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My Darkest Desire (Ashley Purdy/OC/Andy Biersack)


Nikki Morgan isn't a normal girl. Life gave her enough shit for a lifetime but still she is surviving. Going to a BVB concert with her best friend Kaylie will change her life forever. Will it be in a good way or a bad way? Warning: strong language, self harm, suicidal themes and sex scenes..


Andy Biersack

Andy Biersack

23 years. Lead Singer of BVB. Sweet and caring. In a relationship with Juliet Simms until he finds out that she is cheating on him. Develops feelings for Nikki at some point but is torn because she seems more into Ashley and turns his attention to Kaylie.

Ashley Purdy

Ashley Purdy

30 years. Bassist for BVB. Manwhore and a player. He likes Nikki and he is constantly trying to get in to her pants. Soon, he realizes that he doesn't want Nikki to be just a one night stand. He develops feelings for her but doesn't know how to show them.

Brad Stevens

Brad Stevens

26 years. One of Nikki's sex buddies. Has a night club in Ohio and likes Nikki a lot.

Chase Jensen

Chase Jensen

27 years. Nikki's ex boss. He cares a lot for her and Kaylie and is like a big brother to them. He develops feelings for Colleen soon after he meets her and doesn't care that she is carrying Ashley's child.

Christian CC Coma

Christian CC Coma

29 years old. He is the drummer of BVB. Hyper and always there to give free hugs, he sees Nikki as his little sister. Also he has a crush on Kaylie, even though he knows her feelings for Andy.

Colleen Branson

Colleen Branson

22 years. Has a one night stand and ends up pregnant with Ashley. Becomes one of Nikki's and Kaylie's best friends and has feelings for Chase, Nikki's ex boss.

Damon Thompson

Damon Thompson

33 when he died. He was the first man who won Nikki's heart and broke all her walls. He dies the night he went to sign his divorce papers after he proposed to Nikki.(I know he is Ian Somerhalder but just look at him!!! *faints*)

Duncan Bates

Duncan Bates

25 years. Nikki's other sex buddy. Football player and a complete gentleman. He cares for Nikki deeply even though neither of them wants a relationship.

Ella Cole

Ella Cole

25 years. She is Jake's fiancee and becomes good friends with Nikki and Kaylie.

Jake Pitts

Jake Pitts

29 year old. He is the lead guitarist of BVB. Engaged with Ella Cole he becomes one of Nikki's best friend because of their never ending love for pizza.



28 years. Rhythmic guitarist for BVB. Always the quiet and the smart one, he cares for both, Nikki and Kaylie as a father.

Juliet Simms

Juliet Simms

27 years. Andy's girlfriend. Their relationship ends after he finds out that she is cheating on him.

Kaylie Dawson

Kaylie Dawson

20 years. She is Nikki's best friend. She is a wild one, just like Nikki. She has a major crush on Andy but she knows that he will never feel the same. She also likes CC a lot, despite her feelings for Andy.

Nikki Morgan

Nikki Morgan

20 years old. She is the lead singer and the bassist for the Risen Demons. She is been doing music all her life and knows how to play a lot of instruments. She loves her friends to death and would do anything for them. She likes Ashley a lot but she is afraid that he might hurt her. Also, she has a weird relationship with Andy after he breaks up with Juliet.

Ryan Anderson

Ryan Anderson

23 years. Nikki's ex. Plays drums in Risen Demons. He is like a brother to her now but he still has feelings for her. He is an arrogant guy with a cocky attitude most of the time because he is afraid to show his weaknesses.

Troy Bennett

Troy Bennett

21 years. He is Nikki's and Kaylie's best friend. He is also gay and not afraid to admit that. He is sweet and always there to listen others problems. He plays rhythmic guitar in Risen Demons.


  1. 1. We are the Fallen Angels!

    Getting ready for the concert

  2. 2. To heal your scars, I will give you everything I can

    Time of their lives

  3. 3. Spent years in liquid harmony

    short chapter... I am on my phone :(

  4. 4. Your lips have buried me

    Nikki might be taking "the worst decision ever"

  5. 5. You're by yourself with me tonight

    Vodka, whisky and pretty much everything that has alcohol in it!

  6. 6. I'm taking what you give to me, never want it to stop

    Ashley teases Nikki to the point where she wants to kill him

  7. 7. Your crimson touch is going nowhere

    Secrets revealed

  8. 8. All the same in love and war

    Meeting Troy and Ryan

  9. 9. She won't sit and beg

    Nikki doesn't give a shit

  10. 10. We are young and we are strong

    Risen Demons are faced with the chance of a lifetime

  11. 11. No sorrow left inside of me

    A look at Nikki's past

  12. 12. I've lost all faith in this blurring light

    Ashley's plan

  13. 13. She gives me head

    Two words: MAJOR SMUT

  14. 14. I am the chosen, wretched and divine

    Tension, tension and more tension

  15. 15. You got me on my knees

    Meet Duncan Bates.

  16. 16. In the midnight hour

    More smut....Finally! :D

  17. 17. Sink your teeth into forever


  18. 18. This pain it visits almost nightly

    Nikki is confused

  19. 19. I wonder how to move on, from all I have inside

    Thoughts and questions

  20. 20. I'll give you almost anything

    A desire that can't be denied

  21. 21. One last stand before the gates of hell


  22. 22. A deadly grip on lies

    The audition

  23. 23. They taught me youth and whisky

    Hapiness and more confusion fueled by alcohol

  24. 24. I've lost my fucking mind

    Yep! Nikki lost her fucking mind!

  25. 25. I think of it every time I touch you

    Reckless decisions

  26. 26. You know I'm unholy

    Nikki's happy !!

  27. 27. I sing with dark devotion


  28. 28. When your back's against the wall


  29. 29. Everytime I hear his hame

    The truth

  30. 30. We'll bleed along the sand

    Old habits

  31. 31. I don't owe you anything


  32. 32. There are no stars in the sky

    Start over

  33. 33. After the tears have fallen down like rain

    Road to fame

  34. 34. Tear down the walls that will surround


  35. 35. Hope born in a time that's broken

    Risen Demons!! Risen Demons!!

  36. 36. You live without direction

    England, Ella ....and Juliet!

  37. 37. Treat me cruel

    Angry sex *giggles*

  38. 38. I will walk through hell


  39. 39.When darkness is all you'll see


  40. 40. In death we're all believers


  41. 41. With every sin I still wanna be holy

    Smut!! Big one! :D

  42. 42. Living in pain


  43. 43. Everyday feels like a war


  44. 44. I can't fight for a life I've never known


  45. 45. Wake up, wake up, wake up my darling

    Filler chapter

  46. 46. From your cradle to the grave


  47. 47. I'll become all your blasphemy

    Giving in....

  48. 48. You love your comfort


  49. 49. Like birds whose wings are broken


  50. 50. I'm not afraid to die

    Drama starts

  51. 51. Am I what you want or who I had to be?

    Shit is going down...

  52. 52. I build these walls to watch them crumbling down

    Bad emotions

  53. 53. No one to wish us well


  54. 54. We'll fall like angels if we lose what matters

    Trying something new...

  55. 55. I'm the one you love to hate

    She's "fine"!

  56. 56. Kill all abandoned hope


  57. 57. Death could hear my shame


  58. 58. This razor cuts the pain right out


  59. 59. A heartless feeling of pain and regret


  60. 60. Sleeping tight in your insanity


  61. 61. Feel the blade of a broken promise

    That lyric says it all....

  62. 62. When your life feels lost...

    WARNING! Might be triggering!

  63. 63. Goodbye agony

    Warning! Might be triggering...

  64. 64. Let's live another night


  65. 65. Ready, to heal our battle scars


  66. 66. We can leave it all behind

    Stuff xD

  67. 67. It's time to wash away the sins

    More stuff xD

  68. 68. Then I lost it all

    Drama! Again...

  69. 69. When I hear your cries


  70. 70. We'll brave this storm


  71. 71. But they still have hope so...

    Nikki's birthday part 1

  72. 72. I pray for morning

    Nikki's birthday part 2

  73. 73. No more, waiting for a change


  74. 74. So here's my song I wrote in time


  75. 75. The best things in life come with a price

    Kaylie's birthday

  76. 76. Who can save me now?


  77. 77. Can we make it through?...


  78. 78. Living a life of misery


  79. 79. In yearn for what's missing


  80. 80. A passion crime to take what's mine


  81. 81. You kissed the lips of evil


  82. 82. Thoughts of the yesterday


  83. 83. I will always be there

    This is such an emotional crap!

  84. 84. Bring this moment back to life


  85. 85. We're bound until the end

    Understanding... MIGHT BE TRIGGERING!

  86. 86. Our hearts bear crosses


  87. 87. I'll wash my hands of yesterday

    More emotional crap! Ugh!

  88. 88. I said I love you as I left you

    Take it easy, dammit!! xD

  89. 89. I have watched you fall

    oh yeah.... they're screwed! xD

  90. 90. I got a license for love

    SMUT! xD

  91. 91. They can't stop us from our freedom

    Filler chapter...

  92. 92. Fear won't steal what burns in you

    Christmas with Purdys

  93. 93. I'll never let my fucking walls down

    Andy's birthday

  94. 94. Partners in crime will leave their mark

    Ashley's birthday

  95. It's ON!

  96. 95. A wedding of the damned

    Title says it all, right? :D

  97. 96. Take your hand in mine


  98. 97. Even if I start to fall....


  99. 98. Nothing left to defend



Okay I can't hold back anymore! I just finished chapter 33 and I have to say that me and my best friend (she is 6 years older than me but fuck) also everytime we see each other or text or call we both go "HEY BITCH" or "I LOVE YOU BITCH" or "BYE BITCH" it's fucking hilarious lol this is awesome and btw I can't help but say that there should be just a little something between Nikki and Jake like even if it's just a kiss.

more please!!!!

kaz_bvbarmy kaz_bvbarmy

Mooooooore! Pretty pretty please!

Lucifer Lucifer

I loved it! So much! Brilliant. If you ever have time to finish the last two chapters i'd love to read them. xx

bvb-army bvb-army

Awesome chapter, I personally love some of the things you had her say, my favorite being AND YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S COOKIES!!!"
Haha great chapter can't wait for your update^.*