The Wretched And Divine
Baptized In Smoke And Misery
ANDY'S POV
As i began walking out of my dad's study, i went over the many things we talked about in my head. I was feeling pretty good about the fight but, obviously, it was too soon to tell if i'd come out alive or not. It was all for Alex though. Even though 18 is an extremely young age to die at, knowing i died for my mate and her safety is fine by me.
I smiled at the sight before me when i entered the living room. Alex was lying on top of Ashley, both sleeping, and his arms were wrapped tightly around her waist. Getting a closer view i noticed that Alex's closed eyes were puffy and red, signalling that she had been crying prior to falling asleep. I knew exactly why and it made me feel horrible that she was so worried about me.
Ash's eyes fluttered open. "Oh, hey Andy." He greeted groggily. I smiled and looked down at Alex who was still sleeping. Ashley followed my gaze and chuckled softly."Guess we fell asleep."
I sat down on the armrest at their feet. "Was she crying about me?" I asked, even though i already knew the answer. Ashley sighed and nodded.
"She's scared she's gonna lose you, Andy. God, i haven't seen her cry like that since the night she was..attacked." He looked down at her sympathetically.
"I know, i know. But i can't back out, especially not now. Beside, I'm not going to die." I argued softly.
"And if you do?" I grew silent at Ashley's question and looked down at the sleeping girl in his arms.
"...And if i do, i know you guys will take care of her." I shrugged my shoulders, trying to seem as if i wasn't at all afraid.
No i wasn't afraid of Max or dying, but the thought of leaving Alex alone in this cruel and fucked up world scared me. Even if she had the guys and my parents to take care of her, my death would make her beyond depressed and suicidal. And if she killed herself? That thought gave me the chills.
"It's not that easy and you know it. Can you imagine how heartbroken she would be? You are her reason to live and without you, fuck, i don't think she'd be able to go on. Despite losing you, my best friend, Alex means the absolute world to me. I don't know what i'd do if i came here one day and found her in the bathtub with her wrists slit or in your bed with a bottle of pills next to her." Ashley frowned. My heart broke slightly at the thought.
I looked at her and whispered, "Please don't let that happen."
"Don't look at me to prevent that, look at yourself. I know it's probably easier said than done, but the only way to prevent her from wanting to commit suicide is for you not to die." Ash spoke sternly. I nodded in agreement and smiled when Alex began to wake up.
She rolled over slightly, still on top of Ashley, and looked at me. Her eyes widened and she instantly hauled herself off him.
"Andy, it's not what it looks like! We were talking and we just fell asleep and-" I placed my lips on hers, cutting her off.
"Babe, i know. Why are you freaking out?" I questioned.
"I..I thought you would get the wrong idea since everything that's happened between me and Ash.." She stuttered breathlessly. I wrapped my arms around her waist and looked down at her.
"That's all in the past. I know why you and Ash were talking, you don't need to worry." I kissed her forehead reassuringly. She sighed and nodded.
Ashley stood up from the couch and stretched. "I'm gonna head on home." He announced. We exchanged goodbye's before he left.
We just got done eating dinner and were now cuddling in my bed, watching Edward Scissorhands. Alex ate almost her entire meal and didn't once complain, to which i was thankful for. She was doing so well and i was so beyond happy about that.
"Andy?" Alex spoke up. I hummed in reply, my focus still on the movie. "Should..Should we have sex?" My head shot over to her direction and i saw that she was blushing.
"Why?" I asked, an eyebrow raised in question.
"Well...What if you die? Don't you think we should? We've been dating for a long time and we've really only done one sexual thing." I couldn't help but laugh quietly at her question.
"You're so cute." I smiled.
Alex hit me on the chest and exclaimed, "I'm serious!" I laughed once more and nodded.
"Babe, i only want to if you're ready. I don't want you to feel obligated to have sex with me because there's a small possibility that i might die." I made sure to emphasize the word 'small', not willing to announce that there's a good chance that i will.
"I know but..." She trailed off, looking down.
"Are you ready?" I pried. She sighed and shook her head.
"I guess not."
"Then we won't. I don't want you feeling like you have to; it won't be special that way." I rubbed her arm comfortingly.
"I just want to be a good mate." Alex frowned. My eyebrows furrowed together.
"You think by not having sex with me you're a bad mate?" I asked, slightly stunned that she would ever think that.
Alex nodded "I know you want to be intimate..and you can't use your hand forever!" She exclaimed. I broke out into hysterical laughter, to the point where my ribs began to hurt. Alex chuckled slightly at my outburst.
"You act like i masterbate a lot!" I cried out, still laughing. She shrugged.
"Well from what Ash says, you kinda do..." She trailed off, grinning.
I shot her a playful glare and mumbled, "fuckin' ashley." Alex giggled cutely before turning the tv off and rolling over to do the same to the light. I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her close to my body.
"Goodnight my beautiful mate, i love you." I whispered.
"Goodnight my self-pleasuring mate, i love you too." Although i couldn't see her, i knew she was grinning.
"I hate you."
As i began walking out of my dad's study, i went over the many things we talked about in my head. I was feeling pretty good about the fight but, obviously, it was too soon to tell if i'd come out alive or not. It was all for Alex though. Even though 18 is an extremely young age to die at, knowing i died for my mate and her safety is fine by me.
I smiled at the sight before me when i entered the living room. Alex was lying on top of Ashley, both sleeping, and his arms were wrapped tightly around her waist. Getting a closer view i noticed that Alex's closed eyes were puffy and red, signalling that she had been crying prior to falling asleep. I knew exactly why and it made me feel horrible that she was so worried about me.
Ash's eyes fluttered open. "Oh, hey Andy." He greeted groggily. I smiled and looked down at Alex who was still sleeping. Ashley followed my gaze and chuckled softly."Guess we fell asleep."
I sat down on the armrest at their feet. "Was she crying about me?" I asked, even though i already knew the answer. Ashley sighed and nodded.
"She's scared she's gonna lose you, Andy. God, i haven't seen her cry like that since the night she was..attacked." He looked down at her sympathetically.
"I know, i know. But i can't back out, especially not now. Beside, I'm not going to die." I argued softly.
"And if you do?" I grew silent at Ashley's question and looked down at the sleeping girl in his arms.
"...And if i do, i know you guys will take care of her." I shrugged my shoulders, trying to seem as if i wasn't at all afraid.
No i wasn't afraid of Max or dying, but the thought of leaving Alex alone in this cruel and fucked up world scared me. Even if she had the guys and my parents to take care of her, my death would make her beyond depressed and suicidal. And if she killed herself? That thought gave me the chills.
"It's not that easy and you know it. Can you imagine how heartbroken she would be? You are her reason to live and without you, fuck, i don't think she'd be able to go on. Despite losing you, my best friend, Alex means the absolute world to me. I don't know what i'd do if i came here one day and found her in the bathtub with her wrists slit or in your bed with a bottle of pills next to her." Ashley frowned. My heart broke slightly at the thought.
I looked at her and whispered, "Please don't let that happen."
"Don't look at me to prevent that, look at yourself. I know it's probably easier said than done, but the only way to prevent her from wanting to commit suicide is for you not to die." Ash spoke sternly. I nodded in agreement and smiled when Alex began to wake up.
She rolled over slightly, still on top of Ashley, and looked at me. Her eyes widened and she instantly hauled herself off him.
"Andy, it's not what it looks like! We were talking and we just fell asleep and-" I placed my lips on hers, cutting her off.
"Babe, i know. Why are you freaking out?" I questioned.
"I..I thought you would get the wrong idea since everything that's happened between me and Ash.." She stuttered breathlessly. I wrapped my arms around her waist and looked down at her.
"That's all in the past. I know why you and Ash were talking, you don't need to worry." I kissed her forehead reassuringly. She sighed and nodded.
Ashley stood up from the couch and stretched. "I'm gonna head on home." He announced. We exchanged goodbye's before he left.
We just got done eating dinner and were now cuddling in my bed, watching Edward Scissorhands. Alex ate almost her entire meal and didn't once complain, to which i was thankful for. She was doing so well and i was so beyond happy about that.
"Andy?" Alex spoke up. I hummed in reply, my focus still on the movie. "Should..Should we have sex?" My head shot over to her direction and i saw that she was blushing.
"Why?" I asked, an eyebrow raised in question.
"Well...What if you die? Don't you think we should? We've been dating for a long time and we've really only done one sexual thing." I couldn't help but laugh quietly at her question.
"You're so cute." I smiled.
Alex hit me on the chest and exclaimed, "I'm serious!" I laughed once more and nodded.
"Babe, i only want to if you're ready. I don't want you to feel obligated to have sex with me because there's a small possibility that i might die." I made sure to emphasize the word 'small', not willing to announce that there's a good chance that i will.
"I know but..." She trailed off, looking down.
"Are you ready?" I pried. She sighed and shook her head.
"I guess not."
"Then we won't. I don't want you feeling like you have to; it won't be special that way." I rubbed her arm comfortingly.
"I just want to be a good mate." Alex frowned. My eyebrows furrowed together.
"You think by not having sex with me you're a bad mate?" I asked, slightly stunned that she would ever think that.
Alex nodded "I know you want to be intimate..and you can't use your hand forever!" She exclaimed. I broke out into hysterical laughter, to the point where my ribs began to hurt. Alex chuckled slightly at my outburst.
"You act like i masterbate a lot!" I cried out, still laughing. She shrugged.
"Well from what Ash says, you kinda do..." She trailed off, grinning.
I shot her a playful glare and mumbled, "fuckin' ashley." Alex giggled cutely before turning the tv off and rolling over to do the same to the light. I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her close to my body.
"Goodnight my beautiful mate, i love you." I whispered.
"Goodnight my self-pleasuring mate, i love you too." Although i couldn't see her, i knew she was grinning.
"I hate you."
Notes
I wanted to make this chapter kind of humorous towards the end since it's so serious and what not in the beginning so yeah! hope you guys enjoy and ily all xo
@Red Phoenix77 i wrote this back when i was about 13 (im 18 now) but i assume that my thought process was that vampires weren't undead, they were very much alive. also, i was very inexperienced when writing this story so i didn't put too much thought into things. maybe i'll re-write it one day! :)
9/20/17