My Darkest Desire (Ashley Purdy/OC/Andy Biersack)

Nikki's Pov:

"I'm sorry, but who are you?" I asked confused.

He just stared at me petrified and I saw the tears forming in his eyes.

"You-you don't remember me?" He asked desperately, biting his lip.

"I'm sorry but I don't."

"I'm Ashley. I'm your fiancé." He said quietly and I raised an eyebrow.

"I thought I gave you the ring back." I said and I grinned at him.

His confusion disappeared, being replaced by pure relief as he pulled me back against his chest.

"Dammit Nikki! I thought you really forgot about me!" He whispered in my hair.

"It takes more than a fucking frying pan to make me forget about you, dumbass! Where's Andy?" I asked breathing in his scent.

"He left. He was mad at me and told me to call him when you wake up." He said and pulled away.

We stared at each other for a moment that seemed like forever. I missed him so much! His eyes were filled with pain as they wandered over my bandaged arm but I'd rather see them like that than empty.

He tried to stand up but I didn't let him. I grabbed his hand and I looked at him with pleading eyes.

"Forgive me, Nikki!" He whispered and I felt my own eyes burning.

"It doesn't matter. I hit you more than once." I said and he looked at me pissed.

"You're a woman! You can hit me any time you want! I'm not supposed to do that!" He spat angry.

"You were pissed and drunk, Ashley! It was my fault for pushing you like that!" I yelled and I stood up.

"Can you stop blaming yourself for once?! You think that every single fucked up thing that happens is your fault!!!" He yelled back.

"Because it is!"

"No, it's not! I screwed up again this relationship!" He screamed walking back and forth.

"Then fix it!" I screamed, tears spilling from my eyes.

"I slapped you, Nikki! How the fuck am I supposed to fix it?!"

"I don't care about that, idiot! I just want you to snap out of this fucking depression! Scream at me! Slap me again! I don't care! I just want you to talk to me!"

"I am talking to you!" He spat and I saw tears rolling on his cheeks.

"Why did you acted like this?! You know how hard it was for me to see you like this?! Not feeling anything?!"

"I couldn't let it out! I felt like I was dead." He whispered looking down.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you to feel the same."

"But I did! You have no idea how desperate I felt! You shut everyone out, including me! You weren't even touching me! I thought that you don't even love me anymore!" I spat feeling the anger boiling inside of me.

"How can you be so stupid?! That's how you trust me?!" He screamed hurt.

"Don't act hurt! You know that I have trust issues and so do you!"

"But I've never doubted your love, you idiot bitch! If it was one thing that I was sure of that was the fact that you loved me!" He yelled and his voice cracked.

I felt bad in that moment. I've always had my suspicions about him. He was a womanizer after all. But hearing him saying that he always knew I loved him made me feel guilty.


"Then you should've talked to me! You should've told me every shitty feeling you had! You shouldn't have left me like that!"

"I told you I didn't want you to feel bad! You were already blaming yourself! I didn't want to cause you more pain!"

"Don't you get it?! If you're in pain, I'm in pain! I feel you, for fuck's sake! I feel when you're down! I want to ignore it but I can't! I just fucking hate how can you be so blind to see it!" I screamed and I felt my heart breaking down.

We were staring at each other. Both crying, both wanting to scream. Why was our relationship so complicated? Why can't we just find a way to sort things out without fighting? Without hurting each other?

I got in front of him and I placed a hand on his cheek, wiping away his tears. He looked at me and did the same thing as my body trembled just feeling his touch.

"Tell me." I whispered.

"I'm full of anger, Nikki! I just can't understand why do we have to go through so much shit!" He whispered and looked away.

I grabbed his chin and I stared into his chocolate brown eyes. I felt myself getting pissed by his behavior and I tried to control it.

"Let it out." I said deadly.

"I can't!"

I slammed my lips against his own and I almost fainted at the wave of feelings. He immediately grabbed the back of my neck and kissed me back forcefully. My head started to spin badly and I didn't know if it was because of the hit or because of Ashley.

"Nikki... I'm too pissed right now..." He whispered pulling away.

"Me too."

"I don't wanna hurt you."

"Me neither. But I probably will!" I said and I pushed my thigh against his crotch.

He gave me a lustful look and picked me up. He crashed my body on the bed and ripped my shirt off. My breath hitched seeing him like this as I captured his lips in a rough kiss. I heard his shirt cracking as I took it off and I felt his hardened length pressing my lower stomach. He bit my neck hard and I let out a scream, digging my nails in his shoulders.

"Nikki-"

"Don't! I'm not gonna wait anymore!" I spat and I rolled on top of him.

A month without sex was too much for me! Not the sex necessarily but without him. I wanted him. I wanted him in every way possible. I buried my face in the crook of his neck, kissing hungrily his sweet spot as his moans sent shivers down my spine. He quickly unhooked my bra and started to massage my breasts roughly as his mouth found mine again. I undid his belt and I desperately got rid of his jeans and boxers, getting impatient just at the sight of his bare body.

He rolled on top of me again and kissed his way down to my hips as I entangled my fingers in his hair. He took of my shorts and practically ripped my underwear but I was too turned on too argue with him. He moved back too my left breast and sucked it hard as I arched my back, moaning. I was so light headed and I felt like I was floating.

My breath quickened when his mouth went down again and I tried to stop him. I wasn't in the mood for his teasing right now.

"Ashley-"

"Shut up!" He growled and his mouth closed over my clit.

I gripped the sheets hard as his tongue was licking my slit up and down. I couldn't breathe and he knew it but didn't stop anyway. I screamed when he bit my clit and his chuckle sent vibrations through my whole body. I felt holes where my nails where digging and I knew I ripped the sheets when he inserted two fingers inside of me.

I threw my head back, hating how helpless I was in that moment. But I couldn't do anything. I craved a release for so long and he knew it. I was at his mercy right now. He pumped his fingers fast in and out of me as he bit my hip hard. I moaned loudly, incapable of telling if I was in pain or in pleasure. I wasn't going to reach my climax and I knew it. I needed more.

"I can't..." I managed to say between moans.

I felt his mouth sucking my clit harder but it only made me more impatient. I managed to move my right hand and I entangled it in his hair. I pulled him roughly, not giving a flying fuck if I ripped it or not, and I rolled on top of him.

His hands grabbed roughly my butt cheeks and roamed all over my back. I rubbed myself against his length and I pushed my hips up a little. He looked at me as I reached to grab his member, positioning it at my entrance. He violently pushed my hips down and I screamed in ecstasy when I felt completely filled.

I lifted myself back up, almost getting him out and I slammed my hips down again. I fell on his chest not being able to control myself anymore. My lips found his as I managed to pick up a pace. His hands were scratching my back as his hips moved in sync with mine. His breath was shallow and his moans were ringing in my ears as I kissed his neck. I grabbed his shoulders to sustain myself and his lustful look made me even more impatient.

He cupped my left breast as his mouth engulfed my right one, biting it hard and then sucking it gently. For some reason, I felt my eyes filling with tears at how relieved I was. How good it was to be with him again. He saw me and he switched our positions again as he lifted my thighs so he could have better access. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he carelessly slammed himself inside me.

My back arched as I felt his anger fading. He gently kissed my neck where he bit so hard just a while ago. His hands weren't gripping my hips so roughly and his thursts weren't as violently as they were at first. I felt something dripping on my collarbone just as my own tears spilled. He slowed down his pace and I found myself caught in the crushing feeling of making love.

He kissed my lips again, his tongue softly parting them. I caressed his back, feeling the familiar stickiness of blood as his hands roamed over my sides. The gentleness of the moment made me feel so warm and fuzzy that it almost hurt. He pulled away and looked at me with tears in his eyes as our foreheads touched.

"I love you so much, Nikki!" He whispered and I knew he was close.

"I know, I love you too!" I said and I felt the familiar sensation in my stomach.

He moved his head and kissed my collarbone and sped up his pace again. In less than one minute, I came hard, screaming his name in pure ecstasy. He followed me soon and his body collapsed shaking on top of me.

My legs were trembling and I felt sore as fuck but I didn't care. I was breathing hard and I couldn't bring my hands to caress Ashley's hair. He rolled off of me and pulled me against his chest. I happily complied and I wrapped my as around his torso, breathing in his addictive scent. He kissed the top of my head as his heartbeat slowed down.

"Marry me after Warped." He whispered.

"Why?!" I asked surprised.

"Because I love you! And you love me! That's what people do when they love each other." He answered simply.

"A fucking paper it's not gonna prove that, Ashley! Tell me the truth!" I mumbled against his chest.

He sighed and pinned me underneath him. He gently sucked my bottom lip and then stared at me with a deadly glare in his eyes.

"I wanted to rip Chris's head off when he took you out to dinner that night. You're only mine, Nikki, and I want everyone to be aware of that!" He said dangerously.

"Okay..." I whispered kinda scared by the look on his face but glad that he was finally back.

"I'm not gonna let anyone or anything between us anymore! I'm gonna give up at everything if it's necessary!"

"It won't! We can make it! We have each other right? That's all we need." I whispered and I caressed his cheek.

"Yeah." He agreed and kissed my lips again.

Notes

Awww! I think I just did a crappy romantic chapter! Of course it had to be roughness too but bear with me!