This Is Our Sweet Blasphemy

Well I could say I was having the time of my life listening to Macy babble on about how she was going to make us do whatever she wants and chatter on about the many different ways of blackmail.

Oh just look at all that sarcasm.

So let me update, Macy had shown us the photo she’d taken, so now Andrew and I were currently in his office; however, plot twist, Macy was the one sitting in front of us, behind Andy’s desk. She’d taken a photo of us kissing and is now telling us that if we don’t do whatever she says, she’ll show the picture to the head mistress.

It was sick. People can’t just blackmail others like this. I was going to send Macy to hell if she didn’t erase those pictures immediately. I looked over at Andrew, I expected him to be a bit pale at the thought that Macy had his job in her hands, but to the contrary, he was sitting straight and had his head held up with his hands folded neatly in his lap, looking intently at Macy, one eyebrow slightly more raised than the other.

Great, we didn’t even have time to talk about what had happened; I didn’t have a clue if we were dating or if that would never happen again. There were two different sides of me, a war going on in my head on how to react about it; on one side, I wanted things to go back the way they were in the first place, before we kissed, I wasn’t ever going to kiss him again… However, on the other side, I wanted to hold his hand right in this moment to remind myself he was with me and that he would always be with me, I wanted to watch movies with him and forget about the movie so we would end up talking and kissing, again and again.

“I’m expecting that you, Father Biersack,” said Macy, turning her attention and body to Andy “already know what I want from you.” She winked at him, making me want to punch her in the face… again.

I wondered what she’d want with him. Well, I did have some ideas, but I didn’t dare think too long about those or else I was going to throw a lamp on Macy’s head (which wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all). She turned her head to look at me and she gave me a look of disgust; making me, once again, want to break her neck.

“And you… well, I have a few special ideas for you, but for now, if I see you with him,” she said through gritted teeth, pointing to Andrew though not taking her eyes off of me “I’ll end all of your chances of you going back to your beloved America.” She smirked.

I pounded a moment on her words; how could she possibly know I wanted to go back? I’d never spoken about the reasons I came here in the first place, nor have I ever spoken about wanting to go back. I furrowed my brows and tilted my head a bit looking at the permanent glare on Macy’s face. She caught on my confusion because she bit down on her lower lip and her eyebrows shot up slightly in the realization of what she just said. She was hiding something. I needed to figure out what, for the sake of my relationship with Andy; if there was something going on between us at least…

The look disappeared quickly and she hurried her words “Anyway, you can leave now, I need to have a little talk with Father Andy here…” she turned to Andrew and grinned, he just rolled his eyes, those blue circles looking like the clearest water met mine briefly, and in just a few seconds I knew, just by looking into his eyes, he wanted me to get him out of there… he needed to get out of there.

I didn’t know if something happened like this before, of Macy wanting to have some alone time with the priest, but I knew for sure that Andrew did not what to go through anything that she-devil had in mind. I need to figure something out, anything out for his sake. And mine…

Yes okay, I admit, I would be fucking jealous if that bitch were to touch Andy in anyway. Andrew has become my friend, and I’m very overprotective of my friends. Besides, maybe, just maybe, he might, I mean, he could, be something more than just a friend. I needed time to figure that out. Ugh, this is so confusing.

I looked back at Macy “How about you leave instead? I need to literally talk to the priest.” She seemed to think a bit about what I just said.

“How about,” she mimicked “no.” Oh how I wish I was in Grand Theft Auto where I could just pull out a gun and point it at her face, I glared at her. I quickly took it off however; I needed to at least try to get on her good side, for a few minutes at least, I just needed some time alone with Andy.

“Listen, give me five minutes. Five minutes. Then we’ll ignore each other for how much time you want.” She still looked like she was hesitating, wondering if she could let me talk to her loved one. I needed her to at least think I wasn’t lying, that I would keep my word, so I added: “I swear it,” I raised my hand “to God.”

That got her attention. Even Macy didn’t use His name in vain. For her, what I was saying was some serious shit; for her, I wouldn’t even think twice about breaking such a promise. Or so she thought. Macy knew things about me I didn’t tell her, but I guess she didn’t know I wasn’t a believer. Me swearing upon God wasn’t important in anyway; I didn’t believe, I didn’t care.

She sighed “Fine. Five minutes, no more.” She then stood and left the room, closing the door behind her.

I stood the second she shut the door, Andrew looked up at me and equally stood, he approached me and was now very close to me, making my heart beat faster. We stood there, not knowing what to say to one another. I was already lost in his gaze.

He brought his hand and touched my cheek; his hand was cold as usual, except that this time, his touch was warm and soothing. He lips collided against mine for a few quick seconds then he let go of me, stepping back.

Well there goes the side saying I would never kiss him again.

I felt my blood rush to my cheeks, but I couldn’t dwell on the taste of cigarettes and minty gum coming from his lips for very long. We had four minutes max and I needed to find a way to throw that photo out from Macy’s cell.

I cleared my throat before speaking “Okay listen… We need to find a way to, um…” I couldn’t think straight, I didn’t know what to say or how to say what needed to be said. He was distracting me while he pushed my hair out of my face gently, his fingertips grazing against my forehead.

“Shhh…” he shushed, his voice soft with a hint of sadness hiding behind them. Was it because he thought this was literally the last time we were going to be together without Macy? No, no, it couldn’t be. We would see each other again, I mean, of course we would. He posed his forehead against mine and we just stood there, appreciating each others presence.

“No, Andre-” I was cut by his low voice. I remembered when I heard that same voice singing words that he should not sing, it was beautiful.

“Andy.” He spoke in a hushed tone “Call me Andy; it’s what all my friends call me anyway… Please.” Oh, I also remembered when I told myself I wouldn’t call him Andy, I would have never thought that one day he would plead me to call him by this name.

I realized I had called him Andy a few times gone unnoticed. I realized my sub conscience already knew I would fall for this son of a bitch. Am I falling for him? Is ‘falling’ even the word for how I felt for Andy?

“O-ok… Andy…” I tried to continue, I felt his hand touch mine, I looked down to see his fingers entwined with mine. “Listen, um, we can’t let Macy keep us apart. You know that right?” I tried meeting his gaze but his eyes were too focused on our hands together, he was playing with my fingers, twirling them around just like he did with his blue pen. I was hoping to get a reaction out of him when I said that Macy wouldn’t keep us apart, however it didn’t seem to do anything.

He nodded but didn’t say anything, so I continued “I’ll find a way to delete that photo, and while I do so, you can find other ways to get her out of this school.” I spoke whatever came to mind in a quick rush. I needed something to hold on to; Macy couldn’t just keep us apart when I just figured out my emotions for Andy. He nodded again and opened his mouth to say something but I guess he decided against it because he shut his mouth, his jaw tightening. He still wasn’t looking at me in the eyes.

“Don’t let her use you, or abuse you in any way okay?” I said, thinking that maybe he was cringing and dwelling on the thought of what would happen once I left the room. He looked up at me.

Shaking his head, he gave me a small smile “I’m the one who’s supposed to be telling you that, not the other way around.” He looked up at me and winked, making my insides melt.

God fucking shit, I guess I was falling for him.

He inched his lips close to my ear and whispered “Meet me at the gazebo, tomorrow at midnight.” I nodded.

The door of Andy’s office flew open and he quickly leaned away from me, letting go of my hands. Macy walked in calmly and stood in the middle of us. She looked at me and waved her hand. “Tick tock princess, time’s up. You can go now.” I clenched my fists, the urge to slap her was so tempting, but I knew that if I did, my parent’s would disown me; the head mistress would take a look at that photo and send me away, my parents would think that I had been fooling around with the priest instead of studying and being a nice catholic girl and send me to go live with my ex-soldier uncle, not mentioning that Andrew would most likely get fired.

I growled at her and left, shutting the door with all my might, I was so pissed at her. She was a bitch. I heard the lock turn and I felt my heart sinking when my mind started wondering on what she would possibly do with Andy… I knew they weren’t just going to talk, but, was it possible that Macy would actually lay in bed with him? Andy wouldn’t allow that, he couldn’t; although, if Macy imposed the idea, Andrew would lose his job if he didn’t.

I started shivering from the cold night air, it wasn’t that late out but the sun had already set making my walk back to my dorm much more sinister. I was never afraid of the dark, by the contrary, I found comfort in it. Sometimes I wanted to be invisible, I just felt like disappearing, and the darkness allowed me to not be seen. I could hide in the dark, see others without them seeing me, like an unseen shadow, it was nice.

I walked through the dark corridor and looked for my dorm room. I reached number 16 and sighed. The memories of when I came here with Andy the first time we met rushed through my brain, filling it and leaving me to forget about all the bad things that were happening. My memories rushed on to the moment when we ate together, the bonding started then I guess, not on great terms but still, it lead us to where we were now. I closed the door behind me, and walked to my bed. Not bothering to check on Ivy.

I shut my eyes. I didn’t want to think about my parents not caring about me back home, I didn’t want to think about the fact that my few friends only talked to me two times the entire time I’ve been here. I didn’t want to think about the ways Macy might be abusing Andy at the exact moment. I didn’t want to think about the fact that just a few foot away, the person I want to be loved for an eternity by is being forced to love another he doesn’t want to love.

I thought about the way Andrew used to tease me, his smirk would be the death of me one day. The way his soft lips felt against mine; his taste. The way he sang and the way he got jealous about Alex and me being friends.

I ended up falling asleep with a smile playing on my lips and a single tear trickling down my cheek.

Notes

I wanted to update sooner but then wild people appeared and i was forced to be social for a few days :( Anyway, i'm fucking falling in love with your comments, they are so so perfect thank you pumpkins so much *--*