Now You're On Your Own

My phone rings, a desolate, sad sound that thankfully brings me out of a restless, lonely sleep. Perhaps a bit of human interaction will ease the pang in my heart.

“Hello?” I whisper groggily

“HEY DARLIN’”

I cannot control the smile that sweeps over my face when I hear his voice.

He has a sort of metallic voice, mingled with a polite harshness and over excitement. He’s always like that, many people have remarked on his voice, how there really only three levels. Loud CC, Overly Loud CC, and Party CC. Sometimes, in a quiet and somewhat peaceful moment, he brings his voice down to a scratchy whisper that quips at my ear and sends tingles down my spine. Catching CC in one of his rare, quite moments is a true accomplishment.

“Hey babe” I smile

“I miss you already, and what has it been, half an hour?”

I can imagine him checking his watch, frowning slightly and then shaking it under his sleeve. If I am correct (derived from previous knowledge may I add), he is sitting with his knees drawn up to his chest with his ankles crossed, shushing the boys in the tour bus so he can talk to me

“I don’t know, I’ve been sleeping” I reply into the speaker. The cool metal of the phone brings a welcomed tingle to my flushed checks.

“ASHLEY! JESUS CHRIST SCREW OFF! STOP HITTING ME WITH PILLOWS AND LET ME TALK TO MY GIRLFRIEND WHO I HAVEN’T SEEN FOR HALF AN HOUR!” CC yells. I can tell he has put his hand over the receiver, and held the phone away from his mouth, but there it is, same old, loud CC.

I can hear him laughing, his crazy manic laugh, then a muffled sound as he puts the phone back to his ear

“So, babe, where were we?” he asks me, like nothing out of the ordinary happened. I can imagine the completely placid emotion on his face while fending off his other band mates

“You were reminding me how-“

I hear CC angrily yelling and a flump sound. I’m guessing he got hit with one of the pillows on the bus. Then a sharp flatline in the phones sound echoes and bounces off the walls. Disconnection. Hung up.

Twenty different emotions hit me like heavy bricks. Sadness, selfishness, disappointment, betrayal and a twinge of annoyance. It’s like he’s exiting my life again, true it’s only a two minute phone call, but he called me. I’m letting the selfish side of me emerge again, but I can’t help it.


I have a terrible feeling that the rest of our conversations are going to be fragmented calls – but if they are the only little pieces of CC I can get, I’m going to join them together one day and make something beautiful.

Notes

Awweee Poor Viv!
Do you recon they will get their relationship back together? Or will someone different enter their lives? Hmmmmm. Comment what you think!

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Happy reading!
~e.t.