"Feel okay?" Monroe whispers as she examine my belly with a white stick thing. "Am i hurting you?"

"No." Shaking my head side to side. "How do you know Andy?"

She looks up and a sudden fear spreads across her face. "I uh..." she cleared her throat. "I and Andy used to date, he was my first and i his." Monroe giggles slowly lowering my white shirt. "When we are in love we seem to ourselves quite different from what we are before, don't you think?"

You can say that again sister. "Did- or do you know?" i inquire lifting myself up as she sits down across from me.

"I did, and still do. He almost killed me," Say what now? "He scared me and i left; i was not as brave as you Sam. I am shocked that you can hold on so long, hell you married the man and you are having his kids. I keep asking myself 'how does she do it?' but than i realized you made him weak, and that my friend i can't even do."

"So do you still love him?" i whisper lowering my head eyeing my bruised body.

"Sam," she sighs."Every person has to love at least one bad partner in their lives to be truly thankful for the right one." I look as she grabs my hand. "I am happy now with my husband Max, i still love Andy i do, but i will never love my husband any less."

"So are you saying Andy is my bad partner and i have not found the right one yet?"

"I am not saying that," Monroe giggles. "I am saying you are perfect for one another."

"Monroe?" both of us turned around to see Andy. "Maybe i have a moment with my wife please."

"Sure, i am going to get a glass of water." She stood up and walked out sliding the doors closed. Andy came around the bed sitting across from me with one leg tugged under his butt.

"Lets talk." he mummers with a heavy sigh.

"Okay." i nodded. "What is going on?"

"I am trying so hard to keep you safe Samantha."

"Protect me. Fight for me me. Kiss me. Love me, Hold me. Laugh with me, But don't make me fall if you don't plan to catch me Andy," Tears begin to drip down my cheeks.

Andy lowered his head as he took my hand. He looks up and his eyes were glass stained that just have been washed, tears beginning to build but the man he is."Sam i hope you understand that i want to be with you forever, But you also have to understand that i don't easily open up to people. I build walls. And you are breaking it down piece by piece and i am starting to get afraid." Oh dear.

"I always thought-" i was cut off by my own sobbing. "That i will be in fairy tale."

"Hey look at me," i look up as his finger trail underneath my chin. "I am your prince, i may not be riding a white horse or have a castle.. But i do want you, just you and that my princess is better than any fairy tale." He leans in kissing my lips softly. "I love you not because of who you are, but because you of who i am when i am with you." He stood up dragging me up with him. Andy fell to his knees kissing my belly.

"Love does not dominate; it cultivates." i whisper out of breath.

"I will die for you, and i have given you my heart to break Samantha. Please don't leave me, i promise i will do better i promise."

That send me over the top and it broke me once again. I was on the verge of leaving this man once again, but like every-time he said something that makes me ever fall deeper into the depth of hell. "In the end, its not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments you took my breath away. I won't leave you." i whisper. "I would really love to bend down and kiss you but i am too big."

A chuckle escape his lips as he push himself up. "I love you."

"I love you too."

---

I locked the door of the bathroom and walked to the mirror, my eyes wet and my hair in again in a few directions. I hate you so much right now you stupid heart.

"Its impossible." said pride. "Its risky." said experience. "Its pointless." said reason. "Give it a try." whispered the heart.

Well i tried, and got left with a bruised face, a sadist for a husband and two kids on the way.

I maybe not have gone where i intended to go, but i think I've ended up where i needed to be. Is everything going to change now? or is just me?

I look at my reflection and remembered what my dad used to say to me, "You cannot changed the cards you are dealt, just how we play the hand." for some reason i still don't know what he meant by it.

Was it something to do with love? cause it seems i lost it. i maybe threw it away in India where i want to be right now. I need a higher power. God? Satan? Allah? Man on the moon? hell Alien. Give me a sign. "Okay here i go. I am doing this." i look up the ceiling with a heavy sigh. "I am sorry if i am saying it wrong but i never done this before." i close my eyes tight and took a huge gulp. "God.Grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can, and the wisdom to know the differences, Amen." I hope u heard me?

Notes

Fav quotes?

Forgetful-Insomniacs
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