The Fire in Your Hands

I had done nothing all day but sit in my favorite window seat, and focus on my breathing. I don't cry.
Cathedral spies don't cry.
I had a constant headache. Sometimes Andy would lay behind me, setting me between his legs and my head laying on his chest. Listening to my heartbeat. I heard the girls cry all day. Sometimes Karolina would walk to me, begging for me to pick her up, but someone always shooed her away from me before I could do anything but look at her. Everyone left me alone, until maybe midnight. Hours after Andy had kissed my cheek and begged me to come to bed. Or to speak at all. I heard the old grandfather clock chime midnight, and then I heard Maryanna's sweet shaky voice.
"Sissy?"
"Yes.." I shook my head. "What?"
"Will you come pray with me?"
My heart ached again. I nodded my head. I slowly rose from my makeshift Sanctuary and kneeled on the floor, next to my weeping sister. I was emotionless.

We both were on our knees, our elbows resting on my window seat as a child at the table. We clasped our hands. Mary bowed her head, and silently mouthed words.
I was emotionless.
I was numb.
After a minute she raised her head back up, then staring out the window as I was.
In a crimson flash of fire, a million thoughts and devils of sorrow broke the door down to my heart.
A single, silent fear fell down my cheek.
All of my thoughts became overwhelming, and without my permission exited my mind in a single sentence, coming from my rough voice.

"My momma's in Heaven."

Notes

Major Shoutouts:
Ravens tail 7
a kitty for me
BlackVeiledEvanescence


i love you guys!