The Fire in Your Hands

I woke up in the rocking motion of the car. I was groggy. I was sore. I sighed heavily, closing my eyes again. I heard Andy beside me humming some song. I didn't have much more time to rest when I felt the car come to a stop, and shut off. Back at home. He took my hand, gently waking me.
I remembered how everything had changed the day before now.
I was married.
I bore two children.
I looked at Andy and he was now looking behind us, at our sleeping children in the backseat.
One more heavy sigh and reaching over I stepped out of the car, and opened the back door. Andy doing the same.
I reached in to pick up my son, still swaddled in his blue blanket, eyes staring through me.
He barely felt like a feather. It barely registered to me that I had a baby in my arms except when he moved. Andy picked up Carbon, and she started crying. His faced looked confused, thinking he had done something wrong.
"What did I do?"
I just looked to the ground. I didn't know what to say. I'm not a mother. I didn't know why she was upset either. We walked into our house and as soon as the door opened I was annoyed. Family.
andy's aunt Emily, my own aunt Sharon, all of my sisters, Gram, all four of Andy's best friends, and last of all my father.
Anger, anger and rage consumed me. I've been stabbed, shot, tased, beaten, now been through childbirth, and no way in hell was I obligated to put up with him. Andy seemed to have finally gotten Carbon calmed down and stepped into the house behind me. Everyone had been talking to me, I realized, but I stared dead on at Jack. He stared back at me with his sick smile. I held my son tighter. I resisted the urge to reach for a dagger that was no longer in place on my arm. "Well! Why don't we all go ahead and head out, I'm sure they're both tired." Everyone started talking in crowd speak again, presumably agreeing. Andy had been talking back to them. I heard nothing. I was silent.
Everyone left out of my house and I stood silent.


A few hours later I settled in. It seemed everyone bought us something for them, so we weren't completely helpless. A few outfits, pillows and blankets, bottles, a baby wearing wrap, and pacifiers.
I figured out how to feed them and once they were both presumably full, I was lost again.
"Andy?"
"What?" He didn't even look up at me, he was enthralled with Alaska in his arms.
"Where are they supposed to sleep? We don't have cribs."
"I can go out and buy some if you want"
"No I want to get a nursery set up first in the guest room."
he sat and thought for a minute and then stood up walking to the hallway closet. He brought out two baskets that we kept from Moms funeral flowers. I smiled, he always knew what to do. We put three regular pillows in each basket, they were about a foot deep. Over the pillows we put a blanket and then a baby pillow that Emily brought. I was satisfied with them, they were easy and could be kept close.
I was tired. Andy was too, his eyes were dark. I dressed them both in one of the nighttime outfits Sharon brought and then took Carbon in my arms. I kissed her as I laid her in one basket, then pulled a small quilt over her. Andy did the same with Alaska, then we picked the baskets up and took them into our bedroom, set them on the tables by our bed, then fell with each other into our own comfort, letting my eyes flutter into sleep, my family's breathing as a lullaby.

Notes

Shoutouts!

BlackVeiledEvanescence
Ravens tail 7
kitty for me