My Darkest Desire (Ashley Purdy/OC/Andy Biersack)

Nikki's Pov

I took a shower and got dressed quickly. I took some jeans shorts and a Bring Me The Horizon t-shirt. I straightened my hair and I did make-up, feeling excited. It's been a while since I went out without caring about anything. I took my converses and my jacket just as I saw that Ryan was ready.

"Looking good, sunshine!" He commented.

"I feel good." I said winking.

I grabbed my phone, my cigarettes, my wallet and my lighter and we exited the room. Everyone was already in the lobby waiting for us. We were just about to get out of the hotel when I heard the other elevator opening.

I turned away and I saw Ashley walking towards us, dressed in his usual: black cowboy boots, black ripped jeans and a white shirt that exposed half of his perfect chest. My breath was caught in my throat as he lazily waved at us.

"I'm hurt. Weren't you going to wait for me?" He asked and I looked away.

"You weren't exactly out of your room for the past two days." Jake said.

"Well, I am now. Where are we going?"

"The closest club! Now, let's go!" Ryan said and dragged me after him.

I gave him a thankful smile as I think I heard Ashley growl. We got in the cabs and we went to Elements (random name). As soon as we got inside, I felt the smell of weed in the air. I grinned like an idiot when I saw Ryan's expression.

"What's this smell?" Andy asked.

"That smell, my friend, it's the smell of marihuana." I said smiling.

Jake and Jinxx glared at me as I walked straight to the bar, followed by everyone. The bartender had his back to us and I had to shout at him to give us nine shots of whiskey, so he could hear me over the blasting music. When he turned around, my heart stopped, while Kaylie, Ryan and Troy smiled in surprise.

"Brad?! Oh my God! I can't believe it's you." I said excited as my other constant sex buddy smiled at me.

"Long time no see, little beast." He said as he exited the bar and gave me a bone crushing hug.

He man-hugged Ryan and Troy and he smiled widely at Kaylie who waved at him.

"What are you doing in Ohio?" I asked as another bartender took his place and filled our glasses.

"Dad left me this club. He died a month ago." He said shrugging.

"I'm sorry, Brad." I said grabbing his hand.

"It's okay. How have you been? You changed your number but Duncan told me you started touring. And I heard you were shot, saving a guy's life."

"Yeah, I'm good. I just got out of the hospital." I answered as he led us to a private area of the club.

We all sat down and I introduced him to the guys. He shook their hands and I saw Ashley glaring at him and it pissed me off. I grabbed Brad's hand and I sat next to him as a blonde waitress brought our drinks.

I saw Ashley checking her out and I got even more pissed as I downed my whiskey glass.

"Hey, princess. Bring the bottle here. I'm sure you have other clients to take care of." I spat angry.

She exchanged a look with Brad and he nodded.

"It's okay, Hayley. Bring two bottles actually."

She nodded and Brad gave me a questioning look. I grinned and he smiled, understanding what was going on.

"I've never thought this day would come. I'm really hurt actually." He mocked.

"You'll get over it." I laughed.

"Brad, what's with smell of weed?" Jake asked.

"Well, that's pretty much why this club is always full. Because you can do whatever you want here." He answered shrugging.

"Can you get laid too?" Ashley asked and I glared at him.

"Actually, yes. It's a special area in the back of the club which has beds."

"I think I'm gonna use that area." I said and Brad grinned.

"You haven't changed at all."

"Oh, I did. But I didn't like it." I said as Hayley placed the bottles on the table.

"Do I wanna know?"

"Not at all. Tell me, what else is allowed here?" I asked winking and he knew what I meant.

"Nikki!" Ryan yelled.

"Are you out of your fucking mind?" Troy joined.

"Wow! They're even worse than I remember." Brad laughed.

"What's going on?" CC asked dumbfounded.

"I think Nikki wants drugs." Kaylie said giving me the death glare.

"What?!" Andy spat.

Jake and Jinxx could've killed me with the looks they were giving me while CC watched me shocked. Ashley said nothing as he observed the discussion with interest.

"Ignore them. So?" I turned my attention to Brad.

"Everything you want. Name it and you'll get it." He said sighing.

"Cocaine."

"Nikki!!!" Everyone yelled at me except Ashley.

Brad looked at them and he didn't know what to say next. I elbowed him and waved my eyelashes at him. He sighed and looked at me helpless.

"I don't think-"

"C'mon Brad. I'm a big girl, I can make my own decisions." I spat and I glared at everyone who yelled at me.

"You sure?" He asked worried.

"I haven't taken in a few months. I'm sure." I said smiling.

He sighed and stood up. He left the table and walked back to the bar. Jinxx, Jake, CC and Andy looked at me disappointed while Kaylie, Ryan and Troy were glaring at me. However what Ashley said next almost made me fall from my chair.

"How is it?"

"What?!" I asked surprised.

"The cocaine. How is it?"

"Ashley!" Andy spat

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Jake asked.

"I just asked a question. Calm down, idiots!" He yelled at them and turned his attention back to me.

"It's like you can do anything. It's freezing all your emotions and you don't feel anything. You can create your own feeling after you take it, though." I said.

"What's your own feeling?"

"Madness." I said and he laughed.

The sound of his laugh made me smile like an idiot. He stared back at me and opened his mouth to say something. He was debating whether or not he should say what was on his mind and I decided to help him.

"What are you thinking?"

"I want some." He said and my eyes widened.

"What the fuck?!" CC yelled.

"Are you crazy?!" Jinxx joined.

Everyone looked at him shocked, including me. What the fuck was wrong with him?! Why did he wanted cocaine?!

"Why?!" I asked and everyone stopped from screaming profanities at him.

"You said it's freezing all your emotions. I want that." He said simply.

"You've never taken before. This is a drug, it causes addiction." I spat angry.

"You're not an addict anymore. I think I can handle it too." He said just as Brad came back.

He threw a small bag on the table and it landed near my glass. I opened it and I smelled it, smiling at the strong smell. I grinned at Brad who just shrugged, knowing how cursed he was in that moment.

"How much do I owe you?" I asked.

"Nothing. You have anything for free." He smiled.

"I knew you had a soft spot for me." I laughed and he nodded.

I looked at Ashley and I was thinking what should I do. I didn't want to risk to turn him into a cocaine addict. But then, I remembered that you need more than a one time to become one.

"Nikki-" Ryan warned.

"Oh c'mon, Ryan. Don't tell me you didn't miss it." I said and I waved the bag.

He looked at it and he swallowed hard. He did miss it. But he was stronger than me. I gave in, he didn't. I stood up and I asked for a straw. Brad gave it to me and I walked to the bathroom. I heard someone following me and a long line of profanities were unleashed. I let the door open and after Ashley got inside, he closed it with his foot.

I emptied the bag on the tile near the sink and I realized it was a big pack. I pulled out a credit card and I formed two thick lines. Ashley watched me with interest in his eyes as I finished. His eyes met mine and I saw that he was sure about it. However, I wasn't. I wanted to destroy the lines and just barge out of the bathroom. I wanted to share everything with him but not this. This was wrong. He walked to me and grabbed the back of my neck. His hot breath hit my lips and I took a deep breath.

"Why are you so scared?" He whispered.

"It's wrong Ashley. I shouldn't do this. I don't want to destroy your life." I said and I felt the tears burning my eyes.

"I'm a big boy, Nikki! I can make my own decisions." He quoted me."And you won't destroy my life. It's just a one time."

"What if you want more?" I said staring at his lips.

"Then we're doomed." He said and crashed his lips on mine.

I immediately kissed him back with a force I've never known I owned. He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer as I pushed myself against him. I dropped the credit card as he lifted me up on the sink. He spread my legs and he rubbed his length against my core making me moan.

"Ashley, what are you doing?" I breathed as he lifted my shirt, caressing my back.

"I can't help it. I want you so much that it drives me nuts." He whispered, biting the sweet spot on my neck.

"You said you're not ready."

"You said the same thing."

"Then we should stop." I said as my hands unbuttoned his shirt and now, were running all over his chest, involuntary.

"Should we?"

He drove me insane. I wanted to have him in this goddamn bathroom. I wanted to be with him in every possible way. My strength was fading away with every kiss we shared. I looked at him and I took a deep breath before I spoke.

"Yeah, we should."

"But I can't help it."

"Me neither, but you said you can't be with me right now." I spat pissed.

"And still, every single part of me is screaming for you." He spat back.

"But you still can't be with me! You're still that idiot to think that I'm in love with Andy."

"That feeling is fading." He whispered and I looked at him with my eyes widened.

"What?"

"Don't ask me. Don't push me. I don't know what I'm feeling right now."

"Okay..." I said and I looked down.

He kissed me once again before straightening my shirt and buttoning his own.

"Show me how you do it." He said and pointed to the lines.

I got off of the sink and grabbed the straw. I exhaled and placed the straw in my nose as I inhaled deeply. It burned my nose as I handed the straw to Ashley who looked at me amused.

"What's wrong?"

"It's burning your nose at the beginning." I said and I felt that familiar dizziness taking over me.

He shrugged and did what I showed him. He choked a little and I saw that his mouth filled with the powder.

"Swallow." I said and he complied.

"It tastes like medicine." He commented.

"I know."

He grabbed the sink and I felt myself stepping on cloud nine. He looked in the mirror at our image and grinned like an idiot.

"Nikki, I feel like I'm... I don't know, I feel-"

"Like you're on cloud nine?" I asked knowingly.

"Exactly!" He said and I saw how his pupils dilated.

He was stoned as fuck. The green of my eyes was almost invisible at how dilated my own pupils were. I chuckled at myself and Ashley grabbed my hand.

"I feel like I can do anything." He said seriously.

"I know. I feel the same." I answered smiling.

"But I have a problem." He said looking down.

I followed his gaze and I saw his length almost popping out of his jeans. I hoped that this wouldn't happen although it was a common reaction. I felt my skin burning and I knew I was in the same situation.

"I have the same problem." I said and he grinned.

"We're stoned, that shouldn't count right?" He asked and my twisted brain agreed with him as he kissed my neck.

"I don't think so. But you have to wait till we get back to the hotel." I said stopping him.

"Why?" He whined.

"Because I wanna dance and get drunk." I said like a little kid.

"Okay. But with one condition."

"What?"

"No one touches you. Only me!" He said seriously, looking straight into my eyes.

"Okay."

He kissed me once again, setting my whole body on fire. I felt so happy that it almost scared me. I wrapped my arms back around his neck and I kissed him with everything I had.

"I don't think that I can wait till we get back to the hotel he said, licking my collarbone.

"Then stop!" I breathed as I was digging my nails in the back of his neck.

"I can't!"

"If we get laid now I'm not sleeping in your room tonight."

That made him stop. He stepped away from me and he mocked horror. He looked at me like I just told him I will kill his dogs. I laughed and he smiled at me. My head was spinning and I could tell he felt the same because he rested his back against the wall. I stepped closer and I lifted his chin up, checking if his nose bleed or not. He was clean and he gave me a grin, knowing what I just did.

"Why do I love you so much?" He asked sighing.

"I don't know. But I know that I love you more." I answered and I pecked his lips."What's your feeling?" I said changing the subject.

"I wanna do something crazy but I have no idea what." He said blushing.

"Well, let's get out of here and figure out what we're gonna do."

I laughed and he nodded. He grabbed my hand as we walked out of the bathroom stumbling and laughing like idiots.

Notes

I'm Sorry to everyone one who ships Nikkley!

They're still on bad terms and they will be for the next few chapters... :(

Anyway, let me know what you think in the comments

Love yaaaa