My Darkest Desire (Ashley Purdy/OC/Andy Biersack)

Everybody was now laughing at some stupid shit that CC said while I was looking at Andy. He seemed upset and I didn't know why. I downed my glass of whiskey and I stood up. He looked at me and I motioned for him to follow me, careful so that no one noticed. He just nodded and downed his whiskey as well.

”Where are you going?” Ashley asked. Everybody looked at me and I shrugged.

”I just wanna talk to Andy about something.” I answered.

He gave me a weird look and they continued their discussion.

I entered in the kitchen, turned the light on and closed the door. Andy looked at me questioningly.

”Why are you upset?” I asked as I leaned against the counter.

”I'm not upset.” he answered and placed himself on one of the chairs.

”Cut the crap, Andy. I might not know you for long but I know when someone is upset.” I said softly.

He sighed and looked down. I walked to him and sat on one of the chairs near him. I lifted his chin up and smiled at him. I swear to God that I almost melted in those blue eyes and for a second I forgot what I wanted to say.

”You can talk to me, you know? You saved me in so many ways, the least I can do is be there when you need someone to talk to.” I said regaining my composure.

He sighed again and opened his mouth but no words came out. He was struggling to say something and I saw his eyes watering. I let go of his chin as I collapsed on the floor on my knees and hugged him tight.

He wrapped his arms around me and started sobbing with his head burried in my hair. My heart melted seeing my saviour this way. What was hurting him so badly?....

”Shhh... It's OK, Andy.... I'm here.... I'm here...” I said as I was stroking his back.

He pulled back and his eyes were red. I stood there, on my knees, holding his hands.

”Ronnie... Sent me a picture....” he started looking at our hands and intertwined our fingers.

I squeezed his fingers and motioned for him to continue.

”I tried to call Juliet all day.... But she didn't answer.... And then about an hour ago... Ronnie sent me this picture... And she was with this guy.... ” he said as a wave of sobs shook his body again.

I hugged him again and I sighed. I knew the feeling. Even though I found out that Damon was married after his death I still knew how badly it hurts. I stroked his back as he hugged me tightly. Right now, I hated Juliet. I loved her music and her personality but she hurt one of my saviours. She didn't mean a thing to me anymore.

” Why didn't she talk to me? What did I do wrong?” he asked his voice muffled by my hair.

I took his face in my hands and looked in his beautiful blue eyes.

”You did nothing wrong, Andy. Maybe she didn't want to hurt or I don't know. But this is not your fault.” I said reassuringly.

”But...-”

”She lost a great guy. A wonderful person. A person who saved so many lives. It's her loss and she will regret it. Maybe she made a mistake. Maybe she was drunk and didn't know what she was doing. But you had nothing to do with it.” I said caressing his cheek.

He looked at me and gave me a small smile. He squeezed my fingers and pulled me to him. I didn't know what he was doing and I just froze. I saw him closing his eyes as his lips connected to mine. My eyes were widened and I tried to think but I couldn't. His soft lips started to move against mine and I lost myself in his touch. He pulled the back of my neck and I stood up a little. He bit my lower lip and I opened my mouth. Our tongues met and danced together in harmony. I closed my eyes not being able to move.

This was different. I didn't feel sparks like I was when I was kissing Ashley. But I felt something. Something I couldn't quite place. He wrapped his other arm around my waist and pulled me even closer. I managed to move my hands and I caressed his arms. I was melting under Andy's touch and some voice in my head was screaming at me to stop. But I couldn't.

He stopped kissing me and looked at me, his blue eyes meeting my green ones. Our foreheads were still touching and we were breathing hard against each others lips.

”Thank you, Nikki.” he whispered.

”Andy, I, I'm... We shouldn't...” I couldn't form words and I was frustrated..

”I know. I'm sorry. But thank you for not rejecting me. I somehow needed that.”

I just nodded and he pecked my lips. A long peck. A peck that got my head spinning again. He stood up and lifted me as well. I grabbed his arm and looked in his eyes. I felt something. That kiss somehow meant something for me. He probably didn't feel a thing because he was still hurt and he acted reckless.

”Andy, I...”

”You felt something too, didn't you?” he whispered softly.

I looked at him surprised. Did he felt it too?

”I know that I did. And I'm not saying this because I am hurt or drunk. I felt something from the moment I saw you sing the first time. But I understand that you might be Ashley's new sex buddy and I don't wanna interfere.” he said truthfully.

I looked away. For the first time in my life, I felt ashamed that I actually got laid. I was ashamed for wanting Ashley so badly. And I was ashamed that I felt something when I kissed Andy.

”I'm not going to be his sex buddy.” I said.

”You just had sex with him.”

”I did. And I can have sex with you right now if I want too. That's what I do. I don't get attached. I don't want any type of commitment. So don't make me feel bad for my style of life, Andy.” I snapped.

”I wasn't trying to. You think I can ever trust a woman after this bullshit?! I won't. I just let you know that I felt something when I fucking kissed you and I'm pissed because you slept with my best friend.” he said angry.

”Why?”

”I have no fucking clue, Nikki. You have something that draws me to you.” he whispered getting closer to me.

I didn't think. I stood on my tip toes and kissed him. He responded imediately wrapping his arms around my waist. I pulled apart realizing what I was doing.

”What was that for?” he whispered.

”I don't know, I can't think straight now.” I said truthfully.

”Me neither.” he answered hugging me.

I buried my head in his chest and I realized that we were here for too long. I didn't want to be questioned more so I pulled away and dragged Andy after me.

”C'mon, let's get drunk. Also I think you should tell the guys about Juliet.”

”I know.” he sighed as we exited the kitchen.

'God, what have I gotten myself into?' I thought sighing as well.

Notes

Now, this chapter confused me very much. I had no intention to write it like this but it just came out. Also, I don't know where this story is going. I have no idea who will end up with Nikki.

Eventually, I'll figure it out. 'Till then, enjoy the chapter, rate and comment. I love to read them.

Love yaaaa xxxx