Wretchedly Divine (Gasping for Air)

I thought they would hit her.

I thought they would starve her.

This… this never occurred to me.

I wanted to scream as I watched everything play out before me. She was fighting, but she was so weak, ten days without any real food and limited fluids would do that to someone.

They found her just before daybreak of her eighth day alone, and now it was nightfall of the tenth. She’d been passed out for the past two days, probably recovering, but the rest she had received was fitful and disturbed. I was able to use the senses she suppressed during sleep and knew what was happening. She was with the Rebels, and they had put her on an IV to keep her from dying of dehydration, but purposefully not allowed her to eat. She’d awoken a couple of times, but they were giving her some sort of sedative and she was lucid for most of the time she’d been awake in the last few days. They’d asked her about me, about the Wild Ones, but she hadn’t been able to make a competent response. She just sort of rambled on incoherently and then went back to sleep. I’d been pretty much constantly present for the last two days except to eat and sleep and take care of the essentials, but I only really ate once, all the other times I grabbed something from the kitchen and shoved it down while I came back to my white room to be with her again. I had been gone for five minutes and this had happened. They had brought her to this room, this room with a one way mirror and a small window. I catalogued the detail for when we went to get her and tried to recall the way they had taken her, but couldn’t. They couldn’t do this.

When the slap fell down on her cheek I became livid and as she started speaking to the boy I knew well, and had always hated, Jacob Jawkins. She was in so much pain, weak and frail and tired. She didn’t deserve this. This was entirely my fault. Completely and entirely my stupidity had caused this. I should’ve just sucked up my fucking pride and told her I was alive years ago, and then she wouldn’t be in this position. I tried to convince her to stop, but she wasn’t really listening, just going off on that Jacob kid, telling him things that I had never imagined would come out of her mouth. She was telling him she never loved him, and that he was weak, making him feel insignificant. Didn’t she know that what she was doing was only going to make it worse for her in the end? She was too weak to fight back, she was barely conscious. She was using the last of her energy to beg me to help her, and I couldn’t do anything. She passed out and I pulled out of my trance.

“DAMN IT!” I screamed, clutching my hair in my hands. I had caused this. It was my fault she was suffering this way and I couldn’t even help her. “DAMN IT!” I stood and stormed out of my white room straight to where Ebe was stationed trying to track the satellite phone signal from the day before.

I was stopped from entering the room by a serious looking Jake. “She’s busy, what do you need to know?” He asked, not allowing me to enter the computer room.

“I need to know where those fucking Rebels are.” I growled at him, fury evident in my eyes.

“Why?” He asked calmly and I screamed at nothing turning away from him and letting my temper get the better of me.

“She’s starving and weak and they’re TORTURING HER!” I gripped my hair tightly in my fists.
“They’re torturing her, and it’s all my fault.” I said, leaning against the wall across from the door to the computer room, my forehead pressed against the rough surface. “The Rebels are torturing her.”

“We don’t know where the Rebel Camp is, Andy.” Jake said, as though I had somehow managed to forget that.

“I know that!” I was so frustrated. She was being tortured and I couldn’t do anything about it. I couldn’t go get her, I couldn’t save her, I couldn’t even comfort her because every time I tried she ignored me.

“Andy, Ebe is doing the best that she can, Ashley already came in and chewed the shit out of her, and she’s frustrated, the last thing she needs is for you to do the same.”

“Why the hell are you protecting her!” I yelled at him.

“Because you’re trying to take your anger out on her, and she’s not the one you’re angry at.” Jake looked at me with a soft blank expression.

I shook my head out and left, I needed a smoke.

My cancer stick was half gone when Jinxx came to stand beside me. “So tell me why you were shrieking like a banshee.” Jinxx questioned, leaning against the outside wall beside me. I shook my head.

“They’re torturing her Jinxx, and it’s my fault.” I said softly, feeling helpless. We didn’t know where they were, and we didn’t know where to start looking. We could send people searching, but we couldn’t risk losing anyone to the massive amount of heat.

“Are we sure they moved after the last battle?” Jinxx questioned, looking out at the desert.

“We checked afterwards, they’d cleared out.”

“Or maybe that was what they wanted us to think.” Jinxx said, looking at me with a challenging expression.

“You think they may’ve gone back to their old camp?”

“I think it’s a possibility we should consider now that we know who has her. How do you know who has her, by the way?”

“I’ve been keeping tabs on her, Kronus was very interested in her recovery, too interested. I knew they were going to torture but to the extent they’ve started with, I don’t even know how much worse they’ll get.” I gritted my teeth at the memory of her pain.

“Let’s have a group go out and check their old camp, if nothing else it’s a place to start.”

“Yeah,” I nodded, throwing my finished cigarette on the ground and stubbing it out with my boot. “Let’s do that, go find Ashley, and tell him to set Retrieval in motion immediately.”

“Will do.”

She won’t be there. The annoyance of my subconscious mocked me.

I didn’t care, I had to try, I had to try everywhere. I had to find her. I had to find her.

Notes

I feel like this is complete and utter shit. I mean I just feel like it didn't make sense, but I don't want to change it, because I want to get to the fun parts, which is when Ashtin in out of the Rebel hands and with the Legion. I'd say spoiler alert, but we all know it's going to happen, Anyway I have all of the stuff after Ashtin gets to the Wild Ones figured out, but all the stuff between then and now is blurry, important, but blurry, and it all feels like filler. I don't know if you know this, but filler is the worst thing ever invented by Not God.

Rant over, I will have posted a pic of Kronus by the time you've read this, if it wasn't up before you started reading this. I'm not going to give anything about Kronus away yet, because I have big plans and a really awesome back story for him. It's really amazing. I was so proud of myself when I came up with it.

OH!!! I ALMOST FORGOT!!!! It's been a while since I ranted about subscriber numbers. There are 12 now. 12 I don't know if you know this, but that's a lot XD Well, to me it is.
*People shake their heads*
*Ashtin Pouts*
JUST LET ME HAVE THIS!!!!
lol

Comment, Vote, Subscribe, but if you don't want to you don't have to, it would make me happy though ^-^
Shout out to HinaBVBLover
If it wasn't for her comment I'd have put off updating until forever, because I was having writers lazy, it's like writer's block, accept you're just being lazy. (I was halfway done and then almost decided to stop but I was like... I can't I said I would update.)
Thanks for commenting, I appreciate it ^-^

Thanks to everyone who read, ^-^
Stay Mortified,
♥ Ashtin