My Darkest Desire (Ashley Purdy/OC/Andy Biersack)

Nikki's Pov:

"I... I don't know what to say." I said truthfully.

"Think about it, Nikki. You guys, have a lot of talent. And a screamo girl it's not something you see often. This could be your debut." Andy said.

"I'll say.... Hell yeah!!" Kaylie said.

"And I subscribe." Troy continued high fiving her.

Ryan waited looking at me. I gave him a smile and I grabbed his hand. He interwined our fingers and smiled back.

"We go through every shit together, right?" I said.

"Let's do this bitch!!" He laughed.

We got up and looked at Kaylie and Troy. They got up as well and then we turned our attention to BVB.

"Make that appoiment." I said to Andy. "We can't wait for it."

Ashley's POV:

Everybody cheered as soon as those words left her mouth. I couldn't help but smile like an idiot. I was kinda happy that they agreed. The only think I wasn't happy about was the fact that Nikki was still holding Ryan's hand. I knew that they weren't together anymore but I couldn't help but feel kinda .... Jealous??? Why the fuck was I jealous? Something was wrong with me. I decided that today was the day. I'll finally give in my desire.

Maybe I would get rid of this stupid feeling.

"I think we should go back to the bus. We bothered Nikki enough." Jake said.

Nikki looked at Andy and gave him a smile.

"Actually, if you guys wanna stay here during the tour break you're more than welcome." She said while Kaylie nodded.

"Well, I can't say no to that offer." CC agreed.

"Cut the crap, Mora. You just love our fridge." Kaylie laughed.

"You have a fridge full of Monster and beer. Who wouldn't love it?"

The girls laughed at CC's silliness.

"Are you sure we're not bothering you?" Jinxx asked.

"Well, this dickheads aren't around all the time." Nikki said pointing to Ryan and Troy. "And we can really use some company."

"WOW!! How lovely... If we are dickheads what are you?" Troy asked offended.

"I am a badass bitch!" Nikki said proud.

Everybody laughed at her sudden acces of sicerity.

"Then I'll stay too." Jinxx continued.

"I'll stay a few days, but I really wanna see Ella." Jake said.

"Ok, buddy. You can stay as long as you want too." Nikki answered and then looked at Andy.

"You know my answer. And I really appreciate it." He said giving her a hug.

"No problem, Biersack. Hope you won't get crazy while you live with me and Kaylie." She chuckled and Andy laughed.

What the hell? Something was going in here and I didn't know what. But obviously they talked about something.

"And you?" Nikki asked snapping me out if my thoughts.

She looked at me like with an unreadable expression.

"How can I say no? I mean three weeks in your lovely company? I wouldn't miss that." I said grinning.

She held back a laugh and Ryan glared at me

"Well, we have a deal then." She said Smiling.

"I'm hungry!" CC whined.

"Me too." Jake joined.

"Kaylie, go cook them something." Nikki said.

"Why can't you cook for them?"

"Because I'll burn the house. Now go. I really need to practice on something." She said grabbing her violin.

"Need help?" Jinxx asked.

"Actually, I do. I can't play Overture correctly." She said frowning.

"Let's see what you got." He smiled before grabbing another violin and joining Nikki on the couch.

We all left them to practice whatever classical music they loved and went to the kitchen.

"Have a seat, people." Kaylie said while she opened one of the fridges and pulling all sorts of food out.

"So Ryan, why did you and Nikki break up?" Andy asked bluntly.

Everybody looked surprised at him, including me.

"Well we were young and we were stupid. We both made countless mistakes and we hurt each other. I really don't know how are we still friends." He said truthfully.

"You're the reason that she doesn't trust men anymore?" I asked a little pissed.

He looked at me curiously and he answered calmly:

"No. That was Damon."

"Damon?" Andy asked.

"Damon was the only man who had Nikki's heart. Ever!" Kaylie said as she threw some eggs in the pan.

"What happened?" I asked curiously.

Ryan exchanged a look with Kaylie and Troy and then sighed.

"Nikki broke up with me when she turned 18. After a month or so, she met Damon. They had something. I don't know... They got together the next month." He took a Deep breath and continued: "The only problem was that he was 32. Nikki didn't care. She was truly in love with him. At their one year anniversary, he proposed. She accepted in an instant. They were happy together and everyone could see it. After all the shit she's been through with her parents, she was finally happy. Until one day..."

Ryan paused and looked at Kaylie who was cooking bacon now.

"Damon died in a car accident. While he was going to sign his divorce papers."

"He was married??!!" Andy yelled.

"Yes, he was. But he loved Nikki and wanted to be with her. So he asked for divorce. But he never got to sign those papers." Kaylie said sadly.

"When Nikki found out," Troy continued "she was a wreck. She was devastated by his death but his lies hurt her more. That's why she doesn't trust men. Because even though, Damon loved her, he still lied to her. Ever since he died 6 months ago, she is like this. Drinking, smoking, working, singing and having one night stands. We see her genuine smile only when she is singing. That's the only moment when she is truly happy."

"WOW! That's awful!" Jake said as Kaylie was setting a plate with eggs, bacon, cheese and toasted bread for each one of us.

"Everyone has their own ways of getting over the pain. Nikki found hers. I'm just glad that she doesn't...-" Kaylie stopped in her sentence looking at me and I knew what she meant.

She was glad that Nikki stopped cutting.

"Doesn't what?" Jake asked with his mouth full.

"Doesn't suffer as much as she used to." Ryan said.

"Well, I am glad she is better now." CC said taking a fork full of bacon.

"Yeah, we all are." Troy said and everybody nodded.

Nikki had a shitty life that was for sure. But somehow she managed to survive. She was broken and I was sure of that. Even though she tries to hide it from everyone, her pain never left her.

I sighed looking at my plate.

'What am I gonna do with her?' I thought to myself.

Notes

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