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Here's to us...

Coffin...

I looked in the mirror and sighed. I put down my waterproof mascara, and grabbed my phone. Today was the day I was dreading for days before. My moms funeral. My auntie had sorted out everything for us because me and my sister really didn't want to, and couldent bring ourselves around to do it. Andy was still here, and he was determind to stay here even though I kept telling him to go back. He didn't need to be here, but I sort of wanted him there, it made everything better when he was. I heard a knock at the door, and Andy walked in, shutting the door behind him. He walked over, and wrapped his arms around me. "You ready for this sweetie?" He asked, and I nodded, taking in a deep breath.

I wasn't ready. I never wanted this day to come, and I never wanted it to be like this. He gently kissed the top of my head, and I smiled at the feeling. "Remember I'm here for you ok? I'll be there all the time, and I'll stay there." He said, and I smiled. "Thank you Andy. It really means alot."
"Well you mean alot to me, so why shouldent I?"
"Well I did blame you a first."
"Yeah well, I would of blamed everyone if something like that happened to me." He said, and I smiled. He let me go, and I walked down the stairs, followed closely by Andy. My sister and Auntie were in the front room, and both looked at me. "Right then, shall we go?" I asked, a lump in my throat. They both nodded, and I followed them out to the car, and I sat in the back with Andy, while my Auntie drove, and my sister sat beside her.

The car ride seemed to last forever, and the whole time I stared out the window, never wanting to get there. We pulled up, and I saw people outside. I froze in my seat, watching everyone get out the car. Andy opened my door, and gently took my hand, and pulled me out of the car. I sighed, and he let go of my hand as aunties and oter members of my family came towards me, temming me they were sorry. I sighed, and something caught my eye. I saw the car pull up, and in the back was a coffin, with bright red and yellow flowers on the top, to match mine and my sisters hair. I felt a lump in my throat, and my sister began to cry. I started at the coffin, knowing that my mother was in there, and knowing that she shouldent be. A tear slid down my cheek,and we followed the coffin into the church, and sat down. The vicar began to talk at the front, and I looked down the entire time, not daring to look up an see the coffin again.

"Now we know that in life, Marilyn always kept track of everything in writing, and in her will, she wrote the following, and asked it to be read out at her funreal. Now lets start with her eldest daughter Jade. It says: Jade, you have always been a smart and intelligent girl, and I know that you will go far. You have the skills to do something amazing in your life, and you need to promise and and yourself that you will do it." He said, and she burst into tears, my auntie consoling her. "Then onto her second daughter Lzzy. It says: Sweetheart. I know for a fact that life will always be tough, and your path may not be as easy as other people, but you need to do what you have always doen which is follow your dreams, and keep going until you get there. I know that It might not come across, but I am so extreamly proud of you, and you deserve everything that you worked for.Well don sweetie pie, and continue to do me proud pud." He said, and I burst out into tears.

I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around me, and I snuggled into their chest. I could smell who it was. It was Andy. "Hey shhhh sweetie shhh. I know, I know it hurts." He whispered into my hair, and I continued to gently sob into his chest. Soon after, the ending music played, and I looked up to see the curtian pull around the coffin. She was going to be cremated, so I wouldet have to watch them bury her. I was still in Andys arms, and his grip around me tightened slightly. We were the only ones left in the church now, and he looked at me. "Come on sweetie, lets go." He whispered, and I nodded, trying to get up. Suddenly my knees went weak, and I fell down. I felt Andys arms gently catch me, and lift me back up. "Come on sweetie, I'll carry you back to the car ok."
"OK." I whispered, and he carried me bridal style out f the church.

Everyone else had walked around to see the gravestone that had been placed, and me and Andy were the only ones left. "You think you can find your feet to walk to the stone?" Andy asked, and I nodded, letting him place me on the floor. He took my hand, and walked me around to the stone. People were beginning to leave now, and there was only my auntie and my sister at the gravestone, crying. Andy and I walked over, and I looked at it. It read: Marilyn Jenson, a loving mother, sister, wife, and daughter. Died age 39.
I sighed, and let more tears fall. I hated the bastared who did this to her. She didn't deserve it at all. I wiped away my tears, and My sister took my other hand, gently squeezing it before letting it drop back to my side. "I can't stay here anymore Lzzy. I'm going back to the car, I need a minute." Jade said, running off, my auntie ran after her, and me and Andy were left. "Andy...can I have a moment? Alone.."
"Sure. I'll be at the car." He said, walking off.

I sighed, and sat down beside the gravestone. "Oh mom....I'm so sorry.I'm so so so sorry. It's all my fault Mom I'm so sorry, I shouldent of left." I cried, letting my head fall into my hands. I heard thuder above me,and it began to pelt it down with rain. I didn't care. It was all my fault she was dead anyway, so even if I caught numonia and died it wouldent matter. I heard footsteps up the path, and a wet Andy stop in front of me. "Come on your getting soaked." He said. I just looked at him, not saying anything, then looked back at the gravestone. He started at me for a minute, and then took off his jacket, and put it over my shoulders. He sat down on the grass beside me, and I looked at him. "What are you doing? You'll get soaked." I said, and he looked at me. "Well so are you, and if your staying here so am I." He said, and I smiled. "You'd really do that for me?"
"Yes I would." He said, and I felt my cheeks burn slightly.

"Come on Lzzy. Lets go please."
"If you want to go-"
"No I am not going without you. you are coming with me." He said, and I sighed. "No." I said and he sighed, getting up. He bent down, and picked me up. "What the fuck- Andy out me down!" I said, wriggling in his grasp. "No. Your coming with me and thats final."
"But Andy you don't understand she needs me!"
"I know sweetie, but you can't stay there, she'll always be with you."
"No Andy! It's my fault shes dead Anyway! She needs me to stay with her!"
"It's not your fault. It's never been your fault Lzzy." He said, carrying me back to the car, and putting me ine the back, and fastening my seatbelt.I sat there, staring into space.

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We had been home for a while now, and we were sitting, watching TV, when there was a knock at the door. "I'll get it." My auntie said, and she got up, and left the room. I looked at Andy and he smiled, taking my hand. "You ok now?"
"Yeah, I'm better than I was." I said, and he smiled squeezing my hand before letting go. My auntie walked back in, followed by a police officer. "Everyone, officer Hale has something to say." She said,taking a seat, and the officer sat beside her. "Now. You all know how your mother died, and it was trully horendus. But he was up in the cells until last night. He got out, and we think he's coming to get Lzzy, seeing as she was abused by him before her mother." He said, looking at me. I froze. He was coming after me. I felt Andy take my hand and pull me closer to him, and I let him. I wanted to feel safe, and his arms were the only place I ever actually felt safe in all my life.

"Now because we think this. This whole house is going to be under police protection, and there will always be police outside your house in case. You cannot go out without someone there, and dont ever be alone ever. The whole thing is too dangerous." He said, and I nodded. "I'll stay with her all the time." Andy said, and the officer nodded. "Good. Now I'm going to get in the car outside, and I'll be there all night until change over tomorrow. Now don't worry about it too much though, you should be fine." He said, and I nodded as he got up and left. "Don't worry sweetie. If he tries to get you he has me to go through." Andy said, and I smiled. He pulled me onto his chest, and I shut my eyes, and tried to relax, and go to sleep.