My Darkest Desire (Ashley Purdy/OC/Andy Biersack)

Ashley's Pov:

For some reason, I couldn't stop laughing. Nikki looked at me like I was nuts but she laughed too. Everyone was glaring at us and I couldn't help but laugh even more. This shit really messed my head. I didn't even know you could possibly be so high. Nikki was right.

All my bad emotions were gone. I wasn't thinking about Nikki's miscarriage anymore and I just enjoyed her company. What was hard, was ignoring the insanely desire I felt towards her. Even when she breathed she turned me on. It was like I was possessed. I wanted to have her so badly that it hurt. I wanted to rip her clothes of and fuck her on the floor if it was needed, in front of everybody. I've never known that I had so much self control. She said that I have to wait till we get back to the hotel and the waiting drove me crazy.

Also, I felt like my heart would burst any minute. Just seeing her made me want to scream how much I love her. How much I need her. How addicted I was to her. I was grinning like an idiot, as I felt my hand tingling in her hold. We got back to the table as this time, Nikki sat near to me, instead of Brad. Everyone looked at us disappointed but I was to high to care.

"How you feel?" Brad asked.

"Awesome!" Nikki and I said at the same time.

We looked at each other, remembering how many times this happen and we burst into laughter.

"I thought cocaine makes you sleepy." CC commented.

"It depends. Most of the people are sleepy and tired after they have a dose. Nikki was never like that. She was always hyper and horny and apparently, this son of a bitch has the same state." Ryan spat at me.

"What state did you have?" I asked grinning.

"He was sleepy. And it pissed me off." Nikki said laughing.

"I can't believe this is happening." Jinxx sighed.

"You two are so fucked up!" Jake joined.

"We know!" Nikki and I said again at the same time.

We laughed again as Nikki filled her glass with whiskey. She filled mine too while Andy and Kaylie were looking at each other weirdly. I elbowed Nikki and she followed my gaze. She smiled and gestured to me to keep my mouth shut. I nodded, knowing for sure that they had something going on and Nikki knew about it. Troy sighed as he stood up and gave her a glare.

"Well, the bitch and her ex future dickhead boyfriend are stoned. Why don't we leave them in their world and have some fun as well?" He said and everyone looked at him surprised.

"I'm in!" Andy and Kaylie said at the same time.

"Me too!" Jinxx agreed.

"And I subscribe!" CC yelled.

"Let's do this!" Jake said standing up.

"This shit is going down." Ryan said and stood up as well.

Nikki and I grinned at each other as we downed our glasses. We stood up as well, a little hard because of the dizziness. Nikki wrapped her hair in a ponytail and she stretched her back.

"Well, my club is your house. Feel like home!" Brad said and looked at Nikki.

She smiled and pecked his lips. I almost growled at the sight but I pretended I didn't notice. At least, I am the one who's having her tonight.

"Do you have karaoke?" Nikki asked excited as we returned in the central area of the club.

"Yeah, it's right there." Brad pointed to the back on the left.

"C'mon, I wanna sing." Nikki yelled over the blasting music.

She dragged me through the crowd until we reached the karaoke machine. I looked back at the others as they started to dance and drink. Suddenly, I felt like I wanted to sing too.

"What do you wanna sing?" I shouted so she could hear me.

"I don't know! Give me an idea." She laughed grabbing a microphone.

"You choose and I'll join you." I said and grabbed a microphone as well.

She looked at me and her eyes widened. I chuckled and I kissed her lips softly. I stared into her eyes and got lost in them. They weren't green, they were almost black because of the cocaine but still, they were the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. Her perfect sculpted lips were forming a smile that melted my heart. She was ravishingly beautiful and I couldn't help but feel the luckiest guy in the world for having her love.


"Why are you staring at me like that?"

"Because I love you more than I can ever scream!" I yelled and earned some looks from the people that were near us.

She smiled widely and wrapped her hands around my neck. Her lips collided with mine forcefully and I kissed her back like there was no tomorrow. We weren't together anymore but still, we were acting like this. We hated each other but the love was stronger. We could never agree on something but we did the same things. We were so twisted and that's why I was sure she was the one for me.

For the first time in my life, I felt complete. Like I found my soulmate. I knew I was a wreck without her. I felt empty and miserable. I still felt hurt about that pregnancy thing but right now, I couldn't even think about it. We pulled back after a few series of 'get a room' shouts and we stared at each other. She pecked my lips once again and gave me that heartbreaking smile.

"I love you more..." She said seriously.

"No, I love you more."

"No, you don't." She yelled.

"Yes, I do." I yelled back.

"You don't!"

"How about going back to the hotel and show you?" I said grin in and she burst into laughter.

"I saw this coming." She said placing the microphone back.

"Okay, I'm predictable, sue me!"

She laughed as we left the karaoke area after she placed my microphone back too. I was confused now, as she dragged me to the dance floor. Falling In Reverse's Good girls bad guys started playing and Nikki started to dance.

"I thought you wanted to sing." I said loudly.

"I changed my mind!"

I laughed and we danced for a few songs. I just let myself free and I loved it. I wasn't thinking anymore. During Metallica's Nothing else matters, I held Nikki in my arms, humming the song in he ear. She gripped my waist tight and rested her head on my chest as we slow danced with each other. To me, nothing else mattered except her.

When the song ended, we walked back to the rest of the guys. All my band mates and Troy were totally wasted. For some reason they kept singing Hallelujah and I just had to laugh my ass off at them while Nikki recorded the whole scene.

Kaylie had her head in Andy's lap with a hand over her forehead, mumbling the lyrics as Andy played with her hair. Ryan was the only one who looked sober and he was discussing something with a little tipsy Brad.

"I'm going to the bathroom." I said and Nikki nodded.

I let go of her hand and I walked towards the bathroom. I was thinking to cut short this night, mostly because I couldn't wait to be with Nikki. I washed my hands after I finished and I looked in the mirror, noticing that the brown of my eyes was almost invisible. I shrugged and I exited the bathroom.

Walking back towards the guys, what I saw filled me with an uncontrollable rage. Nikki was in Brad's lap, holding his shoulders so she won't fall off of him at how hard she was laughing. He was laughing too, along with Ryan. I didn't care about why they were laughing. I was pissed that Brad had his hands way too low on Nikki's hips and was smiling seductively at her.

She returned his smile and that's when my emotions changed. I wasn't feeling good anymore. I felt that pain again. I was hurt, pissed and angry but it was a hundred times worse. I tried to snap out of it as I grabbed Hayley's hand while she tried to move past me with an empty glass in her hand.

"Can I help you?" She asked smiling.

I checked her up and down again and I noticed that she unbuttoned two more buttons of her shirt since the last time I saw her. She had long blonde, wavy hair and she had a heart shaped face. She had blue eyes, almost grey and her body had curves in the right places. Just my type.

"Yes, Hayley. I really think you can." I said looking straight between her breasts.

"What do you need?" She asked licking her lips.

"I need you to show me the use of the beds in this club." I said and I let go of her hand and grabbed the back of her neck, pulling her closer. "Can you help me with that?" I asked, my lips touching hers.

"Yeah." She answered as she grabbed my hand and dragged me after her.

She slammed the glass on the bar as we went past it, towards the back of the club. I realized how big this club was and wandered in awe. We entered in a small room and she turned the light on. It looked like a motel room. Warm and comfy, nothing special.

I looked at the girl in front of me and I grabbed her chin and slammed my lips violently on hers. I felt ashamed of myself as soon as our lips touched. But I was angry and I needed a release. I wasn't expecting to feel so enraged by what I just saw. But I did. I felt the urge to strangle Nikki and then beat the living shit out of Brad. I had to control myself and I somehow managed to, choosing to have another type of release. It felt wrong but I didn't care.

That's why I wasn't ready to start over with Nikki. Because we always find a way to hurt each other. It's like we were enjoying the pain we were making each other go through. I sighed as I ripped Hayley's shirt, making buttons fly all around the room as I hardly tried to forget about Nikki, with no use.

Notes

Don't hate me! I just had to do it!

tell me what you think... Love yaaa!