Homepage › Stories › Here's to us... › Chapter 12

Here's to us...

Painful reflections...

I grabbed my guitar, and slung it over my shoulder with the strap. I was off to see juliet and practise our piece later on. I walked to the Automatic Loveletter bus, and knocked on the door. Juliet came to the door, all smiles, her hair in a tidy side plait. "Hi, come in and I'll just grab my guitar, and we'll go outside. It's way to hot to be inside all day." She said, and I nodded, following her into the room. She grabbed her guitar, and a bottle of water, and we left the bus, and walked around, trying to find a good place to stop.

We finally decided to sit underneath a tree in the shade, and she showed me to play her song: Carry the fire. "Your awesome. I'm really looking foraward to performing with you." Juliet said once we finished, taking a sip of her water. "Same here with you,I've heard some of your stuff and your an amazing vocalist." I said, and she smiled. "Thank you. So are you." Her phone buzzed, and she picked it up, reading the text and smiling. "I'd know that smile anywhere. Who is he?" I asked, grinning at her, and she began to blush. "Just Andy....He's so sweet and we've been texting all day and night." She said, and I put on a fake smile. My insides were screaming, and I felt my heart sink lower. There was chemistry between them, and it killed me even though I couldent understand why. "Awww, do you like him?"
"Well.....he's growing on me, and I always smile when he texts me. I actually think I might. Don't you dare tell him though."
"I wont I promise, and for the record I think he might like you too."
"Really? You think?"
"Yep, I mean, you can only hope and dream, and those dreams can come true." I said. It hurt me to help her with Andy, but if they got together, this feeling I had might go away.

"Your right. Anyway, we better go. Were performing soon." She said, and I nodded standing up with my guitar, and following her to the stage. I stood backstage, and watched her sing. She really was amazing. I looked down at the other side of the stage, and I saw Dahvie and Jayy,giving me the thumbs up. I giggled, and looked to the side of them. Andy was standing there, his eys fixed on Juliet. He barley even blinked, and I felt my heart sink even lower. I sighed, and looked at her. "And now I have an amazing special guest with me today. She is an amazing vocalist and I'm sure you'll all love her, here is Lzzy!" She said, and I walked on with my guitar, and I mic on a stand. I sat down beside her, and she begun to sing.

Juliet= If this is all I have to give. These written words exposing within. And everyone has a secret of sin. Then why do I feel all alone in the end. My fists are clenched in cold. My fists unclench to hold.

Both= I carry the fire. I carry it home. I'll lead the way lighted until the breaking of dawn. Together our mistakes. The sun will shine out. I'll carry you with me. And we'll carry on, carry on.

Me= It's too late, let it show. From the underwear under your clothes. Don't tell your mother that you're running low. Don't confess to your father that you don't know. My fists are clenched in cold. My fists unclench to hold.

Both= I carry the fire. I carry it home. I'll lead the way lighted until the breaking of dawn. Together our mistakes. The sun will shine out. I'll carry you with me. And we'll carry on, carry on.

Juliet= Keep carrying on...
Me= Keep carrying on...
Both= Keep carrying on..

Juliet= Because my fists are clenched.

Me= I carry the fire
Juliet= I carry it home
Me= I'll lead the way lighted til the breaking of dawn

Both= I carry the fire. I carry it home. I'll lead the way lighted until the breaking of dawn.Covering our mistakes. The sun will shine out.And I'll carry you with me. And we'll carry on.
Keep carrying on...

The audience roared, and we both stood, bowed, and walked off. I smiled as Jayy and Dahvie hugged me tightly. "That was awesome!" Dahvie said, and I smiled, kissing his cheek. "Thank you. I really enjoyed it." I looked over at Andy and Juliet, and they were in a tight hug. They looked like they felt like no one else was in the room, just them to. I sighed, and walked over to them Juliet opened her eyes, and smiled at me. "Well done babe, that was amazing." She said, and I smiled. "Thank you, you too. I really enjoyed it."
"We'll have to do it again some time."
"Hell yeah that would be awesome." I said, and she smiled, looking back at Andy. I followed Jayy and Dahvie back to the bus, and sat down, watching videos on my laptop.

--------------------------------

There was a knock at the door. "Who the hell would come round at the time?" Jayy said, looking at the clock. It was half past midnight, and we were all still up, playing left 4 dead on xbox. He walked back in, followed by Juliet. "Hey I need to ask you adivice." She said, and I nodded, leaning her into the back part of the bus. "Whats up?"
"Errmmm...well Andy asked me out on a date, and I need your advice on what to do, what to wear. Only I want to make a really good impression because I really like him." She said. I felt my heat sink evn lower. He didn't want me, he wanted her. Why would he want me? I'm too skinny, covered in fakery, and nothing special. I hd no curves, my boobs were too big in my opinion, and no onehad ever loved me, and no one ever would. "Ermm.....the best advice I can give you is just to be yourself, don't make up a character and try to be someone your not. I've fallen into that trap and that got me no where."
"Really?"
"Really. Your a strong independent woman, he likes that type of thing, and you'll be fine. If he asked you on a date he's interested. Just be you."
"Ok. Thank you Lzzy. I owe you one." She said, and I smiled as she left the room.

Once she left, I went to the bathroom, and looked in the mirror. I hated my eyes. I hated my body, how there were no curves but yet massive boobs. I hated the way my bum was non existant, I hated how fingers where too long and boney, I hated the way my hair was to wavey and I couldent handle it, I just hated everything about me. The tears began to fall, and I wiped them away. The more I looked at myself the more I hated me. I began to get angry, and I punched the mirror, hard, smashing it. I felt some of the glass go into my wrist, causing me to cry out in pain. The guys burst in, and gasped at my arm, now leaking blood.

"What happened?"
"Oh I threw the brush and it smashed the mirror. I didn't mean to." I lied, and Dahive sighed, wrapping up my arm in bandages. "You silly billy." He said, making me giggle. "Come on. It's not safe in here, we'll clean it up properly tomorrow but now, we need sleep." He said, and I nodded, letting them lead me to my bunk.