My Darkest Desire (Ashley Purdy/OC/Andy Biersack)

One month later....Nikki's POV:

It's been a month since Risen Demons and BVB started touring together. Everything was almost perfect. Almost all BVB fans loved us. They liked the band and they liked us as persons. I was still feeling like everything was a dream.

Things were pretty good between us too. Kaylie and I didn't fight at all in the past month. We had a little argument about me being stoned at our first performance but I told her that I threw the cocaine in the toliet after the show and she was happy.

Troy was still my sweet pain in the ass. He always hid the alcohol from me and broke my cigarettes. I knew he was doing this for my own good but it still pissed me off. Although everytime I tried to kick his ass, everyone had his back. They had a fucking alliance behind my back! Whatever... I am still new to this whole 'everyone cares about me' thing.

Ryan and I became distant with each other ever since Ashley and I got together. I didn't know why and it bothered me. I tried to talk to him but he always cut me off. He also, started to date a chick named Caitlin and he seemed pretty happy. I was glad that he finally decided to start over, even though sometimes, I felt that I didn't matter to him anymore.

CC and Kaylie are the sweetest couple ever. You know when you eat too many chocolate bars and you feel sick? That's how I felt near them. They were so sickly sweet with each other. It was nice at the beginning but now everybody runs away when they start to talk with each other. And I really mean it when I say everybody.

Jinxx's divorce was finalized three weeks ago. He didn't seem upset at all. I thought that maybe he is just a good actor so I tried to hook him up with someone ever since. He wouldn't have it. He said that he really needed a break from all the dating and emotional crap and I understood him. I felt the same after Damon's death. Even though Jinxx will never be the one night stand type like I used to be.

Jake was excited that we will finally meet Ella. We talked to her on the phone and she said that she can't wait to meet us, especially me. She said that Jake won't stop talking about his 'pizza buddy'. I laughed my ass off when she mentioned that. Also, she said that she saw our audition online and she has a proposition for me and Kaylie but we will talk when we arrive in England. I was curious and I couldn't wait to get there.

Andy and I have been good in the past month. I mean, we actually became friends. It was hard for both of us because that damn attraction was still there, but we managed to control it. We even went to a movie together! We've seen a crappy comedy but still, we kept our hands to ourselves. It was frustrating sometimes, because there were some moments when I caught him staring at me. After that, he would always smile at me. And tell me someone whose heart doesn't skips a beat when Andy Biersack smiles??! Speaking of his smile, in the last month I saw that smile a lot. Not for me necessary, he just smiled a lot lately. I assumed that things were good between him and Juliet and I couldn't help but feel happy for him, even though I still felt a little bit jealous.

And now that Juliet came up... We will see her too in England. I was kinda nervous, I won't lie. I mean, I almost had sex with her boyfriend. They weren't together at that time, I know that, but I still felt a little awkward. And the fact that she cheated on him didn't help either. I was still pissed but who am I to talk? I kinda cheated on Ashley too...

Talking about the devil...Ashley and I were... Perfect! I can't find a better word. I swear to God that with every day that passed, I loved him more and more. He asked me out a few days after we got back together and it was my best date ever. We went to the theater and then he took me to dinner. We drank red wine which is pretty unusual for both of us and then we went to a hotel. As soon as we entered the hotel room, my breath was taken by what he did. Candles and rose petals were everywhere, all over the room. That night, we made love. Not sex, love. The next morning when I woke up and I found him sleeping beside me, I almost cried of hapiness. I couldn't picture him like this. And the thing that he was all mine was still unbeliveable for me.

He and Andy were also good. They talked about everything that happened and they decided to start over. Their friendship was very important, and neither of them wanted to lose it. Andy even asked Ashley for permission to take me to that movie. He was suspicious at first but he agreed. When we got back and I jumped in Ashley's arms I think he realized that both, Andy and I, were trying. And that was enough for now.

I was feeling a little weird because today I was supposed to be at Damon's grave. Yet, I in a plane that will get me to England. I realized that somehow I managed to move on. I started to trust people more, I started to date someone, I stopped taking cocaine and I think I finally returned to the way I used to be. It was so good to have feelings again.

"Whatcha thinkin'?" Ashley mumbled giving me a worried look.

"I was thinking about how badly I wanna get to bed with you." I said smiling seductively.

He chuckled and kissed my lips softly. I knew that we were together for almost six weeks but I still didn't tell him about Damon and my parents. He seemed very understanding and sometimes, I wonder if any of my friends spilled something. He never pushed me and he never asked questions. That was the weird thing, he always does!

"We'll land in 10 minutes. Chit chat with Ella and Juliet for a while and pretend you're sick again." he whispered so that Kaylie and CC, who were behind us, wouldn't hear.

"I think I might do that." I said and I kissed his cheek.

He gave me a genuine smile that made me grin like crazy. Soon, we landed and we exited the plane. We will meet with the girls at the hotel. Two big cabs picked us up and left us in front of a huge hotel. Ashley chuckled when I stared at how big it was and I smacked his chest. He fake pouted when I did and I laughed. We left our luggage in our rooms and then we went in the bar of the hotel.

"Jake!!"

"Andy!!" I heard yelling as soon as we entered.

A tall, beautiful woman came running to Jake and wrapped her arms around Jake's neck. She had tears of joy in her eyes and I couldn't help but smile like an idiot. With the corner of my eye, I saw Andy hugging Juliet and burrying his face in her hair. He really missed her. Ashley wrapped an arm around my waist and kissed my temple. I looked at CC who was doing the same thing to Kaylie. Troy and Ryan were looking at the bar, probably trying to find the best booze. Jinxx was looking at all of us happily and I felt bad for him. He noticed and he gave me a huge grin and ruffled my hair.

"Stop it, Daddy Jinxx! You know I hate it!" I whined and he and Ashley laughed.

"But I like it and I wanna do it all the time!" he said in a playful tone.

"And I wanna marry Ian Somerhalder but that's not gonna happen either." I answered smacking his hand.

"Ok, now I'm hurt." Ashley commented.

"Shut up! You know I love you." I said and I kissed his lips.

"I love you too."

"I never thought I'll see this. Ashley Purdy in love! Could life get any interresting?" Ella said smiling.

"You'll never know." I said as I hugged her.

We introduced ourselves and I was kinda surprised when Juliet actually hugged me. I shot Andy a 'WTF' look and he just shrugged as I hugged her back. We took our seats, we ordered something to drink and we talked about random shit. It was really nice. Ella was cool and I gotta say that I kinda liked Juliet too. Oh, cut the crap, I loved this woman untill I found out that she cheated on Andy!

"So, Ella, you said you had a proposition for us?" Kaylie asked.

"Uhm, yeah. It's about a charity project. I wondered if you and Nikki would like to be part of it. So far it's just Juliet and I and we still need two more girls." she said sipping from her cocktail.

"What's this about?" I asked.

"It's for an institution for abused children. They don't have any money and they will be closing it soon if they don't pay the bills." Juliet answered.

Kaylie and I exchanged a look. I was abused for almost six years. I will do this even with my eyes closed. I didn't get the chance to get help. I had to do it on my own, but not everybody is like me. Those children need help. Maybe their cases were even worse than mine.

"What do we have to do?" I asked quickly.

"Uhm, it's for a calendar. But it's a pretty... sexy one. No clothes, just props."

"Wait, what?" Ashley said in a little angry tone.

"It's a sexy calendar but it's not pornographic." Juliet answered.

"You're Ok with that?" Ashley asked Andy, since he knew he doesn't have to ask Jake because Ella was a model and that was her job.

"It's for charity, man. Why not?" Andy answered simply.

"CC?"

"Andy's right. I would love to keep Kaylie's body only for my eyes but if this calendar could help someone than I will agree." CC said and Kaylie's eyes widened.

"Well, I don't like it!" Ashley snapped.

"Hey, what's wrong with you?" I said grabbing his hand.

"I don't like the idea of seeing pictures with you naked everywhere."

"But there will be props. And besides, I play shirtless. There won't be anything that the world didn't already see" I said reassuringly.

"You're not gonna make those pictures, Nikki! I just don't want you to." he said and left the bar pissed.

I was dumbfounded. Why would he react like that? It was for charity for God's sake! What is wrong with him? I looked after him until he disappeared behind the doors. A wave of anger rushed through me. Why the fuck is he telling me what to do?! I can do whatever I want! I don't have to ask for permission! He can't forbid me anything!

"Nikki? Are you ok?" Juliet asked me looking at my glass of whiskey.

I realized that I was clutching it so hard that my knuckles turned white. I shrugged and I downed the content in one gulp. Everybody was looking at me weirdly and I didn't like it. Andy and Jake with a worried expression, Troy, Kaylie and Ryan with a knowing look, CC and Jinxx expected me to flip and Juliet and Ella with confusion in their eyes.

"When is this photoshoot?" I asked as the waiter poured me another whiskey.

"It should be in three days." Ella answered.

"Count me in!" I said pissed as I drank the whiskey and went after Ashley.

Notes

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