A Warrior Of Youth
Chapter Fourteen: Swipe of the blade
Jakes POV
After Sandra arrived at Lissa's car I left for my own. My car was on the other side of the lot, which meant walking past Andy's car.
His car was in the row before mine and they were all huddled around it. Andy, Scout, Ashley, CC and Ella. She was telling what she witnessed for sure.
Ella caught my eye and glared at me as I walked past. The others joined in, but I tried to ignore them. I wondered where Jinxx was.
My question was answered when I reached my car. Jinxx was casually leaning against it, waiting.
"Hey man, what you doing here?" I asked as I approached.
"Just wanted to see how you are. It's weird you not hanging out with us anymore. All Andy can talk about is how much he hates you talking to Lissa and then we have Ella who hasn't shut up since you dumped her. What happened there?" He asked, not moving from my car.
"She put Lissa in hospital. Our group was never about bullying. We use to have fun. Maybe some light name calling and shit, but never like this. Ella got so jealous about me talking to Lissa that the girls threatened her. Ella gave her a concussion! If she was so concerned, why didn't she just talk to me?" I asked not actually looking for an answer.
Jinxx looked a little shocked. "Did she really do that? I thought she was in hospital cause she attempted suicide..."
"That's a lie" I said sternly and giving Jinxx a glare.
"Okay, okay, chill. I didn't really believe it anyways. I know what they said... About her brother. Is that true?" He asked carefully.
"Yeah, that's true. I don't think she has really processed it yet" I said leaning against the car next to him. "It's so hard, you know? With Andy treating her like shit, she's worried that he'll do the same to me" I said starting to ramble on.
"Jake, Andy won't touch you. He knows that you're stronger than him. They rather hate on Lissa anyways."
"But I don't want them to! Did you see what Andy did to her today?" I asked.
"No. What did he do?"
"He tried to choke her. Making those bruises on her neck."
"I thought that was from her making herself throw up?"
"Another lie. Scout just blurted it out and made Lissa to go along with it, so she wouldn't rat out Andy."
"Wow, they are really making Lissa dig her own grave at this school. Doesn't help that she's friends with Sandra. Are you okay with all this?" Jinxx asked, putting a hand on my shoulder.
"I'm okay. Just worried. Lissa is focusing on all the negative. She thinks it will get worse" I said explaining our situation.
"She's right though. Ella told me about the kiss before I came here. You guys are in for it."
"There's got to be a better way to sort this out. I mean, she hasn't done anything!"
"I know Jake. What they are doing is unfair, but I think you'll come out okay. I've missed hanging out with you."
"Me too."
"You could always drop me off home? We can always hang out for a bit?"
"Sure, get in" I said smiling. Would be nice to forget about things for a while.
Lissas POV
I broke the plastic of the shaving razor and just held the blade between my fingers. I locked the bathroom door in case my parents woke up.
I could feel my palms starting to sweat as my mind flooded with thoughts of Jake. What had I done? I had taken someone who was perfectly happy with his life and I ruined it! Things will never be the same for him! I fucked up!
I was about to make a cut on my wrist, but thought twice. My only rational decision tonight was to not cut on my wrists.
I sat on the edge of the bathtub and pulled down my shorts a little, just to reveal the top of my thigh.
You fuck up! You don't even deserve him!
Before I knew it, the blade was on my leg.
A lump formed in my throat as I tried to push back tears. I closed my eyes and pushed the blade deeper along my thigh. Starting from the inner and going outwards. I still had my eyes closed and I could feel it cutting through my skin. It was hurting more and more, I started to cringe at every swipe of the blade. My fingers were sticky with blood. I felt tears escaping my eyes and run down my cheeks to my neck.
I was now hunched over in pain, biting down on my lower lip to stop myself from crying out.
I opened my eyes and saw the long red dashes left on my skin. Most were budding with dots of blood and one was running a stream down the side of my leg. It was slightly deeper than rest and hurt the most.
I cleaned them up the best I could and found some bandages to wrap it up in.
I limped back to my bedroom with my thoughts on what I just did. This is how Benji felt when he cut. You feel relieved. The emotional pain is gone and replaced with physical. How much pain was Benji in? How bad were his inner demons? I wish I knew. I wish he knew how much I loved him, how much I miss him.
I felt closer to him now than I ever had.
"Oh my God!" I heard my mother yell.
It was early in the morning, but too early for me to be awake for school.
"What mom?!" I called from my bedroom.
She walked into my bedroom, holding the waste basket from the bathroom. She tilted it towards so I could see its contents and I tensed up.
"Where did all these bloody tissues come from?!" She asked glaring at me.
"Uhhh.... Oh I had a blood nose last night... So much blood" I said tiredly.
"Okay" she said calmly. "Sorry, I just remember seeing blood like this in Benji's bin one time. I don't want you to go down the same path. I love you Melissa, you know that?" She asked.
I stared at her oddly. "I know. I love you too mom."
She nodded and walked out of my bedroom.
Now I felt guilty.
Lucky I buried the broken plastic and razor underneath all the tissues. I'll have to buy a proper razor soon.
Rookie mistake. I'm gonna have to be more careful next time. Next time?
You're a fuck up! There will be a next time.
Notes
What do you guys think? Keep up the comments.
Always open to hear what you think.
Should I put a trigger warning if I do other chapters like this? Please let me know :)
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love you guys
- Tina xx
Hello everyone!
Not sure if you will read this, but here goes.
My account fucked up so I started on a new one. My stories will remain here, but Before The Angels Fell will continue on my other account 'tinamoli'
I'm so sorry about this. It is a massive in convience to us all.
4/22/15