Daughter of Anarchy ON HOLD

he didn’t open his eyes that day, and the hospital basically kicked us out at night. so we walked to my fathers house, in the pouring rain. but i didn't want to call the club, not after they said i had to lay low with revenge. “Raven?” Andy broke the silence, since the club left the hospital, we barely spoke a word to each other.
“did you avoid me the last 5 weeks?” he continued softly when i didn't answer him.
and again i didn't answer, i didn't know how, cause i didn't know if i did avoid him.
“i kinda did the same, i know, i don’t want things to be awkward between us”
i still didn't react to him.
“look Raven, you’re brother is my best friend, and you’re brother. i see how much he wants to protects you from, wel everything, i want that too” he spoke softly, barely hearable above the sound of the pouring rain.
“is that why you followed me?” i stopped walking and looked him right in his eyes.
“i followed you cause i care about you” he defended himself.
“i don’t care, it was stupid, reckless, dangerous!” i raised my voice, just a little.
“and it wasn't for you?!”
“of course, but i know this kind of danger!”
“you think you know it, you're just 19”
“and you're the mature one cause you’re 1 year older?”
“no, of course not”
“why do you even care that much, you just a friend of my brother, after we kissed you avoided me, the message was pretty clear that you want nothing to do with me” i said, and without waiting i walked away from him. i hated how vulnerable he made me feel the last few weeks, cause i didn't knew how to act around him, didn't knew what he wanted from me, i didn't even knew what i felt for him, or i didn't want myself to knew, every time he got in my head, i pushed him out. just like i pushed him away now. “you avoided me too Raven” his words made me turn around, never made anyone outside my family feel this vulnerable. “wel great minds think alike” i wanted to turn around and walk away from him, make the distance between us even bigger. but the way he looked at me, i just couldn’t.
“then please explain to me, why you're stuck in this world of yours, while you're just 19”
“yes i’m just 19, but i grew up in this world, i know nothing else! they are my family! the girls of my school got dolls for their birthday, i got knives. the girl next door asked for a pony for Christmas, i asked for a gun. on their sweet 16 they got a car, i got my bike. when they got their first period, i got my first bullet wound. i grew up in a different world than you, but its a world i know, a live i’m good at, i can’t…” but he didn't let me finish my sentence. without any warning, he walked up to me, erasing every little bit of space between us.
just to press his lips on mine.
it was careful, soft, and loving. softly he buried one hand in my hair, and the other rested softly on my cheek. for a moment i stood there frozen, his lips on mine. but i answered his kiss as soon as i realised that he was kissing me, finally he stopped walking away, finally i stopped walking away. i opened my mouth, answered his kiss, and laid my arms around his neck, pulling him as close as possible. i don't know how long we stood there, i just know we we’re soaked by the rain when we stopped kissing. “i just wanted our first kiss to be real, not when we we’re drunk, and didn't even remember it the next day, thats why i care” he mumbled, his face still extremely close to mine.

Notes