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The Wretched And Divine

You Still Have All of Me

ANDY'S POV

I kept telling myself that Alex wasn't lying about looking at her bruises when i found her in the bathroom yesterday. Either way, the grimace on her face fit. Maybe i was in denial when i denied any and every possibility of a different reason. I continued to believe her, trying to think the best and not the worst.

I shook off the uneasy feeling when Alex immediately excused herself from the kitchen table after she finished her breakfast. As i completed mine in silence, i continuously told myself dozens of excuses as to why she left. I told myself i believed them, that they were true, but in the back of my mind i wasn't so sure.

"Hey baby." I greeted, walking into my bedroom. Alex was sitting under the covers with the same broken look on her face.

Walking over to the bed, i leaned down and kissed her. I couldn't help but grimace at the taste of her mouth.

Mint mouthwash.

"Did you brush your teeth?" I asked skeptically. Alex looked up at me with an almost frantic expression, but as usual i shook it off as nothing.

"Uh..yeah! My teeth felt gross." She laughed, which made me even more skeptical. She hasn't shown any emotion other than sadness since i brought her home that night.

But no matter what i couldn't bring myself to think of that as a possibility for her odd behaviour. So i did the only thing i could do at time like this. Deny it.

"The guys are coming over. CC's really excited to see you." I laughed in attempt to bring the mood up. Alex nodded, not bothering to look up from her lap. I sighed quietly, deciding to leave her alone for now. When the guys come over i can talk to them.

After a few minutes of dead silence i started scrolling through the album i named "baby girl♥" that contained over a hundred silly and cute pictures of Alex and i. Ranging from the first picture we ever took together to our first date. I smiled at the happy expression on her face in every picture, frowning when i looked up to see her fighting back tears. I locked my phone and put it in my pocket before getting up and walking over to Alex, engulfing her in a hug. I heard her sniffle slightly but soon she pushed my arms off her and stood up.

"I'm fine." She lied, walking past me. I was taken aback, she was never distant towards me. In fact, Alex found comfort in my hugs especially when she was feeling down. I heard the doorbell ring and sighed before making my way downstairs and letting my friends in.

"Where's Alex?" CC asked, curious as to where his best friend is. I looked up at him and sighed, something i've been doing a lot today.

"Out on the back deck. She's been out there alone since you guys got here. She's being so distant today. I noticed her on the verge of crying earlier and when i went to hug her she just shook me off, mumbled 'i'm fine', and went to the back deck. And i can't help but notice her odd behaviour." I explained.

"Maybe she just needs to be alone, but i would say keep an eye out for her. Y'know, she shouldn't be by herself for too long, that's dangerous. And don't take it personally, Andy. But what do you mean by odd behaviour?" Jinxx asked. The guys were watching me closely, occasionally glancing towards the back door to see what Alex was up to.

"I know, it just sucks. She normally loves being comforted by me at times like this. And she's just acting really sketchy. Today at breakfast, as soon as she finished, she excused herself and went to the bathroom. When i finished i found her in my bed and when i kissed her, i tasted my mouthwash. I asked her if she brushed her teeth and she got this almost frantic look on her face, before saying yes. Then she smiled and laughed. Weird right? Yesterday i walked into the bathroom and she had her shirt pulled up and was staring at her stomach with a frown on her face. When i asked her what she was doing, she said she was staring at the bruises. But it wasn't convincing at all. I don't know, i keep telling myself i have nothing to worry about but i'm not so sure about that." I sighed. It was silent for a few minutes.

"Do you think her eating disorder is back?" CC shakily whispered. I shook my head rapidly and covered my ears with my hands, refusing to even consider that as a possibility.

"That is possible, Andy. As much as i hate to admit it. She could find herself disgusting now, all the old negative feelings she had towards herself could be back. Just keep a close watch on her. Stop her from going to the bathroom after eating or go with her, compliment her, stuff like that. The last thing you can do is hope and pray that an eating disorder is not the case." Jinxx shrugged. I nodded, glad i went to the guys for help. They always know what to say, especially Jinxx.

Our heads turned towards the sound of the back door opening. Alex emerged from the kitchen, her eyes puffy and bloodshot. I gestured for her to come sit by me and protectively wrapped my arm around her shoulders when she sat down. I kissed her head then her cheek then her nose, smiling when she giggled slightly but frowned when she stopped herself. Why can't she let herself enjoy what she used to?

"You're beautiful, so perfect. Like an angel." I murmured into her ear. She shook her head slightly before quickly correcting herself and nodding. Alex kissed me and smiled, fakely.

It was strange, her legs we're nearly skin and bone, still recovering from her previous ED. She had a bigger thigh gap then most girls. Her hipbones protruded and i could fit my entire hand around her arm and have my fingers almost touch. She doesn't have an inch of fat on her. But still, she had the same behaviour she did before. Could it be true?

Does Alex have an eating disorder again?

Notes

so Andy is gonna keep a close watch on Alex!! what do you guys think?

Title Credit: My Immortal - Evanescence

Comments

@Red Phoenix77 i wrote this back when i was about 13 (im 18 now) but i assume that my thought process was that vampires weren't undead, they were very much alive. also, i was very inexperienced when writing this story so i didn't put too much thought into things. maybe i'll re-write it one day! :)

leeexiij leeexiij
9/20/17

Not entirely sure why vampires would need to worry about protection . Since they're already undead , they wouldn't have to worry about diseases , and I seriously doubt that she's gonna get pregnant .

Red Phoenix77 Red Phoenix77
8/6/17

@Katerina Michaelis of course! :)

leeexiij leeexiij
3/20/16

@leeexiij Thank you very much! I already wrote that you are the author of this fanfic. :)

@Katerina Michaelis sorry for the late reply but of course! please credit me, though. :)

leeexiij leeexiij
3/16/16