That Was on Purpose ~ Andy Biersack *Completed

--Tessa's POV--

It was 11:00 at night, they'd done all they could. I knew that. I knew that. A heavy hearted man with skin like a gnarled oak tree came out to tell us. Everything was a blur. An absolute blur. I sunk down, my hands covering my face. Andy didn't move. He didn't speak. He just stared. That was the day my son, the product of getting over all my fears and stitching Andy and I back together, died.
It's a weird feeling to have. How do you go home and tell your son thaat their brother has died? How do you go home at all after this? How does anyone find the will to keep on going and keep on going home after what's just happened? It's beyond me.

Andy and I didn't return until late. Andy went straight upstairs. He slept in the guest room instead of ours and didnt speak to me. I had to tell Michael. He sat on his bed and cried with me, as unmanly as it was. Because we'd both just lost someone so important to us it was like losing the ability to breathe.
I finally cried myself to sleep at 3:00 after vomiting 4 times because I had to empty myself of the sick, twisted feeling in my gut. It didn't work, and I startled awake every once and a while, shaking on the bathroom floor. I eventually found the strength to crawl back into bed, wishing I had Andy to hug onto.
Wishing I had Colin here.

Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap.

I startled awake.

Michael was standing at the end of my bed, his face as red as mine. "Michael..." I said groggily, trying to cover my tear-stained face. "Mama..." Michael whimpered. He burst into tears and I pulled him into bed with me, crying into his hair. They say crying does no good, but keeping it in doesn't help much either. "Now...We'll get through this..." I said to him after I'd recoverd slightly more. "Colin...Colin would have wanted us to be happy." I said. And then it occured to me we didn't know what Colin wanted because he'd only been two. What would he had been when he grew up? What would he have liked? Would he be good at school? Would he have any girlfriends? "I just don't want him to leave yet." Michael said, wiping the tears from his eyes. "I know, I know...I don't want him to leave either. But we don't want him to be in pain....He isn't in pain anymore." I said, tears rising up my throat. Michael nodded and we laid in silence.

"Where's dad?" He asked.

"Downstairs...in the guest bedroom..."

"Why is he there?"

"I guess he needs...space." I said. He nodded again and I felt as more tears pressed my face. I can't let go just yet. Not of Colin. Our perfect family, we had everything...

I heard the front door open and close downstairs. That must be Andy. Where was he going? I sniffled and tossled Michael's hair. "Where's dad going?" He asked. "I'm not sure..." I responded. "Hey," I continued. Michael mumbled a slight, "Hm?" "Why don't we go out for breakfast tommorow...Okay?" I said. I needed to clear my mind, and I'm sure Michael did too. "Okay..." Michael said quietly. I sighed. "Try to get some sleep, hun...Just don't think about it."

Notes

Sorry, I know the past chapters have been very short and triggering for some. Thank you to @Ellie-Phant for the support on all of my stories :3 Leave me a comment and enjoy.