I am about to get married with a rockstar. A ROCKSTAR. A famous ROCKSTAR! I’m just surprised that this is happening to me. I need to thank Jessica. Without her, I’d be sitting at home, possibly with Noah, watching TV and getting fat.

If it wasn’t for her, Andy and I would never meet again. But, that’s what I used to want. Now, I want him again. He’s the most important person in my life. I love him so much and I can’t imagine life without him. And I am scared. Scared if a new life. A new life while having my last name change to Biersack. But there’s one more thing.

I’ve been pregnant twice and I’ve lost both of the babies. What if it happens again? Every time I’m pregnant, every time I lose it! Why does it happen to me? ME?! Am I a bad person? Is it because I aborted my first child with Andy?

I hope that if I ever get pregnant with Andy’s child, I’d do anything to bring it here. I’m not gonna lose HIS child. NO. If I lose it, I’ll kill myself.

Sometimes I think what I’m doing is wrong. But it’s not letting me do what I wanted. I wanted to HATE Andy. But I ended up engaged to him. I love him to death and beyond. He’s my one and only.

Notes

Sorry it's short Dx I'm just adding some fillers and updates. I'm busy with school, that's why I wasn't up for 3 days or so. I just found some time now to get this thing together and update.