The Wretched And Divine
When You Can't Take Anymore
ALEX'S POV
I internally groaned when the guys decided to order pizza. It's not like i could deny eating any of it, no way that's extremely suspicious. They were all acting very weird, especially Andy. I would catch them staring at me and whispering things to each other. Could they possibly know? No way, how could they possibly know? I'm a master at hiding my feelings. At least i hope... Too soon for my liking, the pizza came. Dread washed over me as Andy started handing out the greasy calories served on a plastic plate.
"Here's your pizza." Andy said, handing me a plate with two big slices of pizza before handing me a glass full of Pepsi. My eyes widened at the amount of food i was going to have to eat. I took a deep breathe and fought back tears before taking small bites out of my first slice. I could practically feel myself getting fatter, something i would not allow. I could not allow.
I knew something was up when i noticed the guys watching me eat very closely, as if they expected me to do something. I quickly ate the first slice, already deciding it was too much. It seemed like no matter how many bites i took, the pizza just wouldn't go away. I ate half of my second slice and drank half of my Pepsi before placing them both on the coffee table with a frown upon my face.
"I'm going to the bathroom, i'll be right back." I announced, getting up. Andy stood up too. I gave him a confused look. Why is he following me?
"I'll come with you, i gotta go too." He laughed slightly, shrugging. The guys were watching closely, paying no attention to Andy but me. I shook my head and laughed, putting on my best fake smile. I was getting good at it, in my opinion.
"I don't really have to go all that bad, you just go." I said before walking around him and plopping myself down on the couch. I was still in a good amount of pain but i learned to deal with it.
Max was to blame for the pain i'm in, for the fact that i'm not a virgin anymore. It's his fault my eating disorder came back, why i have to be so secretive and lie to the people i care about most. I hate him with a burning passion, he ruined my life. I hope that someday he gets what he deserves. Andy soon returned to my side and sat down next to me. He smiled at me sweetly before placing a kiss upon my forehead, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.
"Who wants dessert!" Ashley spoke up. Everyone cheered happily in approval, but i shook my head no. I mean, i already had two slices of pizza and almost a whole glass of soda! That's a lot more then i planned on having. I'm already fat enough i don't need to add onto that.
"I'm gonna pass, Ash. I'm going to bed. Night guys." I denied before getting up. There were whines of protest as i trudged up the stairs. I don't know why but a flash of sadness washed over Andy's eyes. Why is he sad?
I couldn't purge because the guys seemed to be more cautious when it came to me and everyone was awake, someone could easily walk in on me. I decided to just crawl up into a ball on Andy's bed and try to sleep it off. Sleeping seemed to solve everything or at least make me forget about my problems for a while. It was like death without the commitment.... I liked that. If i purged i felt like shit and if i didn't purge i still felt like shit. It was a continuous cycle of me feeling like shit. I could never win. It sucked, but what was i going to do? I couldn't stop, i simply couldn't.
Soon enough i felt a body crawl in next to me, immediately knowing it was my Andy. I felt one of his arms wrap around my waist protectively, making me feeling safe in his embrace. I smiled slightly at the gesture. He kissed my head a few times before nuzzling his face in my neck and mumbling,
"I love you, beautiful. Sweet dreams my angel."
I internally groaned when the guys decided to order pizza. It's not like i could deny eating any of it, no way that's extremely suspicious. They were all acting very weird, especially Andy. I would catch them staring at me and whispering things to each other. Could they possibly know? No way, how could they possibly know? I'm a master at hiding my feelings. At least i hope... Too soon for my liking, the pizza came. Dread washed over me as Andy started handing out the greasy calories served on a plastic plate.
"Here's your pizza." Andy said, handing me a plate with two big slices of pizza before handing me a glass full of Pepsi. My eyes widened at the amount of food i was going to have to eat. I took a deep breathe and fought back tears before taking small bites out of my first slice. I could practically feel myself getting fatter, something i would not allow. I could not allow.
I knew something was up when i noticed the guys watching me eat very closely, as if they expected me to do something. I quickly ate the first slice, already deciding it was too much. It seemed like no matter how many bites i took, the pizza just wouldn't go away. I ate half of my second slice and drank half of my Pepsi before placing them both on the coffee table with a frown upon my face.
"I'm going to the bathroom, i'll be right back." I announced, getting up. Andy stood up too. I gave him a confused look. Why is he following me?
"I'll come with you, i gotta go too." He laughed slightly, shrugging. The guys were watching closely, paying no attention to Andy but me. I shook my head and laughed, putting on my best fake smile. I was getting good at it, in my opinion.
"I don't really have to go all that bad, you just go." I said before walking around him and plopping myself down on the couch. I was still in a good amount of pain but i learned to deal with it.
Max was to blame for the pain i'm in, for the fact that i'm not a virgin anymore. It's his fault my eating disorder came back, why i have to be so secretive and lie to the people i care about most. I hate him with a burning passion, he ruined my life. I hope that someday he gets what he deserves. Andy soon returned to my side and sat down next to me. He smiled at me sweetly before placing a kiss upon my forehead, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.
"Who wants dessert!" Ashley spoke up. Everyone cheered happily in approval, but i shook my head no. I mean, i already had two slices of pizza and almost a whole glass of soda! That's a lot more then i planned on having. I'm already fat enough i don't need to add onto that.
"I'm gonna pass, Ash. I'm going to bed. Night guys." I denied before getting up. There were whines of protest as i trudged up the stairs. I don't know why but a flash of sadness washed over Andy's eyes. Why is he sad?
I couldn't purge because the guys seemed to be more cautious when it came to me and everyone was awake, someone could easily walk in on me. I decided to just crawl up into a ball on Andy's bed and try to sleep it off. Sleeping seemed to solve everything or at least make me forget about my problems for a while. It was like death without the commitment.... I liked that. If i purged i felt like shit and if i didn't purge i still felt like shit. It was a continuous cycle of me feeling like shit. I could never win. It sucked, but what was i going to do? I couldn't stop, i simply couldn't.
Soon enough i felt a body crawl in next to me, immediately knowing it was my Andy. I felt one of his arms wrap around my waist protectively, making me feeling safe in his embrace. I smiled slightly at the gesture. He kissed my head a few times before nuzzling his face in my neck and mumbling,
"I love you, beautiful. Sweet dreams my angel."
@Red Phoenix77 i wrote this back when i was about 13 (im 18 now) but i assume that my thought process was that vampires weren't undead, they were very much alive. also, i was very inexperienced when writing this story so i didn't put too much thought into things. maybe i'll re-write it one day! :)
9/20/17