My Darkest Desire (Ashley Purdy/OC/Andy Biersack)

Nikki's Pov:

I rolled on the other side of the bed and I saw Andy's clock on the nightstand: It read 19:13.

"Oh my God! Andy, get up!" I said panicked and I shook his body.

"Why?" He mumbled.

"Because we have to be on stage in 45 minutes!"

"Fuck!" He said and jumped out of bed."Shit! I'm still drunk!" He exclaimed holding his forehead.

"Ahhh, me too!" I said as I stood up. "Let's take a cold shower."

He nodded and we entered his bathroom. We were still naked so he only grabbed some towels from the rack. I stepped inside the shower, on the cold tile and I shivered. Andy wrapped an arm around my waist and clenched his teeth when the cold water hit us. He pressed my back against his body and I leaned in his touch. Then, he moved all my hair on my right shoulder and started kissing my left one. I closed my eyes, enjoying his touch as I intertwined my fingers with his own. I turned around to face him and my breath was caught in my throat at the sight of Andy. His hair was wet and it was glued to his perfect features. His baby blue eyes were filled with desire and his full lips were slightly parted. I opened my mouth to say something but Andy stopped me. He pushed my hips against the cold tile and his lips collided violently with mine. I kissed him back with just as much force and his left hand cupped my left breast, running his thumb over my nipple. I moaned as I dug my nails in his shoulder, pulling him closer. He pressed his length against my lower stomach and I groaned in frustration. We really didn't have time for this!!!

"Andy! We don't-"

"Shut up!" He cut me off as his hand found its way to my private area.

He gently parted my folds and his thumb started circling my clit. I threw my head back and I moaned loudly. I felt him smirk as he bit down the sweet spot on my neck. I tried to move my hand down to his length but he didn't let me. Instead, he lifted my legs and shoved himself roughly inside me. I screamed in surprise as he once again, bit my neck. He stood still for a second and then he started to move painfully slowly. I adjusted my position, so now we were face to face. His hot breath hit my lips as he stared at me with a mixture of lust and need in his eyes. His thursts were still at a slow pace and it drove me insane.

"Andy!" I managed to say.

"What?" He smirked looking at me.

"I... Ahhh, goddammit!"

It was useless. I couldn't form words and he knew it. His lips found mine once again and I bit his lip, pissed. He groaned and glared at me. A small trace of blood formed on his bottom lip and I licked it, enjoying the way the coldness of his lip ring made me feel.

"Faster." I managed to say and his devious smile showed up.

It was like he waited for me to say those words. His pace quickened and my back arched. He hit my spot with every single thurst and I screamed when his teeth grazed my collarbone. My nails were firmly gripping his shoulders as I was panting hard. He moaned loudly, still slamming himself inside me. I almost choked with water when I felt the familiar sensation in my lower stomach. I felt his length twitching inside me as my walls clenched violently around him. He gripped my thighs forcefully, riding his orgasm as I screamed his name in pure ecstasy. When he finally set me back on my feet, I was almost sober.

He smiled widely at me and I couldn't help but smile back. He gave me a sweet peck on the lips and I blushed a little. We cleaned ourselves and we exited the bathroom, wrapped in towels. We quickly changed in our clothes and I grabbed my phone.

I had 57 missed calls from Ashley, 6 from Kaylie, 3 from Ryan and 7 from Jinxx. Also, I had 23 unread messages. I sighed as I slid my boots on and exited Andy's house. We had less than 20 minutes to get to the venue. Hopefully, we will get there in time.

"Nikki?" Andy said as I sped off."What are we?"

I swallowed hard and threw him a glance. I didn't know. What were we? Sex buddies? A couple? Friends with benefits?...

"I don't know, Andy." I answered truthfully.

"Well, do you wanna be with me?" He asked seriously.

"I... I guess so."

"Then let's be a thing." He said and placed a hand on my thigh.

I looked at him and my heart broke. This is not what I wanted. I didn't want Andy. I wanted Ashley. But he screwed up and now I was with Andy.

I sighed and I nodded towards Andy. He smiled as I looked back to the road. Maybe it's for the best. Maybe Andy won't hurt me like Ashley did. Maybe I'll fall in love with Andy. Maybe everything will be ok in the end.

"I still love him, Andy." I whispered.

"I know. But maybe in time you'll forget about him. I started to forget about Juliet in the second I met you." He said and looked away.

We arrived at the venue and I realized that I had to make up something about the picture I took with Ashley this morning. I'll say that it was a dare, that should work right??

"Where the fuck were you? We're supposed to be on stage in 5 minutes!" Jake snapped as we arrived backstage.

Ryan, Troy and Kaylie were ready and so were the rest of the BVB. However, Ashley was nowhere in sight.

"And where the hell is Ashley?" CC joined.

"He's probably still fucking Kina." I snapped as I grabbed my bass.

"Wait, what?!!" Jinxx said dumbfounded.

"You heard me. He fucked his ex girlfriend because I made that calendar." I answered simply even though my heart ached.

Troy walked to me and gave me a bone crushing hug. I felt the tears filling my eyes but I blinked them back. With the corner of my eye, I saw everyone with expressions of pity and anger on their faces.

"You okay?" Ryan asked placing a hand on my side.

"I'm here!!!" Ashley shouted coming in sight, running with his bass hanging around his neck and breathing heavily.

A wave of anger came rushing through me as I smiled wickedly at Ryan. I forcefully grabbed Andy's collar and I crashed my lips on his own. He kissed back, placing a hand on the back of my neck. I heard gasps and surprised exclamations.

"Of course I am okay. Don't be dumb." I said to Ryan, grinning after I left a breathless Andy confused.

I shot Ashley a glare and I almost break down, seeing the hurt look on his face. I kept thinking that it was his fault, not mine and I sighed. Jake and Jinxx looked shocked. CC had an unreadable expression. Kaylie looked pissed and Ryan and Troy gave me small smiles, knowing how hard I was pretending.

"Let's go!" I said and my band mates followed me on the stage. I took me every ounce of strength not to cry when I mentioned that the picture of me and Ashley was a fake. I successfully managed not to look at him after I said those words. Cheers erupted from all the Purdy girls and I saw a few pouts as well. Guess, some of the fans wanted us together.

We started to play and all I wanted to do was get it over with. I wasn't in the mood at all. For the first time in my life, the singing didn't make me feel better. I felt hollow. Empty. Wrecked. Betrayed. Miserable. After our performance, I left the stage as fast as I could, pushing everybody out of my way. I heard Andy yelling my name but I ignored him.I threw my bass and I felt the tears burning my eyes again. I ran out of the theater and I noticed that it started to rain. No, scratch that! It was a motherfucking storm! Great!

I walked to the closest bar and I got in. I walked to the bartender and I asked him for a bottle of Jack. He gave me a weird look but gave it to me anyway. I payed for it and I walked back to the venue. I managed to avoid Troy and Ryan, who were looking desperately for me and I climbed the stairs, heading to the roof.

I threw my soaked shirt and I sat on my knees in the pouring rain only in my bra and my jeans. Tears were streaming down my face and I wanted to scream. I opened the bottle of Jack and swallowed a huge gulp that almost made me threw up.

"Now, our lives have changed, I wish that I could heal...
Time has taken love, a darker side revealed ...
For every life begins with what we used to feel..."

I started to sing, my voice cracking from all the pain I felt in that moment. I bounced back and forth, feeling the rain wash away all of the shame. The shame of being cheated. The shame of sleeping with Ashley's best friend.

"Ohh, blaming myself, tied in these chains, living in pain.... Ohh, all of your tears, everything's gone, is it too late?...
Walk away..."

Why?! Why did this happen?? Why did he sleep with Kina? Why did I sleep with Andy? Why did I kissed him in front of Ashley? Why did I wanted to hurt him like he hurt me? More tears fell from my eyes as I took another gulp of whiskey.

"A lonely heart remains, until we know the truth...
But if it stays the same, can we make it through?
A life without the hurts... A life without you...."

A life without him? No, I couldn't live without him and I knew it. I loved Ashley with all my heart and my soul. That's why it hurts me so much. Because the person I loved the most betrayed me the worst. I've never felt so bad. Not even when Damon died. Not when mom left me. Not when dad took his life.

"Ohh, blaming myself, tied in these chains, living in pain.... Ohh, all of your tears, everything's gone, is it too late?...
Walk away... Everything's gone! Everything's gone!"

It was gone! I couldn't trust him anymore. He damaged forever my already fucked up life. What hurt me the most was that I still wanted him. I still wanted him to come and wrap me in his arms. To kiss my temple and to tell me that he loves me. To assure me that everything will be okay. That he was with me.

"Ohh, blaming myself, tied in these chains, living in pain.... Ohh, all of your tears, everything's gone, is it too late?...
Walk away... Everything's gone... Walk away...."

But he wasn't! He didn't care. He lied and cheated me. I forcefully wiped away my tears and took another gulp of whiskey. Andy was there for me. Why couldn't I fall in love with him? Why the fuck my heart wanted Ashley? The fucker who tore it apart!!

"Ohh, blaming myself, tied in these chains, living in pain.... Ohh, all of your tears, everything's gone, is it too late?...
Walk away..."

I kept screaming that damn song for hours, until my voice cracked and more tears escaped my eyes. I walked stumbling to the edge of the building and looked down. What if I end this shit now? What if I jump? I was thinking seriously at killing myself as I took another gulp of whiskey. I climbed on top of the edge still holding the bottle.

"Ohh, blaming myself, tied in these chains, living in pain.... Ohh, all of your tears, everything's gone, is it too late?...
Walk away..." Everything's gooooone!"

Isang and I realized that I couldn't do it.

"Walk away...."

I collapsed on my knees, almost falling over the edge and I held my head with my hands, crying harder. I dropped the bottle and I watched it shatter on the sidewalk as I felt someone wrap its arms around me and getting me off of the edge. I leaned in. I was to drunk to know who it was. I turned to this person's chest and cried my soul out. Sobs erupted from its chest and I wondered why was he crying. It was a he!

"Don't try to leave me again! I can't live without you, Nikki. I love you too much! I'm so sorry!" He said and cried harder.

I lifted my head and I met chocolate brown eyes. Ashley's eyes. Full with fear. Full with despair. Full of tears. I wanted to scream so hard but I couldn't form anything as he took off his jacket and slid it over my shoulders. He tightened his arms around me as we were both crying in the pouring rain. I looked up to the sky an when I lowered my gaze I saw someone looking at us. I couldn't see who it was as my head started to spin badly.

"I love you so much! Please, forgive me." I heard Ashley whispering as I closed my eyes.

Notes

Phew!!! I was actually listening to Walk Away while I wrote this and I can honestly say that I cried...

Also, I'm sorry but the updates won't be as frequent as they used to be but I promise that I will try to update at two days. There will be another chapter up tonight.

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I love you guys! Xxxxxxx