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My Darkest Desire (Ashley Purdy/OC/Andy Biersack)

74. So here's my song I wrote in time

Ashley's Pov:

Days kept passing without any events. Since Colleen moved in, nothing changed. At least, not between me and Nikki. However, Nikki changed.

She was like a hurricane these days. Whenever Colleen needed something, she didn't even have to ask because Nikki already took care of it. She and Colleen grew very close and for some reason it kinda scared me. Everyone liked Colleen. They weren't expecting her to be the way she was.

Even though she was a big fan of Black Veil Brides and Risen Demons, I've never seen her fangirling. She was acting perfectly normal around us and it kinda reminded me that Nikki and Kaylie did the same thing.

Jinxx took Colleen under his wing, saying that he has another daughter. With Jake it was easy. Just like him and Nikki, Colleen had an addiction to pizza, making Jake happy that he had now two pizza buddies. CC liked her a lot because of her bitchiness that was sometimes even worse than Nikki's. Andy became like a big brother to her. He made her watch every Batman movie that was ever made and turned her into an addict. He was very excited by his action and called her his Robin.

Colleen and I haven't spoken too much. Nikki told me about her fashion skills and I was pretty impressed when I saw her sketches. I talked to different someones and she will be releasing a dress collection in October. To say that she was excited was an understatement.

One day, I just walked to her and I told her that I am sorry. I knew everything about her from Nikki and I couldn't help but feel like I destroyed her life. She sighed and gave me a small smile. She said that if she learned something from Nikki it was to always see the full side of the glass.

She might've practically lost her parents but she gained friends. She might've lost her job but now she was doing what she always wanted. She might've lost her boyfriend but she didn't care. I knew that she and Chase had a thing and I can say that I was happy for her.

Nikki was like Cupid. It was pissing me off to see her that excited sometimes. She organized all sorts of random "accidental" meetings between them and she was ecstatic every time her plan worked. When Chase finally asked Colleen out, I didn't know who was happier. Colleen or Nikki. I just watched them jumping all around Nikki's living room and I couldn't help but wonder what the fuck was going on in my life.

I'm gonna marry the woman I love but I'm gonna be the father of another woman's child, that was currently dating my future wife's ex boss. Sometimes I really wished I would be normal. Like setting on that damn wash machine. But that's not gonna happen.

Today was going to be a different day. Nikki wanted a change and she said that she, Colleen and Kaylie were going to have a girl's day. She was a little sad by Ella's leaving but she tried to hide it. That meant the guys and I had to get out of the house.

Nikki kissed me just before I was about to exit her room and I almost lost it. Since I proposed, I somehow felt like I loved her even more. Like I wanted her even more. Maybe it was the fear of loosing her but I knew that I couldn't help it.

I felt like it was weird and right at the same time. We were like rabbits these days. Neither of us slept too much but I wasn't feeling tired at all. We were having sex like addicts wherever and whenever we could. The bed already was boring. We had sex everywhere in this house. I didn't even know how we ended up in the guys's rooms but I didn't care anyway.

It was like since Colleen moved in, we were trying to keep our love alive through sex. I didn't know if it was wrong but I wasn't complaining. I was going to marry her. Even though we were already living together and fuck each other up on a daily basis I knew I was never going to get tired of her. It was the other way around.

I wanted her even more with every day that passed. She was the only woman who could make me feel like this. She was my everything. I loved how confident she was. How she kept saying that everything was going to be fine. To see someone that had a hell of a life and that saw death three times, acting like that was amazing. I didn't know how was she capable of having so much strength inside of her. Nothing could stop her.

She wanted me to be more responsible. She wanted me to accept the fact that I was going to be a father. I was trying and she knew it. Sometimes I wondered how the fuck is she so mature. I mean, I'm the one who's thirty years old here! She just turned 21, for God's sake!

"Call me if you want me to pick you up." She whispered as we pulled away.

"We're not gonna fit in the car." I said confused.

"I didn't say it was going to pick everyone up." She answered deviously.

I kissed her once again and she wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me closer.

"I love you."

"I love you too, ms Purdy." I said smirking.

"I swear to God, I'm gonna keep my name." She spat playfully.

"That's not gonna happen. Think about it. You always were a Purdy girl. And now you're gonna be married with the one and only-"

"Stop being so modest, Ashley." She laughed and kissed my cheek.

"I'm being what?" I asked faking confusion.

"That's my point. Now, get out. I love you!" She said and pushed me all the way to the living room.

The guys started laughing at the scene of a 5'7" girl pushing a 5'11" man but I just shrugged while Nikki probably gave them the dead glare because they stopped immediately. I kissed her once again before we left to the game zone.

Nikki's Pov:

As soon as the guys left the house, I walked straight to Kaylie's room but she was in the bathroom. I sighed knowing that the bitch was going to have a long bath and I headed towards Colleen's room.

I accidentally bumped my hip into an armchair and I cursed Ashley again. Well, at least I could walk without being in too much pain.

I knocked on the door but I received no answer. I opened the door and my heart broke when I saw Colleen. She was at her desk with a pen in her left hand and a whiskey glass in her right one. She had her earbuds on and she was crying. I got worried by the fact that she was drinking while she was pregnant but what bothered me the most was her mental state.

Why was she crying? I thought that she was happy here. I thought that things were good between her and Chase. I thought that she was happy about the collection she was going to release in the fall. Why was she down?

I walked towards her and I placed a hand on her shoulder. She looked at me and her eyes were filled with sorrow and guilt as she placed the glass on the desk. She took off her earbuds and wiped away her tears.

"I'm sorry. I just needed to forget about everything for a while." She whispered quietly.

"You shouldn't drink, Colleen."

"I know. But I just-"

She burst into tears again and I wrapped my arms around her sobbing body. My eyes fell on the paper and I stared amazed at the lyrics she just wrote.

"What's this?" I asked and I pointed to the paper.

"It's how I feel. How I feel about Chad. I'm mad, Nikki. I was always there for him and he just...."

She stopped and wanted to rip the paper but I grabbed her hands. I took the paper and I led her to the basement. She looked at me curiously as I sat behind the piano.

"Do you have a music in your head for these lyrics?" I asked and she shook her head.

"Do you mind if I try?"

"It's crappy, Nikki. I don't think-"

"It's amazing. I like it a lot. It's full of feelings." I said and she nodded.

I read the lyrics once again and I tried to imagine the music. My hands started to flow over the claps as I started to sing her song.

(The song is My Immortal by Evanescence because Amy Lee is just awesome)

"I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears..
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave...
Your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone..."

I felt the emotion in the song and my heart filled with sorrow, remembering the bad times I had with Ashley.

"These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase...
When you'd cry, I'd wipe away all of your tears,
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears,
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have... All of me...."

I felt the tears burning my eyes as I saw Colleen staring at me amazed with tears streaming uncontrollably her face.

"You used to captivate me
By your resonating light.
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind..
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me.
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just to real
There's just too much that time cannot erase...."

I sang the chorus again just as Kaylie walked in and looked at us. Colleen didn't notice her as she shakily sat on the carpet still staring at me.

"I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone...
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along..."

My head imagined some guitars playing as I still kept singing at the piano. I was mesmerized by this song. I never knew that something could held so many feels inside it.

"When you'd cry, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears,
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have... All of me..."

My voice cracked at the end and I couldn't hold my tears back anymore. Kaylie helped Colleen to stand up as I hugged her tight.

"What was that?" Kaylie asked amazed.

"That was Colleen's song. She just wrote it." I said wiping away my tears.

"That was amazing!" Kaylie screamed.

"What? Did you hear how she made the music? That was amazing!" Colleen said staring wide eyed at Kaylie.

"Colleen, I want this on our next album. This song is just too good. Do you have any other talents I should know about?" I asked trying to lighten the mood.

"No, I don't! And what do you mean by that?!"

"I mean that under this song your name will be written as a composer of it." I said smiling and she gasped.

"I don't even have a name for it."

"Well, think about it." Kaylie said grinning.

"I... Alone?"

"No, it's sounds average and this is not average."

"Uhm, My immortal?"

"That's perfect!" Kaylie and I screamed at the same time.

"Jesus..." Colleen exclaimed started.

"He's not gonna help you." I said quoting Jake.

We laughed as we exited the basement and we got dressed for our day out. Things were changing fast and time was passing even faster. In three days was Kaylie's birthday and we had less than two weeks before we leave to Warped.

I told Colleen that she will come with us and she was pretty excited. I was still worried about her but I hoped that she will be fine. I mentally cursed myself for forgetting to take her to the doctor's appointment this morning but I'll reschedule.

She was feeling better and she could actually eat without throwing up. We exited the house and I drove excited to my favorite hair salon. Today I was gonna make a change. I was tired of my black hair but not tired enough to get rid of it completely.

I decided that I will keep the bottom black and I will get back to my natural color on the top. Colleen wanted to get rid of her blonde hair and wanted to dye it blue. I chuckled at her pissed off expression but I admired her for the choice. Kaylie decided to dye her red hair with the same blue, turning it in a dark shade of purple.

The result was even better than I expected. I felt like I was still the person I used to be but changed somehow. Colleen looked killer and so did Kaylie. The bitch looked even more scary now when she gives the dead glare.

We did our nails after that and I sighed relieved that no press was after us. My plan worked and everyone bought it. They all thought that this was a prank and Ashley didn't left any fan girl pregnant.

We got home and we decide to have a horror movie marathon. I felt like I just gained a new friend. Colleen was awesome. Right now I didn't care about the fact that she was going to have a child with Ashley. I was just glad that I met her.

I smiled happily to myself knowing that I after all, I was right. Everything is going to be fine.

Notes

Guys I need to ask you something: I have two new stories in my head!

1. A high school story where the main character falls for Ashley.... Pretty much my idea of how the band started

2. A love story between Andy, portrayed as a pharmaceutical magnat and a hooker.

i really don't know which one I should start after I finish this one, becaus Im sorry to tell you but I'm close to the end

Comment and tell me what you think

Love yaaa

Comments

Okay I can't hold back anymore! I just finished chapter 33 and I have to say that me and my best friend (she is 6 years older than me but fuck) also everytime we see each other or text or call we both go "HEY BITCH" or "I LOVE YOU BITCH" or "BYE BITCH" it's fucking hilarious lol this is awesome and btw I can't help but say that there should be just a little something between Nikki and Jake like even if it's just a kiss.

more please!!!!

kaz_bvbarmy kaz_bvbarmy
6/5/17

Mooooooore! Pretty pretty please!

Lucifer Lucifer
5/19/17

I loved it! So much! Brilliant. If you ever have time to finish the last two chapters i'd love to read them. xx

bvb-army bvb-army
5/17/17

Awesome chapter, I personally love some of the things you had her say, my favorite being AND YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S COOKIES!!!"
Haha great chapter can't wait for your update^.*