My Darkest Desire (Ashley Purdy/OC/Andy Biersack)

Two weeks later... Nikki's POV:

So, it's been almost three weeks since BVB are living with me and Kaylie. Things haven't changed much. Jake left last week to see Ella and he made me promise that I won't cheat him. Meaning, I won't get another pizza buddy. Apparently, I'm not the only weirdo around.

Jinxx has constantly taught me how to play several songs on violin and piano as well. I swear to God, this man should be a teacher. CC became like my big brother, always there to make me feel better. CC and I also became the wags of the group. We pranked everybody, except Jinxx because I didn't want to prank Daddy Jinxx.

Ashley and I are good. What can I say? We get along pretty well and not to mention our...Other activities. Although, he didn't ask me out yet. Not that I wanted that. It's been almost 7 months since I had a date. I didn't really want to have one. But the fact that he didn't ask me kinda pissed me off.

Andy.... Well, like Kaylie said :”When you two are in a room, you can practically touch the tension.”... Yeah, she was right. There was a lot of tension between us. I was stil pissed that he slept with Kaylie. Anyway, after that they kinda ignored each other. I thought that they will have a thing or at least they will be friends with benefits but that didn't happen. I avoided as much as I could to be alone in a room with Andy because I didn't trust myself around him.

Even though, he slept with my best friend, I still had something for him. And I tried to burry the feeling but it was useless. My hands were always shaking whenever he was around and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I tried my best to control myself so that Ashley won't notice and I was doing a good job so far.

Kaylie was still working at Paul's bar. Why? I don't know. I quit last week after I told Chase about the tour. He was ecstatic and wished me the best. As a goodbye gift, he made me another tattoo. Now, I had 'Unholy' tattooed on my right wrist. I loved it.

Today was one of my bad days. Today are seven moths since Damon died. I went to the cemetery on 17 of every month since he died. It never gets easier. I stared at myself in the mirror. I had my hair in a ponytail and no make-up. I was wearing a long sleeve black dress that ended just above my knees and my sandals.

This was the dress I wore at his funeral and I always wear it when I go to the cemetery. I took a deep breath and exited my room. I slowly went downstairs. Everybody except Andy was sprawled all over the living room and I smiled. My life was turned upside down in less than three weeks. And I wasn't complaining.

Kaylie noticed me and she gave me a warm smile,knowing where I was heading. I didn't tell anyone about Damon and I didn't have any intention at all. Ashley's eyes snapped to me as I was taking my car keys.

”Hey.... Where are you going?” He asked wrapping his arms around me and kissing my cheek.

”I have some stuff to do. I'll be back soon.” I said and I turned around so I could face him.

He kissed me softly and I shivered at his gentleness. This man surprised me even more then I can describe. First of all, he was rough as fuck in bed . Second of all, he was pretty... resistant too and third, he had his moments. Moments when he will stop me in the middle of the street just to kiss me. Moments when his gentleness made me think seriously that he is bipolar or something. And moments when he was bak at his usual player self, flirting with me shamelessly. But right now, he was mine. And I liked the feeling.

”Uhm... actually we were planning to have a guys day. I don't know if we will be here when you get back.” he said still holding me.

I glanced at Jinxx and CC and they gave me those goofy smiles.

”Well, you better get dressed. My shift starts in 30 minutes.” Kaylie said.

”You're going at Paul's?” I asked and Ashley nodded.”Wel, then have fun.” I said and I kissed him hard.

”Thanks babe” he whispered as we pulled apart.

He pecked my lips again and then everybody went to get changed. I entered in the kitchen and I found Andy smoking. He looked at me through the smoke and gave me a smile. My knees were weak in a second but I controled myself.

”Where are you going dressed so fancy?” he asked sipping his coffee.

”I just have to do something.” I answered as I poured myself a glass of water.

I drank the glass and I turned to look at him. He had some shorts and he was shirtless. I mentally slapped myself when I realized I was staring at his body.

”Why don't you get changed? The others ar preparing to leave.” I said calmly.

”I'm not really in the mood. I told them that I will meet them at Paul's if I decide to go.”

”You won't have a car.”

”I'll walk” he said and he stood up with the mug in his hands.

He walked to me looking straight into my eyes and placed an arm on the counter just near me while he placed the mug in the sink on the other side of me. For a moment, I felt his hot breath on my lips and I shivered. He just smirked as he returned to his cigarette.

”I gotta go.” I said and I walked out of the kitchen.

”Bye.” he yelled after me but I didn't respond.

I got my purse and stuffed my phone, my keys and my cigarettes in it and I got out of the house. Why the fuck does it have to be so hard?? I am with Ashley. I shouldn't be thinking about Andy at all. I bought some flowers and then I walked to the cemetery. I found Damon's grave pretty fast while thoughts about Andy and Ashley were still running through my mind.

Hello, Damon" I said and I knelt down on the grass.

I placed the floors on the grave while I ran my fingers over the marble where his name was written.

"A lot has happened since the last time I came here. " I whispered and I looked at the sky.
"My dream will come true, you know? I am going on tour with that band you always said I am obsessed about." I continued and I chuckled.
"I might record an album. My band can get famous. You know I always wanted that." I took a deep breath and I felt like someone was choking me.
"I also started dating someone. Even though he didn't ask me out yet. And I really like him, Damon. He is like you in a way... He is sweet and I somehow feel that he cares about me... But he is also a manwhore... And I am afraid that he might hurt me or lie to me... Just like you...." My vision became blurry and for the first time in seven months, I started to cry...

"But that's not the only thing, Damon. I have feelings for his best friend too. He is just perfect, you know? The kind of guy that every girl wants. He is so different from the other one. I don't know what to do... I'm with Ashley but I have feelings for Andy..." I addmited as more tears spilled from my eyes.

Right now, I was glad I wasn't wearing any make-up. I stood there and I cried my soul out feeling relieved. It was good to finally release and admit my feelings. But it also scared me. I didn't know what to do now. I was confused and it kinda hurt me. I've always known what I wanted to do, who I wanted to date or what I felt. Now, I didn't know any of it.

After I calmed myself and said my goodbyes to Damon, I walked back to my car and drove home. I knew what I wanted to do to feel better. I will sing. I will sing and I will feel better. I knew that probably the house was still empty. I checked my clock and realized that I've been crying for the past four hours. I shrugged as I got out of the car and entered the house.

I lit a cigarette and then threw my purse on the couch. I walked to the bar and took a bottle of Jack to drown myself in it. I swallowed a big gulp and enjoyed how it burnt my throat. I went upstairs and got changed in a pair of shorts and my bra. No one was home so why be decent?

I extinguished my cigarette in the ashtray and then I headed back downstairs. I took my pack of cigarettes, my phone and the bottle of Jack and I went in the basement. I heard a guitar playing and I frowned.

I walked further and I met a pair of blue eyes. Andy was staring at me when suddenly, he stood up, placed the guitar on the floor and walked to me.

"Why did you cry?" he asked me worried.

A wave of emotion hit me and I dropped everything I was holding. He crushed my body against his and hugged me tight.

"What did he do?" he whispered against my hair.

I couldn't talk and I realized what he was thinking. I cried into his chest wanting to kill him so badly but also being grateful that he was holding me. I managed to calm myself and I looked at him.

"Ashley didn't do anything. I was at my ex boyfriend's grave today." I said as I picked up the bottle of Jack and threw myself on the couch.

He picked up my cigarettes and my phone, placed them on the table and sat near me. I took a huge gulp of whiskey and thanked God for making such an amazing thing as Jack Daniels. He sighed and hugged me back while I rested my head on his chest.

"I didn't cry a single tear in seven months. And now I cried for the past four hours. And you know why?" I whispered.

"Why?"

"Because I am confused. I'm confused because I am with Ashley but I can't help but have feelings for you." I said and looked at his beautiful, blue eyes.

He kissed my forehead and burried his face in my hair.

"I am confused too, Nikki. Because you are with my best friend and I can't help having feelings for you either." he whispered and my heart melted.

I managed to stop crying and looked at him once again.

"Let's sing something" I said and he nodded smiling.

I sat at the piano while he took back the guitar and sat on the piano. I glared at him and he just smirked.

"What do you wanna sing?" he asked me.

"I don't know...." I said truthfully.

"How about 'Love isn't always fair'?"

"On piano and acoustic guitar? I don't think it will-"

"Trust me. You can nail everything." he said and I just nodded. We started playing and I really liked how it sounded.

Andy:One look and I am sold
You got me on my knees
You steal all my innocence
A love sick melody

Take me…

Both: You always want the one that you can’t have
Cuz’ Love Isn’t Always Fair
You are the best romance I’ve never had
Cuz’ Love Isn’t Always Fair

Nikki: Your kiss a withered rose
Your lips have buried me
Hearts race the moments gone
We shared this fantasy

Take me…

Both:You always want the one that you can’t have
Cuz’ Love Isn’t Always Fair
You are the best romance I’ve never had
Cuz’ Love Isn’t Always Fair

Nikki: Kneel and pray for closure baby
Andy: This is the ride that we’re on, oh
Nikki: And I’m taking what you give to me
Andy: Never want it to stop,

Both: I want it all
In this temporary love

Both: You always want the one that you can’t have
Cuz’ Love Isn’t Always Fair
You are the best romance I’ve never had
Cuz’ Love Isn’t Always Fair
Love Isn’t Always Fair!

The song ended and my eyes were widened. I've never felt so good singing with someone and I couldn't help but hug Andy. He laughed and got off of the piano and hugged me back. When we pulled apart, he stared at me and leaned in.

I couldn't move so I just closed my eyes. His lips touched mine and I felt like I was in heaven. Something in my mind was screaming at me that this was wrong but I couldn't stop. I kissed Andy back with everything I had as he lifted me up on the piano, still kissing me. He started kissing my neck and I let out a moan of pleasure. I had to stop and I knew it but my body stopped responding.

Andy reached for my lips again and I managed to turn my head away.

"What's wrong?" he asked breathless.

"You know what's wrong, Andy. We can't..." I answered just as breathless.

"He doesn't have to know." he said seriously and I couldn't believe my ears.

I might be a whore but not like this. Even though my body was screaming at me to say yes, I just couldn't. I have feelings for Ashley, maybe I am in love with him.... But I won't hurt him like that... We made a promise that we will talk about everything... And I won't break that promise... I had to talk to Ashley....

My thoughts were interrupted by Andy who started kissing me again. I hated my body right now. I involuntarily wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back. He unclasped my bra and threw it on the floor and in that moment I knew I had lost the fight.

He started kissing my left breast hungrily and I threw my head back moaning. He laid me on the piano and took of my shorts and my underwear with them. He climbed on the piano over me and reached for my lips again. I entangled my fingers in his hair realizing how different he was from Ashley.

His hand traced my body down to my core where I wanted him the most.

"You're so wet, Nikki. How much did you wanted this?" he asked biting my neck.

"You have no idea" I moaned.

He smirked and got off of the piano and buried his head between my legs. My back arched and I think I scratched my piano in pure bliss. His tongue was circling my clit, biting it every now and then. I could feel him thursting two fingers inside me and I screamed in surprise. He started thursting his fingers, violently in me and I swear to God, I destroyed my piano.

My head was spinning, adjusting to the pleasure that Andy was giving me and soon, that voice inside my head disappeared. I felt myself being dangerously close but I didn't want him to stop.

"Don't hold it back, Nikki. I wanna hear you scream." he whispered in my ear and I couldn't hold it back anymore.

I screamed as I came hard all over his hand. He licked everything and then smirked at me sucking his fingers. My whole body was shaking like crazy as he helped me get dressed. I was still breathing hard and I wanted to kill him.

"I think you really need to talk to Ashley." he stated and I glared at him.

"No shit, Sherlock! I just got fingered by his best friend. Of course I have to talk to him. But hear me out, Biersack. This is the last time you and I will ever be alone in a room. I don't wanna destroy what I have with Ashley for some stupid lust I feel towards you." I spat at him.

He looked taken aback and he grabbed my arm just I was about to leave.

"This is not only some stupid lust and you know it. Why you keep denying it?"

"Because I am scared." I whispered but he heard me.

He wrapped me in his arms again and I hugged him back.

'What the hell have I done?' I thought to myself as I felt tears in my eyes again.

Notes

Crazy long chapter.. .So, a little smut for those who wanted Nikki and Andy have some action...

Don't forget to rate and comment and let me know your ideas for this story....

Love yaaa xxxx