A New Beginning
Chapter 1
No, I can't take this anymore. An old soul such as myself can't take anymore of these little pipsqueaks. As I sit in Chinese class I feel a shot of anxiety flowing through my veins. "Kara, pisssss!" My so called "BFF" calls me from a crossed the room. I silently roll my eyes and turn to see what the hell Becky wants. "What does this mean?" She holds up her work sheet. "It means food." I tell her the wrong answer. She turns back to it without even a thank you. I raise my hand and our teacher Mrs.Yu comes towards me. "May I use the restrooms?" She nods her head and I exist the room. I head up to the girls bathroom and lock myself into a stall. I sit on the floor, as I unzip my purse. I can feel the tears roll down my face as I pull out a sharpie. My BVB sign on my arm is fading. I have to go to my dad's tonight and all I want to do is play darts with my mom in the backyard. My dad has been mean to me a lot and I don't know why. I could always just live with my mom, but I want to make amends with my dad. I want him to love and accept me for who I am. It can't be done if I leave him. I know one of these days though, I'll give up.
The reason why I'm crying is because I'm having one of those moments ware I feel physical pain in my heart. I don't have heart problems. My theory is my mental heart, my will power for love, is broken and somehow makes it's self hurt me physically. I don't understand it myself most times, either. All I know is my heart is broken and I don't know how to fix it myself. I have moments like these all the time. I have depression from all the things that went on in the past, which I don't want to think about right now. I'll only cry more.
I hear the bell ring and I quickly get up and check my makeup in the mirror. My mascara seems to be in check. Eye shadow check, lip stick check, I'm good to go. What I don't understand is why are all the boys meaner then some of the snooty rich bitches. I'm quite popular and well liked, but not by the boys and the bitches. I understand the bitches, but the boys? I think I'm beautiful with my green eyes and auburn hair, but I guess no one else does. Most days I wear purple lip stick and dark eye liner. Those few other days that I forget, or don't have time do put those on, I just put on pink lip stick and mascara.
"Jesus put a mask on that thing." A boy says to me as he shoves me into another student. "I'm sorry!" I call back to the person I hit. That boy isn't just any boy, his names Brad. He bullies me at least twice a week. He'll get in my face and start picking on me, or he'll shove me in a locker. But, everyday he says mean things to me. I've damned him to hell more then a few times, that's for sure.
I'm half way through the second year of going to this private school. Unfortunately there isn't anyone like myself here. Hopefully some people of my kind come next year. I enter my last, and favorite, period of the school day, art. "Heeeeeeeeeello you little punks!" Mrs.Amy calls out. I see her playing her jet white acoustic/electric guitar. I can tell she's playing "Wish you Were Here" by Pink Floyd. She has to be my favorite teacher ever. She just started working here a couple of months ago. One of these days I want to ask her how to play that song. I've been learning guitar for about a year now, and my guitar teacher has been even helping me train my voice. Even though I wouldn't ever become a singer nor a guitar player for a living. Writing is my passion. I just have a special way with words.
"All you stinkers sit down and listen to this new song I made up." Mrs.Amy's fingers gracefully move around on the neck of the guitar. As she's just getting into the groove of it the bell rings. She sighs and the kids ask her to play more. "I'm sorry dears but I assume I do have to teach once in a while. We all know what happened last week when the principle caught me playing for you guys during class." All the kids start groaning as she places that beautiful guitar in it's case. "Well, I guess I could play when you punks start working on the knew sculpture project I thought up. Don't worry, I think you guys will enjoy it." She starts writing things on the board.
Becky taps on my shoulder from behind me. "Piss!" I sigh and turn around. "What do you want?" She rolls her eyes. "Don't give me that attitude, I have important news. There is a knew dude coming here next week. I hear he is going to have a body guard with him in every one of his classes!" I scrunch my nose, what the hell is she blabbing about? I don't think that's even allowed. Poor guy, he must really be a nerd. "What's his name?" She puts a hand on her chin for a minute. Then she snaps her fingers and looks at me. "Andy Biersack!" My eyes widen and my hands begin to sweat even more then usual. "Do you know him? He doesn't ring a bell to me." I turn around in my seat with my jaw hanging open. No way in hell is it really the famous Andy Biersack, one of my idols, and one of my crushes. Well, I'll have to wait till next week. It's probably just another nerd...
The reason why I'm crying is because I'm having one of those moments ware I feel physical pain in my heart. I don't have heart problems. My theory is my mental heart, my will power for love, is broken and somehow makes it's self hurt me physically. I don't understand it myself most times, either. All I know is my heart is broken and I don't know how to fix it myself. I have moments like these all the time. I have depression from all the things that went on in the past, which I don't want to think about right now. I'll only cry more.
I hear the bell ring and I quickly get up and check my makeup in the mirror. My mascara seems to be in check. Eye shadow check, lip stick check, I'm good to go. What I don't understand is why are all the boys meaner then some of the snooty rich bitches. I'm quite popular and well liked, but not by the boys and the bitches. I understand the bitches, but the boys? I think I'm beautiful with my green eyes and auburn hair, but I guess no one else does. Most days I wear purple lip stick and dark eye liner. Those few other days that I forget, or don't have time do put those on, I just put on pink lip stick and mascara.
"Jesus put a mask on that thing." A boy says to me as he shoves me into another student. "I'm sorry!" I call back to the person I hit. That boy isn't just any boy, his names Brad. He bullies me at least twice a week. He'll get in my face and start picking on me, or he'll shove me in a locker. But, everyday he says mean things to me. I've damned him to hell more then a few times, that's for sure.
I'm half way through the second year of going to this private school. Unfortunately there isn't anyone like myself here. Hopefully some people of my kind come next year. I enter my last, and favorite, period of the school day, art. "Heeeeeeeeeello you little punks!" Mrs.Amy calls out. I see her playing her jet white acoustic/electric guitar. I can tell she's playing "Wish you Were Here" by Pink Floyd. She has to be my favorite teacher ever. She just started working here a couple of months ago. One of these days I want to ask her how to play that song. I've been learning guitar for about a year now, and my guitar teacher has been even helping me train my voice. Even though I wouldn't ever become a singer nor a guitar player for a living. Writing is my passion. I just have a special way with words.
"All you stinkers sit down and listen to this new song I made up." Mrs.Amy's fingers gracefully move around on the neck of the guitar. As she's just getting into the groove of it the bell rings. She sighs and the kids ask her to play more. "I'm sorry dears but I assume I do have to teach once in a while. We all know what happened last week when the principle caught me playing for you guys during class." All the kids start groaning as she places that beautiful guitar in it's case. "Well, I guess I could play when you punks start working on the knew sculpture project I thought up. Don't worry, I think you guys will enjoy it." She starts writing things on the board.
Becky taps on my shoulder from behind me. "Piss!" I sigh and turn around. "What do you want?" She rolls her eyes. "Don't give me that attitude, I have important news. There is a knew dude coming here next week. I hear he is going to have a body guard with him in every one of his classes!" I scrunch my nose, what the hell is she blabbing about? I don't think that's even allowed. Poor guy, he must really be a nerd. "What's his name?" She puts a hand on her chin for a minute. Then she snaps her fingers and looks at me. "Andy Biersack!" My eyes widen and my hands begin to sweat even more then usual. "Do you know him? He doesn't ring a bell to me." I turn around in my seat with my jaw hanging open. No way in hell is it really the famous Andy Biersack, one of my idols, and one of my crushes. Well, I'll have to wait till next week. It's probably just another nerd...
Update please!
3/12/14