I cut myself with knives and pens

Almost two months since Andy had saved my life again. But this time, literally. He stopped my dad from brutally murdering me. After I had been such a bitch to him I was surprised he came to help...but he did.
After Andy had killed my father and was taken to hospital for the two stab wounds he suffered, I waited beside him every single day. I felt more than guilty for this.
It was December. Not long till Christmas. Andy had just finished his last operation. He was finally ready to leave. I opened my eyes and saw his weak, pale body come down the corridor, he was walking. He hadn't walked in weeks, months. I ran over to him, eyes flooding. I through my arms around him and sobbed into his bony chest. I couldn't breathe. I was so happy to see he was okay, after he almost gave his life because I was to stubborn to listen to him, I was surprised when I felt his strong arms squeeze me back. He held me tightly for a few minutes before his strength dropped again. I let go and pulled my hands to my face, I still couldn't stop crying. His hands cupped my face and wiped my tears with his thumb. I held onto his hand with mine. He bent forward, and planted a kiss on top of my forehead. I wasn't a short girl but next to Andy I was tiny.
"Rhian" I hadn't heard anyone call me that since we got here. He hadn't spoken to me at all, I had cried myself to sleep every night, he wouldn't even look me in the eye. It broke my heart, the thought of him hating me, the thought of him being alone through this. It was great to hear his voice. It sounded different.
"I thought I lost you" I managed to cry out through sobs "They said you might not make it."
"Hey, I'm okay now. I'm right here and I'm fine." He smiled but somehow it didn't feel right.
"I am so sorry."
"You don't have to be."
"It's my fault you're here, it's my fault! I can't bare the thought of loosing you! I am so sorry"
He stood there, staring at me for a while. I know he knew it was true but he didn't want to admit it.
"I'm sorry Rhian"
My eyes widened at his words. "What? No! Don't be sorry, you have nothing to apologise for."
"I do. I haven't spoken to you, you waited by my side and I didn't speak a word to you. You've been here the whole time, despite the days my friends and family visited, I still didn't speak to you. I can't apologise enough."
"After all you've done, you don't need to be sorry for anything. After everything you've done for me"
He pulled me into a hug again. I knew I was I love with this man, but there was nothing I could do about it.
We walked out of the hospital and towards the taxi I had called. We got inside and Andy kept his arm around me, squeezing me tightly.
I felt so protected in his grip.
We got back to my home.
"I can pay for the driver to take you home if you'd rather"
"Rhian honestly there's no place I'd rather be. It's Christmas Eve, why would I want to be alone?"
He pick d me up bridal style, despite the fact he was weak from operations and shouldn't be lifting things, he carried me indoors and put me on the sofa.
"I wanted to get you something for Christmas but....of course I haven't been able to."
"Don't worry about that. You don't need to get me anything. I couldn't ask for anything more than you being here with me right now."
I was lying in the sofa, him leaning over me, between my knees. He pulled himself forward till I could feel his pressure on me. He pushed his lips onto mine. We kissed. I was kissing Andrew Biersack! I couldn't get it through my head. The man I was madly in love with, he was kissing be me.
He moved position, not breaking the kiss, till he was above me on all fours. His his grinder on mine. It felt weird, not having any fresh cuts to be stinging right now. It was a good feeling.
He broke the kiss and ran a hand through my greasy hair (I hadn't been able to wash it for a while, I was to busy staying up for Andy).
"I'm taking you out tonight. I'm going home eggy now, getting some clothes and cleaning myself up Abit, I'm coming back at 8. We're going out." And with that he left through my front door and I was left alone with my thoughts. Happy thoughts for once. I had kissed Andy Biersack!

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