The Wretched And Divine
A Feeling That's Worth Fighting For
ANDY'S POV
I was already pulling out of my driveway by the time Ashley said Alex wasn't okay. To say i was worried for her would be an understatement. I was fucking petrified for her. There was clearly something horribly wrong with her. What if her eat-...No, Andy! You can't afford to think like that. She's just traumatized from what Max did to her. That's why she's being so distant and acting out. Right?
I shook my head to rid myself of every 'what if' possibility that filled my mind. My heart was thumping in my chest and my finger was tapping nervously on the steering wheel. Pulling into Ashley's driving made goosebumps form on my flesh at the anxiety and fear of what would occur in the following hours. I realized that Jake's car was parked in the driveway as well. After killing the engine i hopped out of the car and walked up to Ashley's front door. As i was about to knock, the door opened to reveal a sympathetic Jinxx. He smiled at me almost apologetically before moving off to the side so i could come in.
"We waited for you to get here." He spoke. I looked over his shoulder and into the living room to see CC and Jake sitting on the couch, sympathetic expressions on their faces too. I nodded and followed Jinxx to the living room. My palms shook as i took a seat next to CC on one of the love seats.
"I'll text Ash, let him know we're all here." Jinxx spoke.
After a minute or two of waiting, a door opened upstairs. Every head shot in the direction of the stairs, watching as Ashley and Alex walked down the stairs side by side with their hands interlocked. It seemed like as Alex saw me she started sobbing. I opened my arms for her as she ran at me, allowing her to collapse onto my body.
"I'm s-so s-sorry!" She cried. I shook my head and rubbed the back of her head soothingly.
"Shhh, don't be sorry. I'm not mad, i'm not hurt. I'm just worried. What's wrong, babe?" I asked in a hushed tone. Alex pulled away from our embrace and looked at me with broken eyes, making my heart shatter into a million tiny pieces.
Ashley was now sat in between Jake and Jinxx on the couch across from the one i was in. He had a devastated look on his face, and i knew that meant nothing but bad news. It was silent for a little as Alex's eyes switched from mine to the ground.
"Alex.... He needs to know." Ashley sighed. She nodded and looked down again, swallowing thickly.
"I know." She mumbled. CC got up moved to the couch the other three were on to give Alex a chance to sit. She got off my lap and moved next to me. She bit her lip as it quivered.
"It's......" She started, only to begin crying again. "It's b-back!" She yelled. I instantly knew what she was referring to, making my entire world fall apart around it.
The last thing i wanted was for Alex's eating disorder to ever return.
"And....I cu-I cut myself." Alex confessed. I sighed and nodded, grabbing her hand in my trembling one.
"Show him." Ashley urged. Alex looked over at him as fresh tears cascaded down her face.
"Please don't make me." She begged. I couldn't help but get worried. Is it really that bad?
"Alex, he needs to see your cuts and how skinny you have gotten." He argued softly. Alex nodded and stood up hesitantly, moving by the tv so everyone could see. I moved down the couch to be closer to were Alex stood. She sighed and grabbed the bottom of her sweatshirt before pulling it over her head and off her body. Jake, Jinxx, and CC gasped at her overly protruding ribcage. My jaw dropped to the floor at the sight. I never saw someone as skinny as her. It looked as if she lost any more weight, her ribs would rip through her skin.
Alex flipped her arms over so her cuts could be seen. There must have been over 50 littering both of her arms. Some were deep, which scared me.
"I've attempted s-suicided six times...." She admitted, turning to me and whispering, "I'm so sorry.." I felt a warm tear drip down my face at the thought.
My baby tried taking her life six times? And i wasn't there....
Alex proceeded to pull her sweatpants down before kicking them off. I felt more tears roll down my face as i saw the cuts that littered her thighs, which were almost as skinny as my arm. Her hips looked razor sharp as they stuck out further than i thought was possible and her arms were skinnier than a water bottle. It was a sickening sight. Knowing my little angel went through all of this hurt by herself killed me.
"Baby..." I whimpered as tears continued to roll down my face. Alex faced me, her crying intensifying at my hurt. She ran over to me through herself into my lap, sobbing uncontrollably. I cringed when i attempted to rub her back but had to stop since her spine stuck out so much.
"I'm d-disgusting Andy! I don't wanna be fat anymore!" She screamed into my chest. I cried harder at the realization that she still thought she was fat.
I was already pulling out of my driveway by the time Ashley said Alex wasn't okay. To say i was worried for her would be an understatement. I was fucking petrified for her. There was clearly something horribly wrong with her. What if her eat-...No, Andy! You can't afford to think like that. She's just traumatized from what Max did to her. That's why she's being so distant and acting out. Right?
I shook my head to rid myself of every 'what if' possibility that filled my mind. My heart was thumping in my chest and my finger was tapping nervously on the steering wheel. Pulling into Ashley's driving made goosebumps form on my flesh at the anxiety and fear of what would occur in the following hours. I realized that Jake's car was parked in the driveway as well. After killing the engine i hopped out of the car and walked up to Ashley's front door. As i was about to knock, the door opened to reveal a sympathetic Jinxx. He smiled at me almost apologetically before moving off to the side so i could come in.
"We waited for you to get here." He spoke. I looked over his shoulder and into the living room to see CC and Jake sitting on the couch, sympathetic expressions on their faces too. I nodded and followed Jinxx to the living room. My palms shook as i took a seat next to CC on one of the love seats.
"I'll text Ash, let him know we're all here." Jinxx spoke.
After a minute or two of waiting, a door opened upstairs. Every head shot in the direction of the stairs, watching as Ashley and Alex walked down the stairs side by side with their hands interlocked. It seemed like as Alex saw me she started sobbing. I opened my arms for her as she ran at me, allowing her to collapse onto my body.
"I'm s-so s-sorry!" She cried. I shook my head and rubbed the back of her head soothingly.
"Shhh, don't be sorry. I'm not mad, i'm not hurt. I'm just worried. What's wrong, babe?" I asked in a hushed tone. Alex pulled away from our embrace and looked at me with broken eyes, making my heart shatter into a million tiny pieces.
Ashley was now sat in between Jake and Jinxx on the couch across from the one i was in. He had a devastated look on his face, and i knew that meant nothing but bad news. It was silent for a little as Alex's eyes switched from mine to the ground.
"Alex.... He needs to know." Ashley sighed. She nodded and looked down again, swallowing thickly.
"I know." She mumbled. CC got up moved to the couch the other three were on to give Alex a chance to sit. She got off my lap and moved next to me. She bit her lip as it quivered.
"It's......" She started, only to begin crying again. "It's b-back!" She yelled. I instantly knew what she was referring to, making my entire world fall apart around it.
The last thing i wanted was for Alex's eating disorder to ever return.
"And....I cu-I cut myself." Alex confessed. I sighed and nodded, grabbing her hand in my trembling one.
"Show him." Ashley urged. Alex looked over at him as fresh tears cascaded down her face.
"Please don't make me." She begged. I couldn't help but get worried. Is it really that bad?
"Alex, he needs to see your cuts and how skinny you have gotten." He argued softly. Alex nodded and stood up hesitantly, moving by the tv so everyone could see. I moved down the couch to be closer to were Alex stood. She sighed and grabbed the bottom of her sweatshirt before pulling it over her head and off her body. Jake, Jinxx, and CC gasped at her overly protruding ribcage. My jaw dropped to the floor at the sight. I never saw someone as skinny as her. It looked as if she lost any more weight, her ribs would rip through her skin.
Alex flipped her arms over so her cuts could be seen. There must have been over 50 littering both of her arms. Some were deep, which scared me.
"I've attempted s-suicided six times...." She admitted, turning to me and whispering, "I'm so sorry.." I felt a warm tear drip down my face at the thought.
My baby tried taking her life six times? And i wasn't there....
Alex proceeded to pull her sweatpants down before kicking them off. I felt more tears roll down my face as i saw the cuts that littered her thighs, which were almost as skinny as my arm. Her hips looked razor sharp as they stuck out further than i thought was possible and her arms were skinnier than a water bottle. It was a sickening sight. Knowing my little angel went through all of this hurt by herself killed me.
"Baby..." I whimpered as tears continued to roll down my face. Alex faced me, her crying intensifying at my hurt. She ran over to me through herself into my lap, sobbing uncontrollably. I cringed when i attempted to rub her back but had to stop since her spine stuck out so much.
"I'm d-disgusting Andy! I don't wanna be fat anymore!" She screamed into my chest. I cried harder at the realization that she still thought she was fat.
@Red Phoenix77 i wrote this back when i was about 13 (im 18 now) but i assume that my thought process was that vampires weren't undead, they were very much alive. also, i was very inexperienced when writing this story so i didn't put too much thought into things. maybe i'll re-write it one day! :)
9/20/17