A Warrior Of Youth

Lissas POV

Things are finally some what better. Me and Jake have been boyfriend and girlfriend for nearly six months and things have been going well with us.
As for at school, it was still bad. Myself, Jake, Jinxx or Sandra would get beat up every week and nothing was done about it. Whether they were just passing us in the halls or we did something in music class to provoke them, we got it. There is so much tension between all of them because there is history, but there is pure hatred for me. I always got beat up the worst, but I wouldn't dare show Jake the bruises on the day I got them. They always got me when I wasn't with Jake. Jake wanted to change his class schedule to match mine, but I told him it wasn't necessary.
Jinxx and Sammi are still together, despite not spending any time together at school, they manage to deal with the problems I have caused for them. I'm glad they can work it out. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if they broke up. Me and Jinxx never kissed again. Even though I knew he wanted to. He would always give me looks and smile, but I was with Jake. I couldn't cheat on Jake.
And, as for myself. I have started to eat again, but still very small amounts. I'm yet to put all the weight back on. When Andy and the others found out me and Jake were actually together, it got bad for a while. I was getting beat up almost daily, but they got bored after a few weeks. My cutting got bad during that time. I almost let myself bleed out one night, but I just kept reminding myself that I would never see Jake again if I did. He was my motivation and inspiration to live. He still doesn't know I cut. I always kept it to my legs and since the weather was getting colder I was always wearing jeans. I never saw the point in telling him. Until now...

Christmas had just passed and new years eve was coming up. My Christmas was uneventful and boring. My parents made me come to a family get together, but I was texting Jake the whole time. Christmas just reminded me too much of Benji. How we would both pitch in to buy a present for mom and dad. This year, it was just me.
I tried to keep my mind off it by distracting myself with new years.

"So, we'll have the whole house to ourselves?" I asked Jake the day before new years eve. We were lying in his bed, watching a movie, like we normally do. It was too cold to go out.
"Yeah, Jinxx's parents are going away for a few nights, so it will be me, you, Jinxx, Sammi and Sandra."
"Sounds like a plan. Are we allowed to stay over?" I asked thinking that maybe it could be the night that we do it.
"Yeah, of course. He wouldn't let anyone go home who has been drinking" he said kissing my forehead.
I looked up at him to kiss him properly. His soft lips gently kissing mine. He moved down and started to kiss my neck, unzipping the jacket of his I was wearing as he went.
I let out a small moan as he kissed my breasts. One of my hands tangled in his thick black hair as the other one grasped a handful of blanket.
I was still a virgin, but we had done everything but. If he went down on me I always made sure it was dark if my scars had healed or I'd give the excuse I was on my period if I had made fresh ones. I just couldn't bring myself to tell him. I wanted to, but I didn't know how.
I felt his hands massage my breasts over my bra and tank top. It was beginning to get really hard to resist the urge when Jake started like this.
I pulled him back up to my lips as my hands traveled down to the hem of his top, lifting it over his head.
He looked at me and smirked as he slid the jacket off of my arms and removed my tank top as well.
He resumed kissing my neck and working his way down. I felt his hands glide over my bony frame and hook his fingers on the waistband of my jeans. I flinched at the touch and he felt it.
"Please Liss?" He said looking up at me with those warm brown eyes. Pleading to give me pleasure.
"No Jake" I said, slurring the words from the mood I was in.
"Pleeeeeease?" He begged, kissing between my hip bones.
I wanted to give in and tell him. He was getting me so worked up, but if he kept prying I would get annoyed.
"No Jake, let it go" I said again.
"Okay, I'm getting sick of this. What is it? Am I doing something you don't like...? You just tense up when I do that and not in a good way" he said sitting up and looking at me.
There was no other time than now. I was better off telling him now than him finding out tomorrow.
"Okay, promise me you won't freak out?" I said sitting up and getting out of bed.
He looked confused, but nodded.
My eyes started to tear up as I popped the button and unzipped my jeans. I pulled them half way down my thighs to show him the varying colours in scars. Some were healed completely, others were thick red scratches that glowed.
His face seemed shocked. He just stared at them.
The longer he didn't say anything, the harder I bit down on my lip.
"Jake, please say something" I said in my smallest voice.
He got out of bed and sat on the edge in front of me. He placed his hands on my hip bones and closely inspected the scaring.
I felt tears roll down my cheeks and onto my neck.
"I'm ugly. I know" I said reaching to pull my jeans back up, but he stopped me.
"Liss, you could never be ugly" he said looking up at me. "How long have you been doing this?" He asked running his fingers over the cuts.
"Since the first time we kissed at school."
"I'm so sorry."
"Why are you sorry?" I said placing a hand on his face.
"I made you start doing this, but I'm gonna make you stop" he said as he started to kiss the scars.
"Jake, please don't" I said trying to shoo him away, but he ignored me.
He stood up and kissed me. His hands gliding over my body and pushing down my jeans. I wanted to protest, but he had turned us around and pushed me onto the bed.
I wriggled up, so my head was on the pillow and Jake straddled me. He hovered over my body, leaning his forehead to mine.
"You are so beautiful" he whispered. He then started kissing down my neck, over my chest and down my stomach. I felt his fingertips run over each of my cuts, then kissing them.
"Whenever you feel like cutting, I want you to call me, or text me and I'll be by your side. I don't care when, I'm here for you Liss" he said crawling back up my body and kissing my cheek. "Promise me?"
"Promise" I said giving him a small smile.
He cuddled me to his chest and I listened to his heartbeat.

Notes

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-Tina xx