Love And Other Drugs

The room they were all standing in was chilly-all of Germany was chilly-but Luxe was sucking it up. Before her was an alter, a plywood coffin where Andy was currently laying in full makeup and a crowd of people wearing hoods, including herself, Char, Pixie, Lulu and Mads. They were all somewhere in Germany-Luxe couldn't seem to remember-on the set of Black Veil Brides newest video for their EP song Coffin.

From what Luxe had heard of the song she really liked it, but the premise behind the words made her sad. It was mostly about the fans and how much they seemed to depend on the guys. Andy loved his fans, but being a savior was weighing heavily on him and he wasn't sure if he could take that responsibility for the rest of his life.

Luxe could understand that-she was starting to feel the pressure as well. Every time she went on Tumblr or Twitter or any social media where she could connect with her fans it was all people telling her how much they meant to her. How much she saved them. How they just needed to meet her one time so that they could tell her how much she meant to them. It was exhausting and she wasn't sure if she could do it forever. Luxe had to be on 24/7-constantly happy, always wearing the right clothes or saying the right thing. She and Andy were together now, but even being with him was tiring.

Alex still wanted the two of them to be together publicly and even more so now that they were really together. Constant Tweeting at one another or about eachother-commenting on every Instagram photo and she didn't even want to think about the paps. This morning Andy and Luxe had woken up-they had stayed on her bus and had slept in her bunk-and both decided that they wanted to hit a local bistro for some breakfast and then the flashes started.

They were followed down the sidewalk for ten blocks before finally they ducked inside a small shop and stayed there for over an hour. She was getting tired of it all, but Luxe wouldn't trade it all in for anything in the world.


"Places!" The director called out and Luxe scooted over in her seat so that Char and Pixie could have a seat beside her. They were all sitting in pews, watching as Andy laid in the coffin and the camera panned over the room.


As Andy laid in his coffin, Luxe tried hard not to giggle or laugh-they were supposed to be serious. The girls and the rest of their hooded clan were supposed to be mourning Andy and then once they realize he's gone, a few of them were to go up and begin to pick things off of his body. Luxe stood up and as the music played she walked towards Andy, her face hidden by the hood completely.

Slowly she reached the coffin and as she looked down, she felt her heart stop in her chest. Andy's arms were crossed over his chest, his fingernails painted black and his face was completely covered in his old stage makeup. Andy had started off the tour with his makeup, but then as the tour went on, Andy wore less and less. He experimented with different looks, but at the end of their UK tour, Andy had grown tired of all the theatrics.

Luxe couldn't blame him-she herself was getting tired of always having to have the perfect hair, makeup, clothes and attitude. She just wanted to be herself-she wanted to be Lucinda again. That was why being with Andy was so much fun-she didn't have to play the part of Luxe around him. His mom and dad didn't even call her Luxe, they called her Lucinda and Andy flat out refused to call her anything but Luce. He and Alex had gotten in to it the night before when he had called her Luce during their M&G-the fans couldn't know her as anyone else besides Luxe.

Of course that didn't sit well with Andy and he called Alex out on a lot of things-mostly how much the producer used the girls and their fame to get what he wanted. They're a product-not really people-is pretty much what he had said and Luxe had to pull Andy away from the manager before fists went flying. A few cigarettes and some small kisses later and Andy was fine-for now.

Luxe knew it was only a matter of time before he went off again and next time she didn't know if anyone was going to be able to step in between the two of them. Luxe snapped back to reality as she reached down, grabbed for the Stargram necklace that sat on top of Andy's chest. She held it up, smirking as she looked it over and the camera panned across her hood shrouded face.


"Cut! Reset!" Someone called out and Luxe took a step back, the necklace still in her hands as she watched Andy take Ashley's hand and climb out of the coffin. It was so strange seeing him with that much makeup on and Luxe found herself giggling at him as he righted himself.

"What's so funny?" Andy asked as he pulled down his vest, his arms covered in dark paint and his skinny torso naked underneath the bright lights that had been turned on. It was time for him to go wash everything off of his face-Andy Six was being washed down the drain.

"Just not used to seeing you all made up. It's like the first time we met, but you have half the amount of hair and I think mine is starting to house a family of birds in it." Luxe laughed as she took his hand and Andy chuckled as he moved her hood down so that he could see her. Luxe was right-her blonde hair was getting tangled and matted from all of the product and it was beginning to look like his had.

"Yeah, it's really weird looking like this again. I'm sure the fans will love it, but I'm actually pretty happy not to have to do this everyday." Andy said as the two of them walked off the stage and headed towards a small grouping of couches.

"Lucky bastard." She said playfully as she pushed him before taking a seat on one of the plush couches. They were soon joined by both bands-the set was being reset and soon enough it would be Andy's solo shots and the girls and rest of BVB would just sit by and watch.

"Why is he so lucky?" Ashley asked, taking a seat on the Luxe's other side and the girl looked towards the bassist. He was smirking at her-that cheesy smirk he gave girls when he was hitting on them. Did Char see that smirk often?

"Because he doesn't have to wear a pound of makeup ever time he goes out in public." Luxe said and then clinked her newly acquired beer bottle against Char's in agreement. All of the girls were getting tired of playing their parts, but there was nothing to be done about it.

"Yeah, yeah. Look I've gotta head back out there for my solo shots. Keep her company Ash." Andy said as he stood, bent down and kissed the Luxe on the top of her head. 'Keep her company' meant one thing-watch Luxe and make sure she stayed out of trouble.

"Aye, aye." Ashley said with a playfulness to his tone and Luxe only sighed.


Andy constantly wanted to watch over Luxe, or have someone else watch over her if he couldn't and it was getting exasperating. She wasn't a baby-sure she had done some stuff that she shouldn't of and now Andy was worried about her, but Luxe wasn't stupid. She liked the feeling her pills gave her-the uppers kept her going for the day-kept her energy up under the tireless schedule that Alex insisted that she keep and then the Valium helped calm her down at night so that she could sleep and it also helped with her ever growing anxiety.

Alex had pulled Luxe aside and told her that album sales were down-the record had dropped in Asia and wasn't doing as well as they had hoped. So she felt even more pressure to be someone she wasn't.

As for the Coke, well that was just fun and of course drinking with the girls was a blast. When Luxe was high on Coke she felt like she could do anything in the world-she could be whoever she wanted to be and was completely unstoppable. Flying high was unlike anything Luxe had ever felt and it allowed her to see another world.

Jinxx said she was like Alice going down the Rabbit Hole, which lead to the guitarist nick naming her Alice. In turn Luxe began to call Andy White Rabbit because of his ghostly white skin and the two of them had a good laugh about it. Luxe looked around, noticing that Pixie and Lulu were giggling loudly and sniffing-they'd both snuck off and taken hits.


"Don't even think about it." Someone whispered in her ear. Luxe snapped her head around and came eye to eye and face to face with Ashley. He was looking at her, his brown eyes filled with concern and Luxe tried to distract him with a laugh.

"Think about what?" She laughed and soon enough Luxe found herself being pulled up and dragged behind Ashley. Where were they headed?

"You know what." Ashley said as they rounded a corner. From this point Luxe could see that Andy was on set and standing behind a pulpit stand, the music playing loudly as he lip synched along to it.


Words as weapons
Pierce into you
So self-righteous, have it your way
I'm alive and now I'm burning
Say a prayer to end today


"Ashley I really don't know what you're talking about." Luxe said, but Ashley said nothing as he knew she could barely hear him over the music playing. This probably wasn't the time or place, but Ashley needed to talk to the wild child before she self destructed completely.

He pulled her along until finally they wound up outside in the sunshine, in a back alley where no one could see them. A high fence had her trapped, with Ashley blocking the door and Luxe knew that there was no talking her way out of this.

"Look, Luxe I know you like to party and, hey, I'm usually right there with you pouring the shots. But drugs...that shit can seriously fuck you up girlie." Ashley said as he placed a hand on her arm and looked her in the eye. Ashley had seen Luxe get wild-all of the girls loved to party, especially right after a good show.

"But I'm not-" Ashley held up a hand and refused to let her finish.

"I don't care. Coke is a serious drug and it's pretty obvious that you girls enjoy it. I love Andy and he loves you, but I can't sit here and watch him get his heart torn out." Ashley said as he crossed his arms over his chest and looked at the girl before him. She looked tired-bone tired and he could tell she was jonesing to get inside.

"No one said anything about breaking hearts Ash. I love Andy just as much as you do..." Luxe defended and Ashley only nodded. Sure-she loved him now, but what was going to happen when Andy made Luxe choose between him and her vices?

"And I'm not saying that you don't love him. I just think you love your drugs and booze a little bit more." A loud slap sounded out through the alley way and Ashley found his head falling back and Luxe was now pushing him aside.

"Fuck you Ashley..." She said through gritted teeth and Ashley only stood there, one hand cupping his now beet red cheek. The door slammed behind her and Ashley was left out in the alley alone. He had tried to help her-tried to make her see how bad things could get, but it was very clear that Luxe didn't care and was completely ready to self destruct.


I tried to save you
But let you drink the pain
A final song now we both know.
So I'm not givin' up
Won't let you suffocate me
You find your hell is home.

Notes

When the party man himself tells you that you're out of control you know things are getting bad.

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