The Fire in Your Hands

I tried to process this. I felt the pit in my heart grow deeper. I didn't know what to do with this except accept it and push it out of my mind for now. I didn't need to mourn myself. I had to help my sisters through it. I heard the doors open behind me and I quickly placed the noted in my purse. I quickly stood and turned to face whoever was coming in. I saw Andy walk towards me with Karolina sleeping in his arms. I sighed in relief and walked to him, pecking him on the lips.
"The girls are outside."
"Thanks babe."
I walked to where my girls were, hearing my heels click on the tile. I soon reached three already testy eyes girls. All of them stood up to wrap themselves around me.
"I need to ask you three an important question. Momma's in there," I spoke quietly and gently, "are you three going to be okay with the casket open?" They all three looked around at each other and then nodded their heads at me. We took each other's hands, and walked into face one of the hardest moments of our lives.

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Sofly and tenderly Jesus is calling, calling for you and for me.
See, on the portals, he's waiting and watching. Watching for you and for me.
Come home, come home.
Ye who are weary come home.
Earnestly, tenderly Jesus is calling.
Calling, Oh Sinner... Come home.
Oh for the wonderful love he has promised.
Promised for you and for me.
Though we have sin he has mercy and pardon
Pardon for you and for me.
Come home, come home.
Ye who are weary come home.
Softly and Tenderly, Jesus is calling.
Calling, Oh sinner, come home.


The notes fell from my violin as it sang as an angel. That was my mothers favorite hymn. Mom's voice pouring my accompaniment in my mind. I played openly as I saw more and more people pouring in, socializing with family and friends. Some watching me. I interrupted my song as I saw someone strut into the chapel I never thought I would see again. I squeezed Andy's hand and he turned around, seeing what I saw. He protectively wrapped his arm around my waist, I felt a sick twist in my stomach.
Oh my god.

Notes