My Romeo

"Why do you have a gun?" He repeats.

I stand in the doorway speechless. What am I supposed to say? Oh last night I watched one of my best friends die and then I killed my ex boyfriend. If Alex knew, there's no doubt in my mind that he wouldn't tell the police. He's a trustworthy guy, but I don't think he'd be able to live with knowing I killed a man and got away clean. Well I haven't gotten away clean yet. I still need to get a little help on that part. "Alex it's not what you think." I manage to spit out.

"Were you going to use this on yourself?" I nod to keep him from the truth. The tears start to fall and Alex rushes to my side. "Don't ever think of doing something like this again. You are smart, talented, funny, kind, and most importantly you're a beautiful girl, inside and out. I don't know what I would do if I lost you." He says sitting me down on my bed and giving me a great big bear hug. He places the gun down on my pillow and turns to me. "When did you start feeling this way?"

"Look Alex, you may think you know me, but you don't. I haven't been completely honest about my past because there's a big part of me that's embarrassed about the things that have been done to me. I'll just tell you that shit happened to me by my parents when I was young and up until they died."

"I have an idea what was done to you." I look at him waiting for him to say it, he finally gets the hint. "I know your father raped you." He says slowly.

"Well I just found out he wasn't even my real father. My father is a rich drug dealer, and that dead man did more than rape." I lift up my shirt to show him the scar on my rib cage. "He beat me so hard he broke three ribs. When one of my ribs broke, the sharp end of it damaged the membrane around one of my lungs. That caused a thing called pneumothorax. Pneumothorax is when there's trapped air between a lung and the chest wall. It causes great pain and difficulties breathing. The doctor said most of his patients that come in with pneumothorax don't need treatment. Doc said that there was too much air and they had to give me treatment by sucking the air out through tubes. He left me this scar so that I could never go a night without him in my nightmares."

"Scar I know what you've been through, I never had to go through that but have you ever just looked in the mirror? They did that to you all your life and now that they're gone you're going to let them win? That's not the girl I know. You are more strong than you thought you were so keep on being strong, trust me that the worst is over. You are safe now, and you don't need that gun." He squeezes my hand. I know he cares, but I can't be around anyone right now.

"Alex, I know I said we'd hangout but-"

"You get some rest, and please don't use that gun on yourself, I still want to see that pretty face Monday morning." He kisses me on the forehead, picks up on his things, and exits my apartment.

I release a sigh of relief and put my gun in my drawer. I get up and leave my room, I can't be in the same room with it. It brings back memories, memories I would give anything to forget. I walk out into the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of wine, and retreat to the couch. I turn on the tv and flip through channels, but nothing's on. I drink about half of the bottle before deciding to get up again. I stubble around and grab my lighter from my room. I turn on some music and, start dancing and singing along. I relight the candle next to the picture frame that holds a picture of me and Mitch Lucker. Back in 2011, Ricky scored us tickets to a Suicide Silence concert, and I got to meet him. That was one of my best memories, something I could never forget. Soon I empty the bottle and the darkness calls for me.

Notes

Sorry for the short chapter, but I promise the next chapter will be better, this one's just a filler. Oh and sorry for not updating I've been sick in a way that I couldn't even move. I will update soon and there will be a twist!

love ya<3