I cut myself with knives and pens

Was this really happening? Christmas, stood outside in the snow, Andy kneeling down in one leg, with a small shiny ring in his hand. Black aswell.
I couldn't get my head around what's happening.
"....I....I...." I couldn't talk, I was speechless, j just stood there with my mouth in an O shape, and then I started to cry. I was in awe, I don't think this moment could have gotten anymore perfect! Had had planned out every detail perfectly at last minute, which made it a bit tipsy turny. That's what I loved about it! It was perfectly imperfect. like me and him. He was the perfectly and I was the imperfect.
His eyes were still lit up, begging for an answer.
I had to give him one. If I could find my voice.
But to was gone, I couldn't find it!
"A-Andy" that was a start
"I can't"

Notes