch Nikki but I only felt the coldness of the sheets. I lazily opened my eyes and I cursed the sunlight that was trying to blind me. I rolled on the other side and I looed at the clock. 7:37, why the fuck is Nikki up so early?

Events of yesterday flooded my head and I sighed. Things were good now between us. She forgave me and I forgave her. Nikki was willing to give us another shot and I couldn't be more happy about it. I meant everything I said last night. I was going to see a therapist and deal with my anger issues.

I still felt guilty about that day, when I hit Nikki. Even though, she said she didn't care, I did. I wanted to make things right this time. I was going to take it so damn easy. I was going to prove her just how much I love her. I shook my head, knowing that probably we weren't going to get married after Warped.

I didn't want her to feel like I was pushing her. Even though, I would've marry her right in this damn second. She needed time and whether I liked to admit it or not, so did I. I still had images of her and Chris and I felt my blood boil only thinking about it.

I got out off bed just as a painful headache hit me forcefully. I cursed myself for being so idiot to take cocaine but at least I got what I wanted: I was able to apologize to Nikki and tell her my feelings. Goal achieved. That meant I didn't need that devil's creation anymore. I rubbed the back of my neck and flinched when I felt a pain shot on my arm.

I looked at my bandaged arm and I tensed up,remembering how desperate I felt in the moment I cut myself. Now, I could say that I understood Nikki 100 percent. I knew why she wanted to cut herself. It was all about distracting yourself from the emotional pain using physical one. It was a twisted thing but now it made sense to me.

Although, I knew it for sure that there won't be a second time. The fact that I was a celebrity made it impossible. Not to mention the pain. It was relieving at first but the pain came back a thousand times worse when I got back to the bus last night. I was scared shitless that it might get to the press and worse, the fans and the guys.

I didn't want the fans to feel like I did. There was always another choice. I was dumb enough to do it one time but that's it. Next time this shit happens, I'll drown myself in a bottle of Jack and that's it. No more cutting and no more cocaine!

I opened the door and I was hit by the smell of pancakes. Oh, God! Nikki's in the mood! I smirked to myself. I had to stop my thoughts about fucking her on the counter because I remembered I wanted to take it easy. Although, her face last night was priceless. She didn't want to take it easy but agreed. For me, for us....

"Morning, Ash!" she said cheerfully as she placed the pancakes on a plate.

I stared at her in awe. Her half blonde, half black hair was the cutest mess I've ever seen. She was wearing my shirt, and some shorts that exposed her toned legs. When she turned around, I melted, seeing her smile.

"Morning, Tiger."

I wrapped my arms around her waist from behind and I placed a kiss on her shoulder. She giggled and threw the pan in the sink as she turned around and placed her hands on my cheeks. I looked in her green eyes and I got lost in them. I pulled her closer, enjoying the way her smile widened and I crashed my lips on hers.

She immediately bit my bottom lip, making me open my mouth. Her hands traveled to the back of my neck and I felt her digging her nails softly. I deepened the kiss, my hands running all over her back and hips as she let out a shaky breath. I wanted to stop in that moment, but she pulled me back quickly.

I was helpless and I knew it. She pushed her hips and I felt myself getting even more hard. Her hands started to roam over my abs and I involuntarily picked her up and placed her on the counter. She opened her legs immediately and wrapped them around my waist, pulling me closer.

"Nikki...." I breathed as she started to suck on the sensitive spot on my neck.

She ignored me as she kept driving me insane. I tossed the shirt she was wearing on the floor and I started to roughly massage her breats,making her moan. It was pretty annoying that our bodies had that effect of each other. It still amazed me how she responded to my touch and I still couldn't believe how addicted I was to her.

Her hand slipped in my shorts and I shivered when she wrapped her fingers around my hardened lenght. I was fumbling with her shorts as her mouth found mine again. I moaned into the kiss as she started to stroke me and I knew that I was doomed. I moved to her neck as I finally took her shorts off.

I bit down on her collarbone as she let out a loud moan. She threw her head back, still jerking me off as I took her left nipple in my mouth. I teased her, running my thumb over the inside of her thighs until she growled impatiently. I lifted her legs a little and I wandered my index finger over her slit, amazed by how damp she already was.

I was pissed now. I didn't want to push her but she was pushing me. I bit her lip hard and she gasped, tightening her grip on my lenght. I hissed and I knew that she figured it out what was going on. She just smirked and resumed her moves. She gave me a smirk and I shoved two fingers inside of her, enjoying the way it disappeared, replaced by pure lust.

She threw her head back and screamed in suprise when I scissored my fingers inside of her. It was my turn to smirk when I noticed how pissed she was getting. I was intentionally missing her spot and that drove her insane. I sped up my pace, my gaze locked to hers as she panted heavily.

My legs were getting numb and I could feel myself on the edge when she slowed down. I glared at her and she smiled deviously.

"Two can play this game, Ash." she breathed and I gripped her hip hard.

"So you want it to be like the first night? When I let you undone? 'Cause I can stop too." I said and her eyes widened.

She sped up her pace and I let out a moan, burrying my face in her hair. She wanted to say something but she didn't make it. I finally hit her spot and her moans filled my ears. I just wanted to shove myself inside of her and fuck her till she couldn't walk anymore but I controlled myself.

It wasn't exactly what I meant by taking it easy but Nikki knew how to get what she wanted. Her nails grazed my back and I felt her walls tightening around my fingers. She was still stroking me but her moves became sloppier as her release was close. I started to draw circles with my thumb over her clit as I kept my pace and she let out a piercing scream, coating my fingers as she came.

I thursted a few more times, letting her ride her orgasm as she breathed heavily. As soon as I removed my fingers from her, her moves became more focused and I had to grab the counter to sustain myself. She reached to my hand and sucked clean the fingers that were inside of her just a few seconds ago.

Her gaze never left mine and I almost flipped in that moment. She smirked as she leaned in and kissed me. I could taste her and I grabbed a fistful of her hair as I felt myself getting close. She ran her thumb over my tip and I let out another moan as I grabbed both of her hips hard. I bit down on her collarbone to keep myself from screaming as I came hard all over her hand.

She kept stroking me as her other hand was now caressing my back, calming my shaking body. God, I loved this woman. After I regained my breath, we just stared at each other. She had her cheeks flushed and I probably looked starstruck. She was the first to lean in and kiss me again as she got off of the counter.

She washed her hands and the counter and handed me some paper towels to clean myself. I handed her back my shirt, still smiling like an idiot as she got dressed. She looked at me and my smile grew wider when I saw that she mirrored my expression.

"Dammit, woman! I really wanted to take it easy!" I said wrapping her in my arms again.

"We can take it easy with everything but..."

"Not the sex." I finished and she nodded blushing.

Suddenly, she looked at me and her eyes widened. I gave her a confused look and then I heard her stomach growl.

"How about some cold pancakes?" I asked and she smacked my chest.

"It's your fault that they are cold." she said trying to sound pissed.

"And you're complaining?" I asked smirking as she started eating.

"Wipe that sexy smirk off of your face before I decide to screw all of your "take it easy" shit!" she threatened with her fork.

I laughed and she gave me her million dollar smile. We ate in silence and then she cleaned everything, humming a song.

"We should start hang out with the guys again. I bet everyone is worried." she said thoughtfully.

"I know. They're probably pissed off more,though."

"Well, we kinda brought this to ourselves. I really feel bat about shutting them out." she muttered as she dried her hands.

"Don't worry, Tiger. We're gonna fix this too." I smiled and I kissed her nose.

She smiled back and then we went to get changed. I was thinking about the guys and I realized that we're gonna get the lecture of our lives. Oh, God! We are so screwed!

Notes

Hey guys.... Sorry for the late update.....

So this is slowly comig to an end....I don't know how many chapters I have left but I can tell you that are not many....

Anyway, tell me what you think and let me know if you have any idea for how the things should work out... I would love to hear it...

Love yaaaaaaaaaaa xxxxxxxxxx

Comments

Okay I can't hold back anymore! I just finished chapter 33 and I have to say that me and my best friend (she is 6 years older than me but fuck) also everytime we see each other or text or call we both go "HEY BITCH" or "I LOVE YOU BITCH" or "BYE BITCH" it's fucking hilarious lol this is awesome and btw I can't help but say that there should be just a little something between Nikki and Jake like even if it's just a kiss.

more please!!!!

kaz_bvbarmy kaz_bvbarmy
6/5/17

Mooooooore! Pretty pretty please!

Lucifer Lucifer
5/19/17

I loved it! So much! Brilliant. If you ever have time to finish the last two chapters i'd love to read them. xx

bvb-army bvb-army
5/17/17

Awesome chapter, I personally love some of the things you had her say, my favorite being AND YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S COOKIES!!!"
Haha great chapter can't wait for your update^.*