That We May Live Forever

She giggles and I swear it’s the most beautiful sound I’ve heard in what feels like forever. I study her quietly as she raises the ceramic cup to her lips and takes a soft sip. I can’t help but feel my lips tug up a bit as I see the small foam line above her lip. I reach out and gently wipe it away, our eyes meeting as I do. Her cheeks turn a light shade of pink and I pull away. We’re not here for this. I know she said she forgave me, but I still feel like a jerk for what I the harsh message I had sent her, and for pretty much telling her to fuck off before that.

As I look for the right words to start a conversation I know will be hard, I sip from my own cup. Ever since that night, things are worse. It’s hard to explain, but I still find myself clinging to the idea that this strange girl can help me. I shouldn’t put all my grief on her, she doesn’t need it. And yet, I’m drawn to her. I realize I’m staring at the table, biting my lip and quickly stop. Looking up, Delilah is still blushing. I know I have this effect on people, but for the past three months I haven’t bothered to care. Now, it’s the first of many things I notice. The second is her beautiful voice as she speaks again.

“How have you been?” Her voice is laced with sincere concern. What have I done to deserve her pity, or really even her company? My heart feels heavy knowing that three months ago, I wouldn’t have thought twice about it. Thousands of people would give anything to stand next to me. None of that seems to matter quite as much anymore. I carelessly shrug at her question. I don’t really know what to say to that. Awful, I’ve been awful. But that seems to be the new ‘normal’.

“Things have been hard, I guess. I just don’t really know what to do with myself.” I’m surprised at my honesty. At least my mouth doesn’t give out any really embarrassing stories. She looks deep in thought, and I wonder what’s going on in her mind. “I mean, I’ve been keeping myself busy, but…” I wonder how to word things properly without sounding like an idiot. Too late. “I guess the things that I always loved doing the most just don’t seem worth the time anymore. I can’t throw myself into it like I used to.”

“Maybe you should consider doing something else then.” I look up at her. She says it as if it’s just that simple, but I guess she wouldn’t understand. She doesn’t know who I am, or how many people count on me and the band. I can’t just move on. I don’t really want to. I guess my thoughts are mirrored in my face because she speaks up again soon after. “At least for a little bit. Find something that can help you get back to what you love to do.”

I sip my coffee and think it over. Is there something that can really take my mind off of the pain and help bring me back to where I used to be? Probably not…. Juliet was always the one to help keep my grounded, to kick my ass when I needed it.

“Have you ever tried modelling?” Looking up at her, I smile a little bit. It’s almost refreshing to talk to someone who literally knows nothing about you. I nod a bit and laugh lightly. God, it feels good to laugh.

“Yeah, I did a bit when I was younger. Just from like here up,” I put my hand up to the bridge of my nose and she giggles. Wow… If her voice can make me smile like this, I really have to spend more time around her. Maybe she’s the thing to distract you enough to make you better…. I pushed the idea away. She’s wonderful, but I barely know her. Well, get to know her. I look at her. Why not? Even just as a friend, having her around would be better. Wonderful.

“I have this project coming up, and if you’re interested you could be my model. It’s basic stuff, really, but it would be fun, I think.” I smile more, and can’t believe how light I feel right now.

“That sounds great. I’d love to.” I agree without even a second thought. It would give us a lot of time to hang out together, and get to know each other.

“Yay!” I laugh at her enthusiasm. “I was thinking the beach would be a good place to start. It sounds fun, right?”

“That sounds great, I can’t wait. I heard tomorrow’s supposed to be really nice. We can go then?” She smiles and nods. “Great, I can pick you up if you want? Ashley and I are going to get me a new car today.” Her smile falls slightly and I wonder why.

Delilah’s POV

Who’s Ashley? Honestly, I wasn’t sure what I was concerned about. Was Ashley a friend of his, perhaps a girlfriend? The thought of him dating some cheap blonde made me upset, and I wonder why. He wasn’t my boyfriend, but he was someone I cared about. He could even almost count as a friend, maybe sometime in the near future. After the trouble I see he’s having with dealing with his last girlfriend’s death, I really don’t think he’s ready to be dating someone. Especially not some ‘Ashley’. You’re jealous, just admit it. Well, he is a very attractive person, and I would be lying if I said I wouldn’t be happy having him by my side, but that isn’t an option right now. Besides, my parents would hate him.

“Who’s Ashley?” I try to sound impassive. I don’t want him to know that the idea someone else is close to him might bother me. I don’t have a good reason to feel that way. He looks as if something clicks in his mind and he smiles. God, that smile is beautiful. I’d love to take a million pictures of him smiling like that, especially with how rare it seems.

“Ashley’s my best friend. He’s been there for me through everything.” He? Ohhh. I blush a bit and try to hide it by finishing off what’s left of my coffee. Good job, Dee. You were jealous of a guy getting closer to him than you are. Wow. “He’s a really good guy. You should meet him. Why don’t you come with us to pick out my new car? We can get something sporty.” His grin is infectious and I nod eagerly. It does sound like fun.

We wait outside the coffee shop, sitting on a bench. Our hands are clasped together as our thumbs fight for the win. I can’t help the grin on my face as we shoot questions at each other while we goof around.

“Favorite movie?” It’s his turn to ask me, and I think briefly. His thumb ghosts over mine again, and I grin quickly moving my thumb out of the way and once more to safety.

“Hmmm…,” I glance quickly at him, giggling a bit as I notice he’s lightly biting his tongue in concentration. It’s adorable. “The Last Unicorn.” He stops and stares at me, laughing a bit. Blushing, I look at him, embarrassed. “What?”

“Explain yourself!” He sounds so serious, but I can see on his face he’s amused. My cheeks still burn red with embarrassment as I look at him.

“It was my favorite growing up.” I shrug, not really sure how else to explain it.

“Yeah, but there must be something you’ve seen since your fifth birthday that you liked more!”

“Not really. Lots of movies are good, but I just love that one.”

“Well, we’re going to change that.”

“Is that so?” I grin at him. He smirks back.

“Yes, it is so. One of these nights, we’ll have a movie marathon and I will find a movie for you to love more than a silly children’s movie.”

“We’ll see.”

ANDY’S POV

When Ashley arrives, we get into the car and I make quick introductions. Ashley can’t keep his eyes off of Delilah and it’s bugging me. I haven’t said anything about Delilah to Ashley. Knowing that Ashley was a playboy, I really couldn’t see a good reason to mention her to him. I didn’t want him to try anything with her, and I’m hoping that by introducing her like this he might back off, but it doesn’t seem that way.

“So, beautiful, how’d you meet Andy?” I look in the mirror and see Delilah’s eyes glance towards me. I don’t know how Ashley will react, but I don’t see any harm. I shrug at her and smile a bit. She seems so relaxed. I don’t remember the last time I’ve felt like that.

“We met in the graveyard.” I swear the look Ashley’s giving me right now could kill. Right now, I wish it would. I’m so embarrassed, but why? I’m not ashamed of meeting Delilah, and I shouldn’t be embarrassed about anything with Ashley. In reality, he’s probably just worried for me. He’s there with me during my worst. I’m still at my worst, and maybe that’s why I like Delilah so much. She’s only ever known me at my worst, and she still likes me. That has to count for something.

“Well, then.” That’s all Ashley says, and the car ride is quiet. The silence makes me feel uncomfortable, and I feel tense. The familiar blackness creeps into the back of my mind, and I try to push it away. Not here…not now… I don’t want her to see me like I get. It will scare her away. My hands tremble ever so slightly, and I feel Ashley look over at me again, but I don’t dare look up. I have to push away these thoughts before they get the best of me….I can’t screw this up.

Notes

I'm sorry it's short and it sucks :/ I was trying to get a good chapter, but I feel like it's really messy.

It's just so hot here, it's so hard to concentrate!!! I hope I can get everything in order in the next chapter or so...it's just hard to get them to the point where they're comfortable with each other. Cause we all know once that happens, things get a bit easier.

Hopefully, by the next chapter, if i can get my shit together enough to write a chapter where shit actually happens.

Thanks for reading, hope this wasn't too disappointing.