Love And Other Drugs
Another Crisis Adverted
Andy walked around the condo, trashbag in one hand while his other reached out to gather up more trash. How long had this party been going on? He had driven out to Santa Monica with the guys early this morning, leaving Luxe in bed to get ready to head to the studio. It was being announced today who the Dolls would be touring with and Andy knew that it wasn't going to be them.
It had crushed him to think that they wouldn't be together this time around, but these things happened and they would make it work. He and the guys had had a really great day-the album sounded amazing and they all signed off on it so that it would be sent off.
The drive home had been long-they'd hit traffic on the freeway-and all Andy could think about was getting home to be with Luxe. Maybe they could order in and watch a movie together? Andy knew Luxe was going to be in a rotten mood and as Ashley announced that the girls would be touring with Motionless In White, Andy knew that Luxe was probably devastated. MIW were a great group of guys-BVB had toured with them early on in both bands careers-and he knew that the girls would still have fun, but he wished that they could all tour again.
Now Luxe was seated on the couch, her eyes glazed over as she silently watched him move around the condo. Andy had pulled up, parking in his spot and smiling as he saw Luxe's brand new Bug sitting there-good, she was home and they could have the rest of the night together. As soon as he had gotten off the elevator at their floor, Andy felt his heart stop as he heard the loud yelling, music and could see his condo door was wide open. People were all over the place and Andy could only stare around at everyone until finally his eyes zoned in on Luxe.
She was being pinned to the couch, a guy hovering over her with his hands all over her tiny body and Andy saw red. He rushed forward, yanking the guy off and then he just went crazy. In a way Andy envisioned this guy as Alex and that's when his punches became harder and more feverish, but then someone had pulled him off.
Ashley-he must've followed Andy up, needing to get something from the singer or just checking on him. Andy had kicked everyone out, except Luce, who he had made sure was okay after he had yelled at her and then he began to clean.
Andy had wanted to yell, to scream and shout at the girl, but what good would that of done? It was obvious she was high, but on what he didn't know. He knew her coming back to LA was going to be a bad idea and Andy only wished he had the power to make her better. But only Lucinda could do that and right now that wasn't an option. Finally Andy finished cleaning-at least as much as he was going to do tonight and now he was coming over to her, looking down at the frail girl sitting on his couch.
"Luce...baby doll...what's happened to you?" He asked, taking a seat and immediately she began to cry. She hadn't been crying before, but seeing the disappointment in Andy's eyes had completely destroyed her resolve.
"I just-needed to blow off a little steam." She said softly, her grey eyes lifting up until their stares matched one another.
"I mean I get it babe, but did you really think this was okay?" Andy asked, reaching out and then he stopped. Luxe had flinched when he reached towards her-did she really think he would hurt her? Andy folded his hands in his lap, biting down on his lip ring as he looked at her.
"I-I don't know. The girls and I were all frustrated and we wanted to get away from Alex." Luxe explained, even though she knew it sounded lame.
"Why didn't you guys go out to Crow? Or to the Whiskey?" He asked as he looked around. The entire place was trashed-two lamps were broken and there was an odd stain on the floor in his bedroom.
"Because Alex knows those places-he has spies all around us...nowhere is safe." She said and Andy felt his fists clench. She was a prisoner-all of the girls were prisoners.
"I just wish you would've called me...let me know what was going on." He explained and Luxe only nodded. Andy was very nicely letting her live in his condo, using his things and not asking her for much and what had she done-she had trashed the place.
"I'm sorry Andy. I-if you want me to leave I can. Char said I could come stay with her if I needed to...if we ever had to end things..." She was stammering, speaking so quickly that Andy had to focus solely on her until finally he understood what she was saying.
Did she really think he would just boot her out like that? Andy was angry, but he was also really sad-for Luxe and for the other girls. He and the guys had a freedom that they hadn't even known about until they had met the Dolls and seen for themselves the power Alex held over them. Andy had repeatedly sought out his lawyers help, putting out his own money for her to research their contract to see if she could get it broken or amended, but Alex McFadden was smart. He had these girls hung by their toes for another few years and even then if they left the label they'd be leaving with nothing.
Andy wanted to fix it-he wanted to make things better, but he didn't know where to begin. Slowly he moved towards Luxe, holding his hands out towards her, his arms open and welcoming. She flattened herself against his chest, her blonde hair tickling his chin and she tucked her head against him and sat there. She wasn't crying, but she was shaking and Andy slowly wrapped his arms around her, rocking both of them back and forth.
As they sat there, a song came to his thoughts, a song that he hadn't ever really thought about, but he should of. He didn't know the name or even who sang it, but every time it seemed that he and Luxe were at a cross roads, this song popped on to the radio.
Slowly he began to hum and then his voice sang out softly, the words dripping from his tongue like the tears from his eyes.
This is not what I intended
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed
But I have loved you from the start
But hold your breath
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
"I love you Andy..." Luxe said softly, her voice muffled slightly from being pressed against his chest. Andy smiled, his lips still as he had stopped singing and he placed a soft kiss on top of her head. He knew that Luxe was drowning, he just didn't want to admit it to himself that she was falling apart.
"I love you too Luce...I love you too." He said as he held her. Finally Luxe pulled away from him, her grey eyes filled with shame as she looked at his face. He was smiling at her-why was he being so nice to her? She was a terrible person...she didn't deserve this kind of love and kindness.
"So I guess you heard that we're touring with Motionless In White..." Luxe stated and Andy couldn't help but notice how sad she sounded. He couldn't blame her-he was pretty bummed as well.
"Yeah Ash got a text from Char and we saw the video. They're really nice guys Luce...Chris did that cameo on your last album." Andy stated and Luxe only sighed, running her hands through her hair. Andy noticed how dirty she seemed-like she hadn't showered in a few days.
"Yeah, which is why we're touring with them. Alex had this whole plan-it's circus themed and so we're having new costumes made up for us to wear." Luxe said and Andy felt his entire body freeze. Costumes? The last time Luxe had worn a costume she had almost died because of it.
"Are you okay with that babe?" Andy asked and Luxe only sighed. No, no she wasn't okay with it, but what was she going to do?
"He assured me that my costume will have a faux corset in it, so I should be okay." Luxe said and Andy grunted. They both shared in a smile-they both knew Alex was a liar.
"Yeah, so he says. You gonna be okay this time around Luce?" Andy asked and Luxe just sat there.
Would she be okay? She didn't know-she was still trying to process the fact that she and Andy wouldn't be together. She would sleep in her own bunk, alone, she would be at the Meet and Greet with the guys from MIW, but it wouldn't be the same. She didn't know how she would handle it or who she would turn to and suddenly Luxe felt hopeless. When she was around Andy, Luxe didn't feel like she needed to get high-his love made her high enough. But without him around, the temptation was going to be incredibly strong and she didn't know if she was stronger.
Andy had gotten up off the couch and Luxe could see him in the kitchen, moving around as he made them some tea. Luxe sighed and looked around-she had really fucked things up this time. A party-what had she been thinking? She and the girls could of easily gone to Char's place, which was right around the corner anyways, and done something there. But deep down Luxe had wanted to show off-she wanted to be the big rockstar who had the party pad.
So now Andy's place was a wreck and Luxe knew she was to blame for it. Andy was walking back towards her, two steaming mugs in his hands and he handed her one as he sat down beside her.
"Here you go. Look Luce-I know the thought of us being apart is scary, but we can make this work." He assured her, but Luxe didn't seem convinced.
"How? How am I supposed go throughout my day without seeing you. You're the one person in my entire life who is always there for me...and now you won't be." She said sadly and Andy only smiled as he placed a hand against her cheek and rubbed his thumb over her bottom lip.
"Skype, texting, face time...trips...we can do this Luce." Andy said and Luxe closed her eyes at his touch. His long black hair was back over his shoulders, the ends ragged and in need of a trim and even with her eyes closed Luxe could see him sitting there.
"Promise this won't be the end of us?" She asked, opening her eyes and Andy sucked in a breath. She looked scared-terrified and Andy knew that nothing he said or did could make her feel okay right now.
"I promise. We will get through this baby doll." He said as he pressed his lips against her own and Luxe melted under his touch.
What would she do without his touch? What would she do without his reassurance? Luxe and Andy spent the rest of the night in each other's arms, only parting when Andy had to get up to get the door and pay for their food. They had a few months-the tours were starting in January and it was only mid October-to spend together and Luxe knew that Andy would make every moment special.
Deep down she knew that they would make it through this, but there was still that small worry that they were destined for disaster and she didn't know how to make that feeling go away.
Gotcha...you didn't think I'd break them up that easily did you?