Stormy nights
Never again
Ashley's POV
"Ashley!! What size pants do you wear!?" Britni screams from down the hallway. The fuck? What type of question is that? What size am I anyways? "SERIOUSLY? YOU DON'T KNOW YOUR OWN PANT SIZE?" She screams sorta laughing. I blush but luckily she can't see it. Even if I did know I wouldn't tell her. I don't think I'm skinny or perfect... Actually I think I'm quite fat. Is there any easy way to say this? Well... I'm anorexic. "Here Ash I'm guessing these will fit." She says coming in the bathroom with a pile of comfy looking clothes. "Leave what you're wearing in the tub... I don't water every where." She says with a slight smile before walking out of the room. I quickly change into the sweatpants and shirt she brought for me. She even had BOXERS... What the fuck? Why do they have boxers? I walk out of the room a little slow and nervous. "Ash come on! There's pancakes!!" Jinxx calls from the other room. No. Food... I can't- but... "I'm coming!!" I yell walking in the room. Britni smiles and hands me a plate. I gulp nervously and look down at the food. I see recognition flash in Britni's eyes and she takes the plate back. "Here Ashy." She says handing me a different plate with a lot less on it. I smile weakly and she nods encouragingly. Just one pancake Ashley. Just one. "Something up Ashley?" Andy asks sitting next to me. "Naw just not really hungry." I lie because in reality my stomach is empty. He shrugs and downs another 10 pancakes. I hesitantly take a bite and its like heaven. I quickly finish it and Britni smiles at me. I look down at the plate in horror. Did I? No... "Ashley come with me for a minute?" Britni asks taking my hand. I nod absent mindedly and follow her back to her room. "What's wrong Hun?" She whispers shutting the door. I shake my head and she kneels in front of me. "Ash I can tell when something's up. I know something's wrong. Something in that beautiful head of yours is telling you something that isn't healthy isn't it?" She says and I nod as tears well in my eyes. No one has ever cared. No ones ever noticed. I can't tell if its a good thing or bad thing. Her arms snake around me pulling me into her. I just want to hide forever. "Ashy what is it? You can tell me." She whispers rubbing my back. "I- I'm anorexic." I stutter before bursting into tears. She sighs and just holds me. "Shhhh... Ashley it'll be alright. I'll get you through this. I was anorexic before. Olivia helped me through it. It'll be alright," she cooes kissing my nose. "Come on Ashley I think you need to tell the guys. Not to punish you, not to hurt you more but to help you." She whispers and I start shaking. They'll hate me, they'll kick me outta the band. I nod anyways and Britni pulls me to my feet. "Never again Ashley. Never again will you be alone." She whispers as we walk back to everyone else. Never again...
"Ashley!! What size pants do you wear!?" Britni screams from down the hallway. The fuck? What type of question is that? What size am I anyways? "SERIOUSLY? YOU DON'T KNOW YOUR OWN PANT SIZE?" She screams sorta laughing. I blush but luckily she can't see it. Even if I did know I wouldn't tell her. I don't think I'm skinny or perfect... Actually I think I'm quite fat. Is there any easy way to say this? Well... I'm anorexic. "Here Ash I'm guessing these will fit." She says coming in the bathroom with a pile of comfy looking clothes. "Leave what you're wearing in the tub... I don't water every where." She says with a slight smile before walking out of the room. I quickly change into the sweatpants and shirt she brought for me. She even had BOXERS... What the fuck? Why do they have boxers? I walk out of the room a little slow and nervous. "Ash come on! There's pancakes!!" Jinxx calls from the other room. No. Food... I can't- but... "I'm coming!!" I yell walking in the room. Britni smiles and hands me a plate. I gulp nervously and look down at the food. I see recognition flash in Britni's eyes and she takes the plate back. "Here Ashy." She says handing me a different plate with a lot less on it. I smile weakly and she nods encouragingly. Just one pancake Ashley. Just one. "Something up Ashley?" Andy asks sitting next to me. "Naw just not really hungry." I lie because in reality my stomach is empty. He shrugs and downs another 10 pancakes. I hesitantly take a bite and its like heaven. I quickly finish it and Britni smiles at me. I look down at the plate in horror. Did I? No... "Ashley come with me for a minute?" Britni asks taking my hand. I nod absent mindedly and follow her back to her room. "What's wrong Hun?" She whispers shutting the door. I shake my head and she kneels in front of me. "Ash I can tell when something's up. I know something's wrong. Something in that beautiful head of yours is telling you something that isn't healthy isn't it?" She says and I nod as tears well in my eyes. No one has ever cared. No ones ever noticed. I can't tell if its a good thing or bad thing. Her arms snake around me pulling me into her. I just want to hide forever. "Ashy what is it? You can tell me." She whispers rubbing my back. "I- I'm anorexic." I stutter before bursting into tears. She sighs and just holds me. "Shhhh... Ashley it'll be alright. I'll get you through this. I was anorexic before. Olivia helped me through it. It'll be alright," she cooes kissing my nose. "Come on Ashley I think you need to tell the guys. Not to punish you, not to hurt you more but to help you." She whispers and I start shaking. They'll hate me, they'll kick me outta the band. I nod anyways and Britni pulls me to my feet. "Never again Ashley. Never again will you be alone." She whispers as we walk back to everyone else. Never again...
4/29/13