6 weeks later.

---

It has been six weeks. Six weeks of crying, hard sore nipples, and low libido move if you know what i mean. Telling Andy i am tired must be the highlight of my life. Our sex life is still intact after the baby. I did not want sex but he does, so i did what i had to do. He was frustrated and angry most of the time and it was getting tiring for me.

I indeed have been counting. More than fifty blow jobs, a few hundred hand jobs but now sex. Every night was the same. Well at least for me. Wake up breast feed, sleep one hour or two if i am lucky, cry once again. These pass weeks if i had five hours of sleep in a day i would consider myself damn lucky.

"Dude." I hear someone said. "Ally!" I opened my eyes seeing my best friend cradling Sam. "You said you are going to get us coffee, i have been waiting half and hour, instead you are standing and sleeping."

"I am tired, i am so tired." I breathed. "I can barley wash myself without falling asleep. Feels like i am dying."

"Don't you get turns watching over Baby Biersack?"

"Turns!" I laughed. "There is no turns, diaper after diaper, my nipples are bleeding and there is no turns. Andy just wants one thing and that's sex, i am not in the mood for sex cause my vagina feels like a whore house, it felt someone ripped me from the inside out and i feel sore, so sore when i pee i still bleed."

"Its normal." She cooed giving a kiss to Sam. "You have a breast pump thingy right?" I nodded. "Pump me some breast milk mama cow. Pack a bag for Sammy me and Jack are gonna look after him. Take a long hot bath, sleep till you can't anymore. Than go for a run you need it."

"I can't leave him. I will miss him." I whispered.

"Oh shut it!" She snapped. "You are walking dead, its just a matter of time you are eating brains. Go pack a bag for him. We will bring him when you can be a mother, cause last week you forgot him and thought the watermelon you were buying was Sam. Just get some sleep. Please."

"Thank you Maggie."

"Sure, anything for my nephew. "

---

36 hours later

---

"Where the hell is my son!" I hear someone bellowed. I pushed myself up and saw my husband with an anger expression. "You are sleeping?"

"Oh i am sorry. I am fucking tired. Maggie and Jack are looking after him. I needed to sleep i was going crazy."

"Maggie can barley handle a juicer, what in gods name would she handle a kid, led alone a damn baby!"

"Don't scream at me Andrew!" I yelled. "I have been working my self to and fro in this house, i clean, i do your laundry, i satisfy you and on top of that i barley had one minute to myself, i have puke all over my face, shirt, and you can say this morning in my cup of coffee, so don't you dare yell at me." I pulled of my shirt throwing it on the bed. "And you don't have the right to scream 'where is my son' you did not even give me a break, i have to wake up in the middle of the night while you sleep like a baby, cause fuck knows your baby is awake crying and in need of someone to cradle him."

"You think i am not stressed, i have shit to deal with it at work. Cause in case your forgot we are working on our new album."

"Wow, and i pushed a baby out of my vagina. Who's shit is bigger now." i walked up to him pushing him hard till he reached the wall. "Get your act together, you wanted this baby, step up and be a man before i make you into a pussy. I have had it up to here with your moaning, whining, i deserve a break, you deserve a reality check." I turned around and slammed the door shut.

The water stream fall down my body. Hell i missed this feeling so much. Just standing under the water thinking of nothing that not include, puking and diapers. I really love my son, i do. But i just need a break and Maggie gave it to me.

An hour of just enjoying the water and fog i stepped outside the bathroom walking down the stairs to be only wearing my sports bra and spanks. Even though i can't really run, i can still walk, power work. I still need to see. "Ally."

I looked up seeing Andy leaning on the counter with a cup of coffee in one hand and the other in his trousers. "Where are you going?"

"I need air, i forgot how it smells." I whispered. "What do you want?"

"I want you."

Brushing my hand over my pale complexion shaking my head. "I don't want to have sex Andrew. I am not in the mood."

"I am not talking about sex Alyssa." He groaned placing the cup on counter walking up to me. Andy grabbed my face between his palms licking his lips. "When did i last kiss you?"

"I have no idea." i mumbled dryly. "I forgot that as well."

"Do you still love me?"

"I do." I whispered. "Do you still love me."

"I do." He nodded pressing his lips to mine, i opened my mouth slightly letting his tongue massages mine. His hand traveled up and down my back squeezing my butt softly pushing me towards his hard erection.

"Andrew." I moaned.

"I know." He breathed kissing me harder before he stepped back. "Go you need some air."

"What about you being hard," I mumbled pointing to bump in his trousers.

"I can handle it." He grumbled. "Go. Full moon tonight. Maybe you will see it."

I gave a nod and walked out grabbing my phone and ear phones on the counter.

---

It was just after six when i finally reached the beach, i was walking and walking not paying any attention to the people watching me or even dogs glaring at me, which i think its weird. I sat down on the sand brushing my hair back just enjoying the view of the ocean.

I press play letting 'My immortal' blast through my small speakers, licking my lips a single tear escaped my eye as i closed it letting Amy lee take me away with her soft words. "How is my baby?"

"He is okay." I opened my eyes seeing Jack sitting next to me. He pulled his arm around me as i rest my head on his chest beginning to cry and cry. "Shh i got you. Let it all out you have not cried in so many weeks. Let it out. You will be okay." He wrapped both arms around me cradling me like Maggie did with Sam.

Notes